It has been 3 years since my ex and I split up. He was the first man that I had ever loved and trusted in my whole life. He was wonderful to me, treated me like a queen, and made me truly happy for the first time in a very long time. He left me with no explanation, did not even break up with me just left. I didn't hear from him until a year and a half later. Shortly after we split up and I'm talking very shortly about 3 weeks he met another woman, moved her and her children in with him. I heard from him again a year and a half later, he had gotten married and had a baby on the way. In February of this year he called me and we talked. He told me he wished things would have been different, that he messed up when he left. He said that even though he was married and wanted to tell me something that he couldn't tell me over the phone but told me that he still loved me. At that point I cut off all contact with him because it was to hurtful. I've moved on and am now dating a great guy but I can't get my ex boyfriend out of my head or heart. I know we would never be able to be together and I would never even try to come between him and his wife because I am not like that I would not ruin anyone's family. It is just so hard to forget him and how wonderful things were. I'm afraid these memories are going to ruin what I have with my new boyfriend because I can't let go of my exes memories or how I feel about him. I took time for me, I did not date for three years after he and I split. How do you let go of something that made you feel like your feet never touched the ground?
I know it sounds like a really horrible thing to do, but if you can manage to turn that feeling of love for him into hate, then the feeling will eventually go away. That's what I had to do to get over my first love. I had loved her with every bit of my heart and soul and would have done anything for her just to see her happy, even after she dumped me and broke my heart. The only way I was able to get those feelings to go away was to find reasons to hate her. It's a horrible things to do, but it's much easier than living your life with a broken heart.
It" happened when we were 14, and in fact nothing happened, because it wasn't mutual. A few memorable moments, yes, but nothing more, not even a kiss. We were in the same classroom for 4 yrs. A few yard apart only. I declared her my love a few times. (at least one time it was one very romantic) She said "no", smiling, not mocking.
A week later another guy, same class tried to commit suicide (or faked? IDK) Because she had said "no" to him.
I only could put her out of my mind at university, when we didn't see each other no longer each day. Then I started looking after other girls. After University we lost each other,until 3 years ago. Now I still se her every year at class reunions, her daughters have the age of my son., she lives 25 mi from here, we have each others phones and mail: rarely a mail, never a phone call. BTW, she still is a nice and beautiful woman. I've few pics of us together, then and now. She has the same pics. Last time I did see her I said to her "No love any more, but a great tenderness" and we both smiled.
We're both happy with our partners and kids, and it will stay that way. She met my wife, a long time ago, when we were at the university. I did never see her husband. I hope he's good for her. I think he is. I prefer to think he is. I prefer to think she's happy, as happy as I am.
I don't regret our paths crossed. I even don't regret her "no": I've met and married better. Better for me that is. I wouldn't have been the best one for her either.
I regret the 4 years I lost then. The girls I didn't meet then. Not because of her. I didn't want to be seen with another girl because of the ideas I had, that tiny hope I had then. My ideas. Stupid immature adolescent.
well I don't even know if I've ever actually been in love, but I notice that a lot of times when I focus on other things or a new guy comes into my life it's easy to get over a crush/ex-boyfriend
I wonder the same thing myself. I often wonder if I was just in love with the fact he was the only guy in my life that treated me good, it is possible. I have tried focusing on other things; my family, children, starting college, and after 3 years I started dating a new guy in July but oddly enough he just disappeared into thin air. Won't answer my emails, phone calls, or texts. I'm really beginning to think that I am the one with the problem because these guys just up and leave me for no reason. - A month ago
Answerer
My older sister kinda has that same problem, she's dated tons fo guys who hav just dumped her for lik no reason. but there was this guy that she dated and broke up with and now he rly wants her back and even she won't exactly get back together with him, they're still lik rly good friends and he's the first guy whose ever actually rly cared about her. anyways basically what I'm saying is don't stress out, you will find the right guy eventually. - A month ago
The day that he left you he was living a secret life. If you involved yourself in a sexual relationship then you have soul ties... a bond that takes years to unloosen. It is a spiritual connection It takes prayer to get out of... It will not happen over night.
2. When he left, he did not have the decency to come tell you what was going on.
3. Now he is calling you on the phone... Because he is not man enough to be truthful with himself he is ready to run again
History will repeat itself if you do not guard your heart. Guard it with all diligence.
4 He does not deserve your love. He committed to a marriage, but he is quick to leave.
I talked to him on the phone that night before he left then didn't hear from him again until a year or so later. He just disappeared. He has been married about 2 years now. I would never think in a million years to have any kind of relationship with him because he's married and has a child with her. I just can't seem to shake my feelings for him. I've been in a new relationship for over 2 months now and it feels like I can't trust this guy or have feelings for him because of this situation. - 2 months ago
become busier and hang out withfriends. try not to think of him too much. doing things that are fun so your mind is busier. you just have to move on. I found that talking withmy friends helped but also doing stuff I liked to do like going to the gym more or writing helped a lot.
Well I could write a novel, but I will cut to the chase. Would you really want to be with a man that disappears? Would you want to have the father of your children emailing other women. He sounds like a flake to me, sorry, & that there are always greener pastures in his mind. Move on & move on this minute. You are only hurting your chance for future happiness by running those tapes over & over in your head. Sorry to be so blunt, but every day counts in this world.
I think your first true love will always have a place in your heart. Sometimes it's hard for the next person your with to except that. But, your first love was your first, therefore you will always remember them.
My best friend is having a hard time letting go of her first love. It's a long process, but she is slowly moving on. The mistake she is making is she won't cut all contact with him. She tries, but when he calls/texts, she answers him. Continuing to talk while your still hanging on won't allow you to let go. So your making a step in the right direction by not even talking to him at all, especially if he now has a family and a wife.
It's the worse saying in the world, but very true. "Everything happens for a reason". Sometimes we can't see what that reason is yet. But in a few years, you'll look back and realize why this all happened and why it happened the way it did.
Just continue to move on. Surround yourself with people you love and things you love to do. You will eventually move on, I promise :)
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(Age:25 to 29)
When: 3 months ago
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