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Albedo667

Is it better to learn from my mistakes or should I just move on?

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Albedo667 (Age:18 to 24)     When: More than a year ago
Views: 111     Category: Break-Up

Hi everyone I have a little question that's been on my mind for quite sometime. Again I'll try to not make this too long.

A little over a year ago I met this nice girl, after a while we started going out, soon after we became boyfriend/girlfriend and all that stuff.

A few months into our relationship, she had yet to make up her mind as to whether she liked me "like that" or not, that was fine by me because I figured I would give her as much time as she needed.

Fast forward to 7 months later, she STILL hasn't made up her mind and it didn't look like she was going to anytime soon, so because I didn't see us going anywhere I decided it would be best if we parted ways. When I broke up with her she didn't seem too phased by it, I however couldn't say the same.

Now over the summer I was left feeling empty and did all I could to try and figure out what I did wrong to have our relationship fail, and to this day I still don't have it figured out.

My question is, should I try and figure it out or do I just simply forget it and move on?

Any input is appreciated! Thanks!


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Best Answer

Shlei3
14595  
Shlei3      When: More than a year ago
Don't beat yourself up over this. She is the one that couldn't make up her mind. Sometimes relationships don't work. The only mistake you made was staying with someone who didn't appreciate you for you or give back what you were giving. Now if you weren't putting much effort into it I would say take a look at that. Because I don't know a lot about how you were I can't tell you what you need to work on.
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Question Asker Thank you, and to clear that little effort part up, I think it was about a 90%/10% with me and her, respectively - More than a year ago
Answerer Than that's all you can do. Relationships are there to help you grow, appreciate the other person and learn a thing or two. Lesson to be learned here: Don't ever settle for less. - More than a year ago
Question Asker Again thank you so much!! I appreciate the help!! - More than a year ago
Answerer Anytime. - More than a year ago

What Girls Said

pinkey125
0  
pinkey125      When: More than a year ago
i would move on I wound do that if I was you because when she makes up her mind I bet she is going to go out with you then break your heart then go back out with her exs like the boys do to me
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Question Asker She won't ever make up her mind....and I don't care if she does or not. She's never had a relationship prior to this one - More than a year ago

katrina0007
80  
katrina0007      When: More than a year ago
hi again .if you never wanna go back to her or for that matter want her back.then.then .y do you wanna figure out What went wrong?now+ if its is to learn from ur mistakes then.well what happened in ur previous relation may (im sure will not) happen again wid some 1 else.
so be happy simply forget it.life is beautiful.with plenty of good hearted people waiting .:)
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Question Asker I do wish to learn from my mistakes for one simple reason: so that I don't repeat them again!! But I guess I'll take your word and just move on I guess - More than a year ago

katrina0007
80  
katrina0007      When: More than a year ago
yes you have to move on
she STILL hasn't made up her mind
That should give you a clear idea of where her mind is.now I don't think she will befocused on getting back with you) and what her “feelings” TRULY are. Here's what I want you to do first and foremost. Think about making some decisions for YOURSELF.
. she may n't share your feelings of wanting to get back together in a committed relationship with you. If you challenge this idea, you need to recognize something important.That she 's not in the right place in her life to share what you want with her . What you really need for yourself is to find a healthy way to take some of the focus off of her and put it back on you and your life.'s
This doesn't mean you have to go out and date right now, but you need to take your mind off her. I know it's hard to do this when you still have intense feelings for her. But the simple truth is that you're setting yourself up for ALL KINDS of pain and disappointment.

Yeah, I've seen couples get back together like this - but the odds are things don't look good for this old relationship.and many end up breakin up for the same reason.leaving more hurt and disturbed. The more you can distance yourself from your her the happier you'll be. Trust me.

And I know doing this is tough, but you've got to do it if you're going to find your way to a new and improved situation - with or without her.
at the end its ur personal decision .but I would suggest you take some time off her.pull back relax and wait and watch
.if she comes crawling back to you after some time ensure that its not any rebound from any other guy during your "not in touch phase"
hope this helps
regards

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Question Asker I think you took part of my question the wrong way, I never said I wanted to get back with her, I have no intention whatsoever of doing that, I know she would never come crawling back to me, sorry to have confused you. And we've been apart since June of this year, since that time I haven't been in any relationships or even on any dates. One last thing is I no longer have any feelings for her because of what I learned about myself over the summer - More than a year ago
 

What Guys Said

matt4902
468  
matt4902      When: More than a year ago
try to figure out what it was, fixing the tire is easier than building the car. In the Relationship I believe "like that" means Sex am I Right? in that case you should have given her more time and also if she was unphased may be she had decide that A) she didn't truly love you or B) she wasnt going to make a big deal of it or C) she loved some one else and would try it with them. Also Women release a Hormone in Sex that mentally cements a relationship with you a break up after that I imagine would result in the week of "waulowing" and hysterical sadness. Also because of the Hormone several months is not to much time to decide if your going to permanently connect yourself with someone
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