The Facts: Serious relationship of 4 years, true love, mutual respect, laughter, fun, great physical connection, open communication, we have both been talking about marriage, seemingly great relationship.
Had some ups and downs over the years but always worked it out due to open communication and love.
Recently she took a trip to visit a sick family member, and we had a fight while she was gone over something (both at fault kinda). Upon her return she seemed distant. Before she left things were great (or at least that's how it seemed). The first several days she was gone, she was texting me how much she misses me and loves me. Something happened while she was gone. It seems that someone reinforced her to consider a break-up. A family member or a guy I'm thinking? So like I said she was distant when she got back, and I took the initiative to talk about her happiness (I tend to put things all on the table). I confessed my love and told her why we make a great couple and that things would definitely work out if we try. She cried and agreed that we should stay and give 100%. So for the past two weeks, things have been fine, not great. I have gone out of my way everyday to treat her awesome and show affection, and make her feel special, but it may have been overkill. Things seemed good but I know her well. And I could recognize a slight distance still. We had a nice Valentines date (ballroom dancing lessons) and things seemed good. The next day, I sensed the distance in her voice and asked her about it. This led to a conversation about incompatibility. She said she wanted a break. I creid and told her how I truly felt, then said a final goodbye, she tried to say I love you as we left but I couldn't say it back at that time. Its been 2 days and I haven't called her and she hasn't called me.
Now I'm no dummy. I believe that she is talking (she's too loyal to 2-time) to another guy now. My family and friends agree that she has been acting distant (she is very close to my family, especially mom and sister), and are helping me accept the truth that maybe we aren't meant. I think her and I agree that we had something very special, I mean a close emotional connection.
So my questions are:
How can a girl date or talk to other guys right after ending a 4. 5 year true-love relationship?
Why hasn't she called to see how I'm doing, does she even care? Many people say that she will realize and come back, might she? I am hurting deep in my heart, but what is she thinking now, is she hurting, regretful? How long could she need to realize she wants me, if at all?
I truly care about her and love her (and she knows), how long do I hold on? She deserves the space she wants, should I ever express my love again, or is what she already knows enough for her to know I would take her back?
You can't date that fast-Rebound cant say if she will come back, but yes there is always a chance. Again, I have no idea what she is thinking, but being with someone that long, yes she feels sad and confused. It will take her however long she needs. I can't answer that. It really depends on what her heart wants. I would not contact her at this point. Let her feel the loss of you. By contacting her it will delay the missing you. And you will look needy. Now, my thoughts:
First off, she is going through something. That doesn't mean she is dating or talking to another guy. It could mean,she needs to figure out what she wants from you and the relationship. Maybe the time apart will help her see that. You need to make her see that you were the one. She can't see that if you talk and communicate with her. Give her the space she wants and if she wants to get back together she will let you know. I know its hard and you miss her but, this is the test. You can pass the test by leaving her to her thoughts. After 4 years this girl will miss you. I promise you that.
My first question would have to be what was the fight about. You never really told us and it could help to know what went wrong. Also while I was reading this, I got the impression that things starting falling apart after she got back from being with her family. No offense but if its a serious illness she might be scared and feeling a lot so just give her some space and relax because a serious illness in a family is one of the worst things in the world. Don't just start assuming things, call her and ask if she's okay but don't bring it up cause that could upset her some more, okay? Wish you good luck.
Im not a physic I don't know what will really happen but give it time. She may go for that other guy and it may take awhile but I'm sure she will realise what she gave up and like any girl she will want it back. From my own experience I was in the same boat as her I went running to another guy because I had become so dependent on another man in my life. I felt I still needed someone. I was with him for six months when he told me he loved me at that moment I realised I didn't hav that type of love for him and I compared every memory I had to my ex. 2 weeks later we broke up and I immediately called my true love and we got back together and we have been together for two years without any big problem( before we broke up we were together 3 years)This may or may not happen but only time will tell. You need to do what is best for you and possibly prepare for the worst your still young.
Why do we say we love someone, then have casual sex with other partners?Are we using the word LOVE to freely?Is the SEX just that important?I have...
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(Age:25 to 29)
When: 6 months ago
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