Are men intimidated by accomplished women?

I am that man.
If you as a women feel the need to Excel, to prove your worth to your self, to be independent and to feel proud of being a self made woman, we men seem to have the same need but multiplied by some evolutionary number.
I am no evolutionary psychologist but I feel certain that us males have been trained by millennia of evolution to compete with each other- that Alfa male idea… we where measured by strength, stamina, boldness, and other physical and metal qualities.
It seems to me, that unless you are a pretty exceptional character you will judge yourself and others by the measure of success… the thing is, success is measured today by very different standards, for the most part by consumism.
Males (with some exceptions) provided security, food, shelter, etc for millennia by means of physical tasks and tactical and strategic thinking… simplifying a lot, today the qualities for becoming a provider are quite different, yet the human brain has stayed the same for over a 100 thousand years. That is why I believe that 6 thousand years of “civilization” is not enough for a deep rotted change.(remember the dark ages or WWII or the famous duels not even 300 years ago for examples of "civilization" !)
We, males, even before we where "males" need to compete... visualize little sperms swimming like crazy screaming "There can be only one"
We men,need to bring the cards to the table whenever we meet other men/males face to face… especially if we have to “defend” something. But, we try not to let this primeval instinct prevail, we say to ourselves that we are more intelligent than that… and we keep thinking and then we think some more and eventually see you sitting there all beautiful and soft, with a spunky personality, all successful and end up thinking…like the brutes that we are…. I’m not the Alfa male at this moment in history.
I am an artist without money, my girlfriend is worth millions of dollars that SHE made in just 3 years… we just broke up cause I can handle the pressure, I just can’t keep up, and I just can’t accept her money… but that is another issue... that IS the same issue!…
I am not the Alfa male at this time in history… I probably wouldn’t have been in any other time of history… I could have been a Shaman maybe.
You can certainly get that man, it is somewhere, I am confident that he will find you.
(Forgive my English as a second language)

I don't think you're doomed to remain single. You are however very intimidating, as you already know. There is no disputing the facts. I would love to say that beauty, success, and “spunk” are aspects we all want in our partners, most claim it is, but when we are actually faced with such a daunting task as to measure up to such an individual, we fall short. We all want to feel like were contributing to the relationship but when the woman has it all, what can we really offer?

I’m confident in saying your Mr. Right will one day come along. You just need to sift threw all the guys who can't measure up. They need to feel “they” are your equal as much as “you” need to feel they are your equal.

Unfortunitly the majority of the population fits into the category of “just getting by” leaving you trying to find the right guy in the category “success in spades”. You’ve just got a much smaller category to choose from then most. If the success you have achieved thus far in your life is any indication of what's to come, you will get get your man.

Hope I’ve been insightful.
Cheers.

I suppose some guys might, since they might want to be "the provider". It's a natural instinct for males of most species. Personally, I think that would be great, it shows that you're smart and aren't dependent.

There is no one man and there is no one woman.

You will find men that you like that will accept u,but you will also find men that ether don't accept you or are just too shy.

You just had bad luck,so keep at it and it will happen.


Peace!

Career women are generally a poor choice because they are usually a self-centred bunch of pragmatists that have really nothing to give.

No, power is the ultimate aphrodisiac. Hillary Clinton, Belinda Stronach, Yulia Tymoshenko -- all hot women. Although Hillary is kinda not so hot right now.

i don't believe for one minute that any guy told you that he wouldn't date you because you were a triple threat. I believe that's what you told yourself, and you put the words in someone else's mouth thinking that it'd make you look less shallow and arrogant.

I'm white but black women are, for me, far and away the finest God made. If the woman happens to be physically attractive, has a great personality, and is successful careeerwise, all the better. What's not to like?

Yes, you're probably intimidating men somewhat. Probably the two main reasons are 1) your high-income, prestigious, demanding job makes them feel unimportant by comparison and 2) they fear competition from the many men who are attracted to you, especially when you flirt with other men as much as I'm guessing you do.

Getting over 1) requires a guy who have a calm, mature attitude about their own job/income. (We do exist - I've dated professionals who make much more money than me.)

2) can be solved by finding someone who can deal with his own jealousy. For any sort of long-term thing, this will require earning his trust and communicating with each other often and honestly.

These two restrictions narrow the playing field quite a bit, but if you're anywhere near as sexy and successful as you say you are, there will still be plenty of fish in the sea. Good hunting!

You can't generalize men like that. Just like not all women are looking for wealth as the main attraction to men. Some men are intimidated and some aren't. Each will have their own reasons, I bet you.

As for your statement about not able to get a man, I don't think it is true. You can get married tomorrow if you really want to. Just pick a bum off the street and marry him or her. The thing is, you have a standard. I am not suggesting to lower your standard, all I am saying is the fact that you haven't found anyone yet is not a negative statement about you. So, don't despair!

intimidating? very. the thing is your success and good looks together put up a sort of barrier that only an extremely confident guy can get through. and unfortunately the only guys who can really carry that kind of confidence are jerks usually.

Even I as a GIRL feel intemidated when a guy I'm dating makes more than I do. It really can go both ways.

Its understandable that men would be intimidated, but I don't think all men would be. There are a lot of men that would think that women being successful is very attractive. Just listen to the song "She's Got Her Own" by Ne-Yo. I would think they would like the idea that they aren't the only ones making an income. It makes it easier to survive. These days both men and women need to work to keep up the household because things are getting so expensive. Another thing is that they don't always have to pay when you go out. Of course their reaction would be TO pay, but it would be nice to be thrown a bone. Also, the fact that guys think since you have everything that they have nothing to offer is BS. Its the thought that counts, especially if it comes from the heart. Even a card with a really thought out message from my boyfriend that he wrote on his own would make me the happiest girl alive because he took the time to write it. It doesn't always have to be something material.

I truly believe that there is someone out there for everyone. The only reason that people end up alone is most likely because they made a mistake or turned their cheek on the person that could have been the one and figured it was too late to turn back. Don't ever be afraid to take a chance because you never know what you will be missing. Opportunities don't come often, and your decision is so important because you may not be able to make it again. If a guy comes your way, give him a chance and lay it all out on the table. Be yourself and let him know where you stand. Remember to never settle because you deserve someone great and he is out there.

ummm I'm 17 and I am a musician play 4 instruments,make a good decent amount of money,really attractive obviously cause I have guys saying all the time I should be a modal,play sports and make good grades.my friends get more guys asking them out more then I do but I have more guys hang around me /flirting with me but yet they won't ask me out .See they are a bit intimidated to ask really accomplished woman out because they kinda get the feeling she doesn't have time for me ,or something like that.no you are not doom you just have to find someone that can keep up with you,relate to what you do how you feel and stuff like that.that mainly why I go after musicians,jocks or someone that is really serious about their future because they can relate to me and understand me I don't have to spell things out for them.hope this helps.

You're out of most men's league-or that's how they feel. Most guys like to be the "macho" and be able to do some things for their gf, but how can they do that if you've already got everything? When you date a new guy don't let him know all this stuff right off the bat. Just see if you have chemistry and he has a good personality-if he passes then you can see if he'll stick around

I think it is stupid if they are.

Well, I think if you look at it logically...what kind of guys are going to be intimiadated by an accomplished woman who can hold her own? The ones which are not secure within themselves perhaps? (this is maybe why your older friends would date you-they are more sure of themselves and confident with age?).
You need to find a man who is confident,self assured and established so he won't be threatened-the ones that are just aren't ready for ya.
A strong man will appreciate the qualitys you mentioned and respect you for it...
Dont look at it as being doomed,look at it as needing someone compatble ;o)

It may be that they aren't sure where they would fit into your life... by all appearances you have it all, and can get whatyou want...there may be that fear that between your looks and career, you don't "need" them for anything, and can easily move on.

But...if a guy is confident, that won't matter. Though you have a great career, its not as though no one can match that. You're not the only female doctor afterall...nor are you the only woman with model looks... There are guys at the same level of success and higher who wouldn't consider you a threat, and guys who don't make as much but have the confidence to not be threatened.

Though you don't want to hear it..if its the same story every time with every guy you meet up with, then there is something about these guys that they have in common that you are drawn to... Take a look also at the type of guys you're attracted to... Maybe step out of the box and take another look at a guy you wouldn't ordinarily go for... I anyway think that by that age, a guy should be more confident with himself than to let something that silly make him bolt... So if he does, Id say consider yourself lucky that he didn't stick around just to mooch off of you.

Better to be with someone who can appreciate what you do, than take it personally. Anyway, no you're not doomed...no more than any other model or doctor out there who manages to be in relationships...

I don't think this should happen but its happening to me as well, guys somehow always seem to need to be the one that is the supporter and makes the most. This guy I really care for thinks I'm too rich, its nauseating but eventually us girls will either have to get over it or find a way to show these guys that our situations with money and jobs shouldnt effect a healthy relationship.