My boyfriend of 2 years and 8 months just broke up with me on Monday. He doesn't even really seem to know why he wanted to break up though and I am really confused. He and I are both kind of shy and we hadn't ever even kissed anyone before until a few weeks ago. We were saying bye after hanging out at his house and he walked me to my car and he was being extra nice and sweet and hugged me a lot and rubbed my back and kissed me on the cheek a bunch. Then after I sat down in my vehicle he leaned in and hugged me and then while still in mid-hug he leaned back a little and then tried to kiss me on the cheek but our lips happened to touch as I turned to kiss him.
We both got really nervous and we just let out lips touch for a while then he pulled me a little closer and gave me a few sweet pecks on the lips then he pulled me even closer and French kissed me. And the kiss lasted for quite a while. He seemed to really enjoy it too and he was really passionate about it and I kissed him back. He has been gazing really strongly at my lips the past few months and he seemed to have wanted to kiss me for a while. But he is scared to let anyone close to him and neither he or I have dated anyone else for more than just a few months and we've gotten pretty close especially in the past few months. We get along really well and we haven't ever even had a fight. I think he broke up because he got scared of getting close.
He thought about breaking up before but he always realized he was just in some phase or something and he always changed his mind and stopped wanting to break up. He gets really scared of letting someone close to himbecause he got hurt in the past by a previous girlfriend and he is scared of letting anyone close to him now. He is scared of serious relationships and isn't sure if he is ready for one but yet he has let me get really close to him. He said he thought he would know if he was the guy for me when he kissed me and he doesn't think he is the guy for me because he didn't have a special feeling that told him we were meant to be during the kiss.
We both take classes at the same community college but since I started classes before he did I will be graduating this year in the spring or summer and he still has a while to go and he feels like he is somehow holding me back from going forward in life. I don't know why he feels that way though. And for the past two months he's been extra busy since he has to work longer hours now and so we don't get to see each other and much like we used to and he said he doesn't love me anymore but I think its because we haven't seen each other much in the past 2 months much. We are still really close best friends.
I still love him and want to be more than friends again. He didn't say if he liked the kiss. Is there something I could do to re-spark his love for me? I feel like he is the right guy for me and feel that we were meant to be together forever. Is there something I could do to help him not be scared? I'm very confused.
Update: My ex has called me once since he broke up with me but I'm not for sure when I should bring up the kiss & him breaking up with me. I'm glad I got a response to this, thanks marie099. But I'd like to get some more opinions on all this especially from guys.
7 months ago
Maybe in his last relationship he felt as if he was in love with the girl.... but then it didn't end the right way and he's scared it may happen again.
I'm the same way. I will date a guy but when it comes to them coming to my house all the time I don't let it happen because I feel that somewhere down the line the relationship will break off an it always does.
My advice to you would be talk to him. If you really like this guy you need to trust him and put trust in him so he's comfortable with you. You have to realize that if he's scared of commitment YOU have to be the one to help him get over that or he will keep backing away from you. When you talk to him look at him and explain that you would really enjoy being part of his life and in your heart you really are commited. Doing this will bring him closer to you... it will be like a breath of fresh air for him knowing that its okay to spend lots of time with you and not feel like it will be wasted.
Although on the other hand he could be thinking the opposite and just may not feel as if he's attracted to you enough and doesn't want to hurt you. It doesn't mean that he doesn't still like you as a friend. This is why communication is key in any relationship... whether it be friendship.... dating or marriage you have to talk to eachother to know what's going on. So talk to him. Don't be afraid t tell him how you feel and to ask him questions. Ask him if he broke up because he was scared or if it was because he isn't attracted to you on that level. His reply may be "i don't know".... he really does know it will just take him time to get it out. Good luck! I hope I helped you.
Thanks Marie. I have tried to help him not be so scared but it doesn't seem to work. I have talked with him but he doesn't open up much. I have called him about every day now since he broke up with me and he hasn't called me back yet, is that a bad sign? - 7 months ago
Answerer
Well, if he's not calling you back he has a reason why. All you can really do is just let him be alone for awhile. He will call you if he feels he needs to. Sorry I can't be much more of a help :( I wish you luck though!! - 7 months ago
Question Asker
Wow he just called me a lil while ago and we talked for 2 hours. He said he just had to work a lot since some people quit where he works. He seemed like his normal self but we didn't talk about the break up or any of that. Should I bring that up or not? - 7 months ago
Answerer
That's awesome he called you! And it's your choice to bring a convo up about the breakup if you feel its right go for it! - 7 months ago
A girl that I have been talking to has had a really bad past relationship and many of my actions have resembled that of his during their relationship....
View Answers
My boyfriend of almost three years broke up with me exactly a month ago. He doesn't really seem to know why though and he gives me different answers...
View Answers
(Age:18 to 24)
When: 7 months ago
Site Links
About GirlsAskGuys
GirlsAskGuys Widgets
Help Us Improve!
