Guys: would it bother you if you were on a date and the girl didn't let you pay for her?

I've always been under the impression that the convention is whoever asks pays unless it's decided to go dutch before hand. If the guy asks the girl out and then when the check comes the girl insists strongly on paying her part, then to me at least it gives the impression that she isn't interested in him and is trying to make that clear.

Now if the girl offers and the guy says he has it and she backs off, that is different. That is just showing that she is willing to pay her part and doesn't need him to which shows independence and is attractive.

lol.. ivarei, get this:

Before this past millennium, women haven't always had the money to afford food for themselves. It was therefore more of a responsibility for men to provide the food, shelter..basic essentials. After the second world war, women had already shown that they were capable of taking on the responsibilities and jobs of men, therefore giving them much more money to afford the essentials themselves.
These days women have gained equal labor rights, and just as any other teenager boy, teenager girls can now, too, start working at McDonalds and pay for their own cars, gas, and dates.

Now that we're more equally capable of paying for our dinner, I'd say it is not necessary for men to pay for their dates, but men still have this "idea" that it's their responsibility..like women are now doing men a favor by giving them the chance to date you.

I have no idea why we some men still have this set idea, but it may have been outdated information passed on from great grandma & grandpa, dating magazine hype, golddiggers, and other confused men who are dating golddiggers.


I think it's a good idea to take the lead and decide before any date who is paying what beforehand. If they insist on paying for your dinner, maybe say that you'll pay for dessert!
I have one other theory..We've been told countless times to act chivalrous in front of a lady, so if you say you'll pay, they might think that you're testing them, thus, they insist.

You're the boss!

Diamond Smith

No. Please let us pay. Please.

helz to the nah!

We HAVE to pay, because that's what's expected of us. I would not mind at ALL if a girl wanted to pay for her half. But we have to say "no, I asked you out, not the other way around, I should pay", etc. You have to INSIST.

First dates - the man should pay. After that, it's ok for her to pay half of the time.

Old fashion here, but I just can't stand the idea of having a girl pay. Especially on a first date. Until we have some history and we talk about it, then yeah I don't mind if she pays a few times. It's not a macho thing, it's more of a gesture that I simply feel accustomed to.

well ima guy and I would say it would bother me because I've actually been in that predicament but if you just explain to him that you just feel bad about having him pay and that the reason isn't because you don't like him or whatever you should be fine. hope I helped

I'm an old-fashioned guy, but whenever a girl good-naturedly insists on paying her own way and generally stands on her own feet, I can't help but be left with a positive impression of her. Girls like that are steady.

Don't feel like a nuisance. If the guy really likes you he'll enjoy doing it. If you don't value yourself enough to appreciate good treatment, why would a guy treat you the way you deserve? It's not that serious, it's not like you're asking the guy to slay dragons, it's a customary dating process. If you don't do that then basically you might as well just be FWB and let him treat you any kind of way

Typically especially in the early stages of getting to know someone, whoever does the asking pays. Usually it's the man. You shouldnt feel burdened if he asks you out. Some guys may feel insulted since you're not letting them be the man.