he was with his x girlfriend for over 2 years, he dumped her 18 months ok. He tells us there is nothing there any more and is over her. But since he dumped her he goes to work unshaven, looks sad and only seems to shave when its a big night out. B4 he used to shave all the time and hated stubble. is this some kind of depression?
Damn then I must be depressed. I don't shave all the time either..
Well, who knows about that.. Sudden changes in appearance can be a sign of slight depression but I wouldn't call it a problem. I agree with the others below, I think he needs a nice walk and lunch with a good friend.
Is he still acting like this after 2 months? If so, buy or check out a book on clinical depression, or at least read about it online. (Make sure what you read is written by actual doctors and/or researchers - that means PhD, PsyD, and MDs, not people selling things.)
Sudden changes in hygiene, mood, and behavior of the kind you're describing are some of the signs of depression. They're also signs of normal sadness. When they persist for several months, though, it's time to seriously consider that he might be suffering from a depressive disorder.
Whether he's depressed or not, it's good of you to be supportive. Be careful trying to diagnose people yourself, but don't be afraid to suggest that he go see a therapist!
I don't know that the facial hair thing is necessarily a sign of depression. Shaving just gets to be a chore after a while and some guys change their mind about how often they shave. As far as being sad all of the time, that is a sign of depression, but usually it is coupled with other things like, isolation, upset stomach, thoughts of suicide, fatigue, etc..
He might still be depressed, you might want to offer to take him out for pizza or coffee sometime. It is always good to remind him that there are other people out there that care about him/his well being.
All it is with the unshaving business is b4 he got with this girl and during the time he always had to shave always had to be clean since he dumped her 18 months ago he doesn't bother. Only when we all go out for a proper night out.
when we do go out he is all happy and smiley , but once away from the pubs from a distance if I c him he has his head down.
he says he is ok and over it. - 5 months ago
Answerer
I think that he is over it. If he goes out with others and puts himself together and has a good time while he is out, then he is pretty well over her. Just stop asking him about her. I'm sure that it stings a bit. The best thing you can do is to be a friend. - 5 months ago
Question Asker
I disagree that he is over it, I know everyone is different. I am nearly a year and half since splitting with my ex and I'm not over it, I go out have a good time all smiley but at the back of my head he is there, when I'm away from the clubs I still make some sort of effort.
i am a friend to him I'm just worried. he won't talk about her,or if he sees her he says there is nothin there I'm over it. - 5 months ago
Answerer
Maybe you are projecting your feelings about your past relationship on to him and his past relationship.
I think that people morn a breakup in different ways, but it never helps to have someone constantly asking, "are you okay?" If he hasn't opened up to you by now, he isn't going to. He just wants to move on.
Not to mention, constantly thinking about the past, makes it very difficult to move forward. - 5 months ago
he could just be on a vacation from having to look good all the time, just getting lazy. anonymous makes a good point about you projecting your feelings onto your friend. just enjoy his company and have fun together, it sounds like he doesn't want to talk about it. he's going out with friends, that's a good sign.
Sounds like it! You should invite him to your house for pizza and sports, or go out and meet up for pool, the bar... Get him out of the house. and work your way into figuring out what's wrong. Don't take "nothing " for an answer.
definitely talk to the guy. maybe he's the type to not know how to think about his current situation and perhaps wants to be with your friend. but something is preventing him. so he needs to talk and get it out of his system.
Getting over someone does take a grieving process. He may be down for a while. 2 years is a while and maybe some crap went down between them that just hurt him deeply for a while. All you can do is offer listening sometimes and support.
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(Age:25 to 29)
When: 5 months ago
When: 5 months ago
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