First off, I'm new to the dating scene after a divorce . And by new, I mean the last time I was dating, I was 16 . For serious .
To the question . I've been kind of seeing someone for a few months now . Not serious, just casual . We talk on the phone/text a lot, but he lives 3 hours away which makes it hard to see each other that often . But he's come and spent the weekend a few times . Anyway, he pursued me really hard initially, but since then I'm the one who does most of the initiation . I've said that to him in not so many words and he laughs and says that he's like that with everybody - his family and all his friends . It bugs me . But maybe I'm doing it to myself . Would it be better if I didn't make myself so readily available to this guy ? In the past, if I didn't answer his calls when he thought I would, he'd get what sounded a little freaked out as to why . I mean, not jealous just more perplexed . Is it better to keep guys guessing like that ? I thought I'd never want to play games, but it seems as though it's part of the process .
Play too many games and since your relationship is casual he may - plan to see you - find out he can't(perhaps 2 or 3 times in a row) - say screw it, I'm going out by myself then - then end up in another womans bed
Its your call - I think its so pointless when woman refuse to commit - then start playing games about their availability - then get mad when the man they are really interested in starts seeing someone else - too much of life is a game - relationships are about trust and knowing the other person is there for them .
I don't know why people play these games, all is does it hurt the game player in the long run - any smart guy is not going to waste his opportunity cost and will move on - or at least do something with his time - by playing games like this, all you end up with is the mundane - any exceptional person knows their worth and will move on .
Believe me, I want to answer every time this guys calls . I don't want to play games . I just wanted to see if by answering every time he calls, I was making myself look desperate . Don't get me wrong, he either answers every time I call or calls me right back and we talk for hours, but he's usually not the one doing the initiating . I really like this guy and don't want to screw it up by looking over-eager . Does that make sense ? - 8 months ago
Answerer
I don't understand how showing your interest is bad from a guys perspective - the only thing that's annoying is when a girl calls several times every day and won't get off the phone and has little to say. - 8 months ago
Yes, everything is a game . Never make yourself readily available to a guy unless that is what you want him to get used to . Take things slow, he really may be a slow moving guy . But, if he is really interested , he will initiate something .
If your boyfriend has been messing up lately and you think its because he feels like he already has you so he doesn't have to try, would it help if...
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