He and I have known each other since we were 13. When we were freshmen in high school, we would go through periods of being together and being apart--it wasn't anything serious. Last year, I contacted him for the first time in over a year. We hit it off right away. I had changed, he had changed. We started seeing each other and had a whirlwind romance for five months. That is, until I lied about seeing another person. At the time, I thought he was doing the same and I wanted to see his reaction. Of course now I see that this was so wrong and I still feel intense remorse.
He stopped talking to me, ignoring my phone calls, not responding to my text messages, etc. He was not the kind of person to get attached to anyone person. He is a "player" in the truest sense of the word. So I never imagined that he would be attached to me. When he finally did pick up the phone, it resulted in an angry hang up on his end of the phone. He said that he "had emotions invested in this relationship" and that he had "lost all respect for me".
We didn't talk for eight months. I heard bits and pieces about him through mutual friends. Things like, he had talked about me to his peers, etc. Then, about a month ago, I contacted him and he responded, much to my own surprise. We started talking again and soon he agreed to "hang out". When we did "hang out" we ended up kissing, holding hands, cuddling--it was like the last eight months didn't exist. And every time I saw him after that, the same thing happened.
That is until two days ago when he told me that he thought he was "in love" with his ex-girlfriend whom he dated "two or three years ago". I asked him about it and he said that "it's like I can be myself in front of her. When I was with her, it was like a remembered all the good things." And at first, I tried to be happy for him but eventually I broke and said, "Well, I'm happy for you, but I'm just upset that that person couldn't be me. You don't know how hard the last eight months have been for me." And he got defensive and said, "I guess you're right, I don't understand."
He called me later that night and when prompted about our relationship he said, "I was happy until "that" (the lie) happened. We can never be close friends because I can't let our relationship get to the place where you can control me. I lost my cool. I spent months trying to figure everything out. I can't forget. It still hurts. I don't trust you. Not like I did." He almost started to cry: "This is really hard for me." When asked whether or not he had feelings for me, he said, "Not in the same amount as I did."
He called me the next evening and I didn't answer right away, but called him back about two hours later. He didn't answer. He sends me a text message the next day that says, "Sorry I didn't answer. I was with her."
I saw him last Friday at a football game and he agreed to hang out Monday afternoon after school.
I just want to know his motives and how to act for the next few months.
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What Girls Said
N/A
(Age:18 to 24)
When: 3 hours ago
It seems to me that you have a big role in in. How you broke his heart even if he is a player that you lyed that was enough for him. He seems he will be good as a friend not good great friend just a friend. Just try to not bring up anything that would hurt him. Try to avoid certain topics and some times it good to keep your mouth shut.
(Age:18 to 24)
When: 3 hours ago
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