To keep a long story short, there's a guy whom I was thrown together with over summer for college events. He'd generally like staring at me when he thinks I'm unaware and when we do have eye contact he looks away. He has helped me with things though I've never asked and when we do have conversations he's quite quiet,he answers but doesn't elaborate. He's known to be pretty extroverted and sociable though =/
Anyway, I was told that I'm giving off many disinterested signals. So a few days ago for college club recruitment, I spotted him and went up to talk. He seemed to be rushing somewhere with a club mate, but he stopped.Seemed to be listening pretty well, and standing quite close to me cause I felt myself having to move back.
Anyway, he was holding eye contact..looking into my eyes throughout the conversation and broke it like I think once. And once he suddenly smiled at me. I was smiling, holding it back and talking nicely. When it ended, he hesitated and looked at me a little before walking off. Did I at least show a bit of interest with my actions? What do you guys think?
He is attracted to you, but he is an intelligent 'beta' male. I was a 'natural' at this, but it is difficult for many men to over come that shyness I have always had women practically throw themselves at me, but I place no importance on it, i.e. I don't care. When someone is attempting to make an impressions, it comes off as non-confident with both genders this sort of understanding on the part of REAL women is a desire outcome. You're going to have to take the initiative if you like him.
Hey, intelligent "beta" male.. meaning? so you are saying you are a natural, meaning ur an alpha male? haha. okokim just abit confused. I don't get what you mean by, "When someone is attempting to make an impressions, it comes off as non-confident with both genders this sort of understanding on the part of REAL women is a desire outcome".. mind elaborating? (: - 2 months ago
What is means is he's watched "The Pickup Artist" and read "The Game" too many times and takes it as gospel. If you don't know what they are, Google it. If he was seriously an alpha male he wouldn't need to say "I have always had women practically throw themselves at me, but I place no importance on it, i.e. I don't care" - A month ago
Question Asker
Ok so ur definition of alpha male is someone who doesn't really need girls throwing themselves at him cause he does the chasing anyway does he? haha. well, I kinda find alpha males unattractive in the sense that they pursue a girl without even bothering to find out how she feels abt him. I don't want an alpha male, but a beta male who takes his chances well. :) - A month ago
Sounds like that went really well. You went up to him and made conversation so he knows you have an interest in him, how deep that interest goes he might not know though. If he let out a sudden smile, the chances are he was thinking, wow I can't believe I'm actually talking to her properly =) well done you
Ha, I was thinking it might be a sheepish smile, you know.. thinking of how to reject my offer. well, cause I sounded so ridiculous and he could be exasperated by it and thinking of ways to run off. lol. and I wished him on his birthday on Facebook... hope that helped too. shrugs. we don't see each other much though.. so he might lose his interest =/ idk - 2 months ago
I think that went well. Maybe he will have the motivation to approach you more next time. I myself have the same problem as you. I find it very hard to express my feelings for a guy I like. And he thinks I'm not interested in him, that I'm a cold bitch, lol. I have to change my attitude 180 degrees with him. Now I think I give off a warmer aura, always start conversations first, always smile and act more natural. And thanks to that, he also becomes braver with me. Anyway, what did you do to be labelled as "disinterested"?
Hey thanks(: eh I hope so! considering we don't see each other much anymore, college being what it is ): yeah I think we're in the same boat! I've been havin this problem for ages! Hmm, like whenever he looks at me, I look away, I don't smile, and I ignore him when I see him (im a HUGE culprit of ignoring people I like). my frens say its like I erect a wall ard myself w/ppl I like and I don't express my interest. sadly guys take it literally ): wad exactly do you do which makes him tink ur cold? - 2 months ago
Answerer
Wow, I acted exactly like you lol. I think the problem with us is we feel extremely embarrassed to show them how we feel. We're just very shy. I don't think that problem can be fixed easily. Even now, when I act braver around him, there're still times when he stares at me and I ignore him, just because I can't find the courage to look into his eyes. If I glance at him, I think I will blush like crazy. My friend says that sometimes the way I treat him is so indifferent. - 2 months ago
Answerer
My tip is I always start a conversation with him first. I become more talkative when I'm with him, so that the awkwardness can go away. If you're not in a situation to start a conversation, you should practise to hold eye contact and smile. If it's too embarrassing, you can glance, then look away, then glance back, then he will know you are interested and you like what you see in him. Good luck! - 2 months ago
Question Asker
Yeah I know when I hold conversations its fine but I have realdifficulty holding eye contact =/ anyway I'm feeling kinda low now cause I saw him awhile ago at campus and we were abt to pass each other. just as he was abt to pass me, his fren walking in front of him had to say hi to him. so he turned back to say hi just at the moment I was looking at him and said hello. and I think he didn't hear me or sth. anyways.. it just amounted to us not speaking/looking at each other at all.. - 2 months ago
Question Asker
..and I alw feel like crap when things like this happen cause its really frustrating. each time we see each other, its only for brief moments and cause I'm short sighted I have no idea if he's looking at me or not, and just when you wanna do something the moment is gone. I'm gettin extremely discouraged... ): - 2 months ago
Answerer
Yeah, I know we will regret those moments when we come back home. There are times when people interfere and he and I can't make any signal like saying hi or looking at each other. I feel so sad and insecure, I think that he doesn't like me anymore. And the next time I see him, I shut him out completely. This situation happens many times and he must be thinking that I'm giving mixed signals, I don't like him, etc. So no matter how bad the situation can be, you should keep chanting in your head - 2 months ago
Answerer
Chanting in your head that "He likes me! I believe that he likes me! He deserves to know how I feel. I shouldn't keep him waiting." Thinking like that will make you feel more comfortable and happy around him. - 2 months ago
Question Asker
Yeah now I'm thinking ever since college term started, he doesn't like me anymore! )): and its making me feel quite discouraged and jaded, on top of feeling totally exhausted from sch work =/ and I thikn I REALLY need eye contacts. it'd be damn sh*tty to miss out on his signals just cause I can't see them =/ and anyway that was real awesome advice! thanks:)) do you do that all the time? ;) I always wonder why can't he just say sth to me first, I mean he's not known to be quiet =/ - 2 months ago
Question Asker
He always ignores me when we are like abt to pass each other or when we are upclose. then he will look from a distance. wth?!? - 2 months ago
Answerer
Oh, come on, don't be jaded. I suggest you wear his shoes lol. I was also jaded just like you, and I give myself a psychological treatment by writing in my diary his feelings (act as if I were him). And seeing his point of view like :"Today I saw my crush, I tried to look at her but she didn't even bother to give me a glance. She doesn't like me at all. I should back off and leave her alone." Can you see where his shoes will lead him? The guy I like is very outgoing, let me tell you, and when - 2 months ago
And when he's around me, he's unusually shy. The first month when he expressed his interest, I was shocked (becoz I have liked him for so long) and acted cold. He was really brave, trying to sit next to me, pinching my cheek, lol. But becoz he's sensitive so he misread my coldness as DISINTERESTED. So he backed off, acting just like your crush (look, glance but doesn't talk). Then, I misread him as losing interest in me. Now, I'm fixing that by being warmer. And after many attempts to try to - 2 months ago
By
Answerer
When he's around me, he's unusually shy. The first month he expressed his interest in me, I was shocked (becoz I have secretly liked him for so long) and acted cold. He was acting very brave: trying to sit by me, pinching my cheek, lol. But becoz he's a sensitive guy, he misread my coldness as DISINTERESTED and he backed off just like your crush (look, glance but doesn't talk anymore). I misread his backing off as losing interest in me and I ignored him. Then after wearing his shoes lol, I acted - 2 months ago
By
Answerer
I acted warmer. I tried to talk with him so many times. At first, he was kinda cold because he was also shocked. Then he sobered up and opened up himself. Now we're on a daily talking and teasing basis. So, remember that you guys may be totally misreading each other. Without communication, how can you/he knows what the f*** the other person is thinking and why does he/she acted so cold like that? It can all be a giant misunderstanding standing in your way to happiness. - 2 months ago
By
Question Asker
Haha I was trying to wear his shoes, but can't find any explanation for his behaviour :P he's not known to be VERY outgoing, he has a quiet aura abt him wich is deceiving. but he's not the shy/quiet kind of person either. so its just utterly confusing for me. I just don't know why he won't talk! and I was particularly looking forward to our encounters this week after our conversation last week. sigh. =// you know at least ur guy does all that. haha. this dude just like stands beside or near me and - 2 months ago
By
Answerer
So, first, be confident that he really likes you. He's just shy and scared of approaching you becoz he thinks you doesn't like him (or you didn't show enough interest). Second, be patient, really patient, you may have to try to talk many times, be disappointed many times. But there'll be a day when he understands what you're hinting. Third, always wear his shoes every time you see him. While you're scared to death to look at him, he may be thinking "Oh, come one. Look at me, smile at me just - 2 months ago
By
Question Asker
Does nothing. anyway, after uve been frendly, has he been warming up to u? do guys get scared off by sudden friendliness/interest? - 2 months ago
By
Answerer
Smile at me just one time, please!". The guy I like, as I told you, was shocked to see my sudden interest. It took him about 1 week to readjust lol. And he did open up. He acted like a twin of your crush. He also used to stood by me, just stared at me and said nothing. It was unnerving to be watched like that. But that's a good signal. He wants to be around you. So keep your faith in his interest and shove a ton of signals into his face hehe. - 2 months ago
By
Question Asker
Gosh I really really need to thank you for ur help. u've been really great (: I mean, talking to my gfs isn't even half as good...they tend to confuse the heck out of me. I saw him looking at me from a distance in the canteen earlier td and he walked right past me, guess what..i wanted to say hi..but he just passed and the moment was gone )): I feel like stabbing myself right now. I tend to feel like crap after I missed an opportunity. I mean...what if he starts liking me less cause of all these.. - 2 months ago
By
Question Asker
Missed opportunities? what if I never get another opportunity like it again (plus he was alone). I don't know.. do you panic when this happens to u? and btw, are you guys officially together right now, if you don't mind my asking? (: haha I just don't unds how an outgoing guy can be so quiet ard me seriously. - 2 months ago
By
Answerer
It depends on which type of guy he is. For my crush, he has secretly liked me for 3 years. I also secretly like him. But we assume that the other person doesn't like us back so we never show any signal. He and I are also college classmates. You see, I didn't show any signal and he still likes me for 3 years until now. Hopefully your guy is the same type. But I think the more he sees your face everyday, the harder it will be for him to forget his crush on you. In my case, my crush sees me - 2 months ago
By
Answerer
Sees me everyday so maybe that's what keeps him interested in me for a long time. And of course I get panic when I passed an opportunity like you, all the insecurity thing, etc. But I always look forward to the next time I see him: try to dress up, and at least exchange eye contact with him. So don't be let down. About the bipolar outgoing-but-shy personality, there's nothing weird with it. I'm also that type of person. I guess he's just a private person, outgoing about things that don't reveal - 2 months ago
By
Answerer
Reveal him much but very cautious about his feelings, cautious to let his guard down. Why you and I are shy is maybe we're scared to get hurt (again) and scared to let our guard down, scared to let people in our mind. My crush and I are not together. We're still taking baby steps. Anyway, today my face has a really ugly acne and he still walks by me and talks lol. So you should look forward to the next time you see him. Don't be pessimistic. I'm very glad to help someone in the same situation - 2 months ago
By
Answerer
As mine. I'm painfully shy and dense. He tried to shove so many signals in my face in three years. But I was so stubborn and cynical that I denied them all. I think he just treated me as a good friend. I think my miscommunication with him is like the misunderstanding in Pride and Prejudice and Twilight. I have wasted so much time to be with him. And I really wish you won't relive those wasteful moments in the novels. - 2 months ago
Thanksgiving is right around the corner and just like the last year and the year before, you will most likely spend it with your family. And just like everyone else, you have a crazy uncle or an...
$20 Amazon Gift Card
Check out the winner of the last contest! Worst Pick Up Lines
Winner received $20 Amazon Gift Card
I recently came out of a complicated relationship and I'm back on the dating field again. Two weeks ago a friend of mine met a guy that she considered to be an "excellent match", so she agreed to...
I have a little frustration and anger towards social pressures put on all of us to pick a certain type of guy/girl. We go out with someone that does not fit this ideal and we nervously glance around...
Disclaimer: GirlsAskGuys cannot guarantee the accuracy of answers, opinions and advice submitted by members. Please use common sense when following or omitting any content on GirlsAskGuys.com
(Age:18 to 24)
When: 2 months ago
$20 Amazon Gift Card
Site Links
About GirlsAskGuys
GirlsAskGuys Widgets
Help Us Improve!
