Ive known this guy for a year and half.At first we were FWB but then I left him because I didn't like the way it turned out.we recently started hanging out again and he told me to never leave him again.I know I'm in love with him and want to be with him, but I don't know if he wants to be with me?Ive tied to move on by dating other guys but they never work out.when we hang out he's always very romantic with me and we have a lot of passion and chemistry together.We both know there is a very strong connection between us but I don't know if he wants to be in a relationship with me?when we talk he says things like if I were his girlfriend things would be much different between us, and he's even brought up marriage to me.last time we hung out he said "when we get married" like he knew for sure? but I was confused because I didn't know if that meant we were boyfriend and girlfriend now?its weird because I rarely see him but when we do he acts like were a couple and he sometimes holds my hand but then the rest of the time he hangs around his buddies.one of the other things that bothers me is he says one of his best friends is a girl and I'm worried that something may be going more than friendship?he says they're not dating and that she's actually hooking up with someone else but she hangs out a lot with him and his buddies even on the holidays which upsets me because he never invites me out for the holidays even though he acts like I'm the one he wants to be with.last time we talked he invited me to dinner with him for his cousins birthday but I said I couldn't because I had to work and after that he never brought it up again. I'm not sure if he's trying to make me his girlfriend without having to actually ask?Should I have a talk with him or should I just move on?I don't want to scare him away but he's giving me mixed signals.
Update: Well basically I am moving on.I really love him and care for him a lot & I think we would have been really great together but he doesn't want a commitment right now & I don't know if he ever will, but I can't wait around anymore bcuz I deserve to be happy
4 months ago
Update: Also I think deep down he doesn't feel good enough for me and he isn't happy with his life and I could only do so much to make him realize I loved him no matter what.So basically I'm just moving on and when the time is right I'll meet someone better.
4 months ago
Move on and make yourself available for the right guy, the one who will treat you like gold and recognize all your great qualities. Also, keep in mind that having sex too soon with someone could put you in the permanent category of FWB and the guy will never be able to move on to a relationship. Relationships are about connecting on an emotional level not about sex. So, in order to figure out if a guy likes you or just thinks you would be a good sex partner, you need to have several dates (3, 4, 5 something along those lines) and see that he is really in to you, listens to you, plans dates and cannot wait to see you before you move on to sex. A guy who is only dating you because he thinks you will have sex with him quickly will lose interest and won't call you for the 2nd or 3rd date.
Oh, and beware, this guy will continue to contact you and he will also continue to try and keep you interested by putting stuff out there to make you feel like you are in consideration for a girlfriend but don't fall for it. I was in a similar situation with a guy trying to pretend that there was more on his part than looking for sex, so when I took sex out of the equation by making sure to only accept an invite for a regular date from him, well surprise, surprise he cancelled the regular date (had to work late you know) but asked if we could hang out at his place instead. When I did not go for that and said we could reschedule the date for another time instead, well he did not call back for a date.
Im just going to ignore his calls and stay away from him period .Im done with guys like him lying to me and just using me for sex.I was really hoping for a good year but so far the last year and a half hasbeen a disaster and I think once I forget about him and move on things will get better for me.....hopefully...I just hope karma does exist so that way he & everyone else who did me wrong ie. (guys, bosses, co-workers) can get there come upins!!! - 4 months ago
Answerer
I agree about ignoring him. He won't change and he is a turkey for saying all the things he has. All you can do is take away a lesson from this and know that, unless you are in a relationship with someone, you cannot trust a guy to be the one to look out for your best interests. They will be looking out for their own and you need to be the one to look out for yourself and make sure to spend the time to figure out if a guy really is in to you before you have sex. - 4 months ago
Question Asker
Yeah that's what I'm basically going to do, and I'm going to be more careful when choosing who I date. - 4 months ago
What Guys Said
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Unfortunately he is doing and saying things that he believes will keep you in the game with him. Some guys have this great way of saying things to give the impression in a FWB situation that it is more than that because they sense that girls respond to that. In the end the fact that you rarely see him, he doesn't do the kind of things you would expect he would do as a boyfriend like ask you out with friends and family much and he has not asked you to be his girlfriend, well those actions speak louder than words he says to you in private the random times you do meet up. What a guy says like throwing out talk of "if you were my girlfriend" or "when we get married" is of no value if they do not back it up with actions. I have been down this path before and it has shown me the whole FWB comes with all these "mixed signals" that keep us girls guessing and hoping for things that are not going to happen.
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