Why am I single all the time?

Independence is the sexiest thing I find in a girl. If she is independent and I know she is not relying on me all the time to do things and can complete tasks for herself, then that not only shows that she has a good head on her shoulders, but also that there is equality in the relationship. Be yourself, be independent. Don't make yourself too available - play hard to get... again, another turn on. I LOVE a woman who plays hard to get -- makes the chase so much more thrilling.

By the way, it's not all about looks - 60% is about looks, 40% is about personality. You -will- find a man out there for ya, hun - just give it time... believe me.

what I think the reason is, is because most guys wanna date the girls tht are popular and that are sluts

Most guys know, instinctively, what good girls are like. Just like girls instinctively know what good guys are like.

See if these links inspire you to clairfy, and get, the relationship you want?

1. link 2. link

Virginity -- do you guys consider it a plus/minus? link

A real story directly related to virginity. Safe to say no guy would want to be in his situation, ever. :) >>> link

Don't be so troubled over it. Do you actually have a relationship with the God that you 'go to church' over? If so, then you should know he has the right person for you, and he is going to direct that person in your life at the right time. You don't need a boyfriend, you need a soul mate. So stop freaking out over it and focus on understanding yourself so you can properly develop into a person that would compliment your ideal man.

Men may also just stay away if you exude the vibe of wanting a boyfriend. That usually signals for clingy, and men hate that. Best thing for you to do is stop trying to flirt, and focus on making a good set of male friends.


-Count D.

Are you attractive? One good way of putting it is how much do you weigh? Most men don't like women who weigh as much as they do, same as most attractive women don't look twice at men who weigh less than they do. (The derogatory terms are typically hambeasts and dorks.) So if neither applies to you, have you tried dating sites such as craigslist, okcupid, eharmony, etc.?

First, I suggest you realize that many men may be perfect matches but want to know if you're interested first. I'm one of those guys who is content to sit back and watch- if a girl expresses interest I'll certainly reciprocate in kind, but I wait for her to make the first move.

I'm a big proponent of online stuff- one thing first, before meeting anyone, ask for contact info and make sure it's valid. (Call before he shows, etc.) If it's not legit, neither is he, and clear out. Good luck and happy hunting!

Well if you REALLY are like that no respectable man would feel worthy to ask you out lol. The beautiful, smart, and kind girls are the ones that guys automatically picture as being to hard to get... You don't have to say "let's be boyfriend/girlfriend", but you DO have to give him signals that you really like him. Talk to him for starters. Most guys will open up when spoken to and THEN they will think that maybe they have a chance. You have to look at it like this. I have never asked one of the girls like you out, because I have a 3.3 GPA, lower class income, a diastase, AND I'm nowhere near the amount of success that I see them perform. Now why would a girl with a 4.3 GPA, upper class income, perfect straight teeth, and a huge amount of success want anything to do with me. Despite that I'm going to college under biochemistry, the most easy person to get along with, caring, loving, would be the best dad in the world (8 years of giving my baby sisters and brothers diaper changes, feeding them formula in the middle of the night, and teaching them how to do pretty much everything.), very romantic, and would never cheat. Now think about it is that really even enough? because I still don't feel like I'm good enough.

NEVER rely on a man to come up to you and start conversing, you could lose your chance at prince charming that way. You are beautiful however you look. I can't think why men wouldn't approach you ever though, perhaps you have just been unlucky? Either way remember that just because you have a boyfriend doesn't mean that your happy. Always remember that YOU are YOU and if a guy isn't attracted at one time or another then perhaps that guy isn't meant to be with you. Personally, I like a girl with a good friendly personality and nice eyes, but that's just me. I am certain that the man of your dreams is out there and just waiting for you.

LOL.. Don't always rely on the guy or anyone in particular to always approach you.. Especially in this day and age. No offense but you sound like a conceited old fashioned girl.

You kind of answered your own question...

If you're not giving any clues to a guy to make a move on you (or perhaps you might just be unapproachable in looks or personality), then that could be it.

If you want a guy.. You have to realize that.. YOU have to initiate some sort of move on him at one point in your life..

Don't expect guys to be coming at your feet and bowing down at you. That will never happen.

Girl you sound like a full options girl “dream girl” maybe that’s why guys are not close to you they thing that you are difficult or hard to get :) if you look so sexy keep it down a pit don’t ask a guy out directly, l will tell you an old fashion thing , if you have a friend you like and you wanna go out with just do something bad to him “not very bad “ and then try to fix it by offering a drink or something like that :) , it worked with me “on one girl not guy :)” it might end with relation who knows T.C

you are good girls that's problem , being good is like being stupid , think more on yourself than others , I used to be like you when I was 12 years old , stop being good, good is weakness, think more on yourself that's key of happieness ,

"I do believe that the guy should ask the girl out is how it should be"

This is the 21st century. You need to become a modern woman to snag a man in the modern world.

You are single all the time bcoz you lack some of these features:-
1: Smartness,
2: Truthfulness,
3: Beauty,
4: Style and
5: Courage to ask guys out for a date.

Dear I to single till now don't know why so...as you are sweet dear I am sure "There is someone at somewhere waiting for you and you will meet him at right point of time".

"I do believe that the guy should ask the girl out is how it should be"
There's your problem.

It sounds to me like you don't even NEED a boyfriend right now. You've got the whole confidence thang down pat, so why chase after a guy when you can let them chase after you ;)

But if you really insist on getting a boyfriend, all I can tell you is don't play mind games (I'm not saying to just come right out and ask him; get to know him first). Most of the guys I know don't play play mind games with the girl they're interested in but it has been in my experience and observations that girls love doing this to guys (I'm not saying only girls do this, just the majority of girls I've encountered). Guys are just as self conscious as girls and when a girl leads on a guy, there's no telling what that guy will do. If your interested in a guy, make time for him/ if not than let him know straight out so he doesn't waste his time when he could be looking somewhere else.

wut I look fer in a gurl: she has to be beautiful---inside and out (at least to me).

Hey, I think I found your problem, see below:
"I do believe that the guy should ask the girl out is how it should be"
It's not that a guy asking a girl out is wrong, but thinking that it MUST be that way is sad, backwards and shameful. Are you a shamed of yourself? You ought to be.

its funny reading these things and every girl I talked to has a boyfriend. its so weird obvisousally you jus got a bunch of church boys jerkin it all night to the thought of ur chest moving while you walk.. m,aybe you should should be cool with em... then theyll start flirting and maybe you'll get some ass

I look for a church going girl, but you know.. I can't exactly start a convo during mass. The girl would think "this guy is just here to pick up girls." Get my drift? :(

Donche speaks the truth, especially about presenting yourself and challenging the opposite sex to measure up to your standards, instead of the other way around.

Where do you live? lol. You sound like a great girl to me,

I'm kinda similar, a good looking guy, go to church (when I get up in time. haha), great with little kids, would NEVER cheat on someone. I'm not one of those man-whores that wants to sleep with every girl in sight... That's not me, not at all... And what do you know, I don't have a GF, have never had one. I've tried before too, but haven't been successful in even landing a date.

Maybe its the guys at this age... 18-24. They sense something different about you. People at this age are looking for nothing but a good time. A lot of guys just want casual sex too, and they sense that you probably wouldn't give in to that.

Idk, you sound like an amazing girl. Just give it time, the right guy WILL come along.

I think donche has the right idea...

though if I had to add anything maybe your going after the wrong type of guy or sending the wrong message, you say you go to church...for some guys...thats an INSTANT "waiting till marriage card" which while they may not be sex crazed perverts they would like some kind of sexual contact before marriage...(though that doesn't mean don't go to church)
it could also label you as a religious fanatic...when socializing with someone especially first impressions...religion and politics are a no-no... they show you as "bible thumper" or "political activist" and that drives many people away...i myself am simply turned off by any kind of fanatisizm...so what a girl says "have you found the lord" as her pick up line...i turn and walk away...

thats not to say religion is a bad thing, its just not flirting material...save it till later

also if you try flirting on guys in your church community many of them as a way of staving off sex until marriage simply don't date.

another reason could be as was said previously you could be the type of girl who looks TOO datable, as in you MUST already be in a relationship. and if your not most guys think they have no shot...try being a bit more forward with your hints, but also don't look desperate, just try and let the guy know your looking at him and he should look back if he wants you

People who are single all the time are single because they need to change their mindset. You are looking for a boyfriend, and whether you realize it or not, a little bit of desperation always comes through. You are putting too much pressure on any guy you're interested in, and not giving him room to make the choice to be with you. Seriously, when you focus on simply having fun, and not caring about the outcome of things, you will start to see much success. There are a lot of other things you can do to increase your chances, like maybe try some social proofing (look that up, it's golden). Too many people fall back on the whole "why can't I just be myself and be honest and open" when sometimes it just doesn't work that way, not right off the bat. Then you run into the whole "I don't want to play games" bit, but it's not a game. It's marketing. Attracting the opposite sex is not as easy as "I like you, do you like me?" You have to present yourself in the best way possible, because in a sense, you are selling yourself. You are the product, and in order to attract, you can't just put the product out and hope someone buys it. Would you be interested in something if a salesman said, "Hey. Look at this thing. Do you want to buy it? It's pretty cool." No. Alternatively, if another salesman had the same product, and you saw a bunch of people lined up to get it, and the salesman was like, "Mmm...I only have a limited amount of these...put your name on this list and I'll be in touch." You're going to want that product more. It's not a game. It's smart. It's increasing your odds. So if you want a boyfriend, you have to change your marketing style. Stop saying, "hey, here I am, here's all my qualities, here's why you should pick me," because that screams of supplication. Instead, start saying, "Hey, why should I pick you? What are YOUR qualities?"

i look for a girl like you lol
its probably because guys are intiimidated by you or already assume you have a boyfriend because you have it all... maybe you should flirt more (but not like a slut lol) but give easy signals guys you like would understand

WOW ! I am sure many boys will always want you to be their girlfriend. Everything seems fine. What else will anyone want. Either the boys who like you are intimidated that you will reject them, or they are shy. Why don't you hint that you like him so that he will ask you out ? How old are you anyway ?

Well start going out with people. Ask your friends if they know any guys to hook you up with because that's probably one of the most common ways of meeting a guy or girl, through friends.

single&&sexayy.. I'm a girl but I'm giving you my two sense..my guy when I ask him why he loves me and all the other guys I've dated they say the same thing .independent .sexy.flirty.nice.a little on the edge and most of all when I got with them yu could tell I liked and I hung around him a lot so get acquainted and try love notes your friends dropping the hint hell Google it ! Cosmo is always there for you yu sound gorgeous so put your self out there!

oh and I agree girls should never have to ask a guy out. I even believe that girls should never have to make the first move. or asking for a guy's number... no way! (at least I would never do that)

i have the same problem. I only get one night stands :( many people ask me why I don't have a boyfriend because I'm pretty and smart and stuff but the thing is I'm very picky and don't really trust guys lol maybe that's ur problem too? because you said you don't have a problem attracting guys? or ur afraid of relationships?

Wow I feel the same way sometimes...I am smart, funny, kind, pretty, work out, am going to college, would never cheat, and go to church but I don't have a boyfriend. I can flirt but I feel like for me to know the guy likes me and is interested he should ask me out. But I feel like I shoud l just let him know that I like him but I get shy...sometimes I think I should wait for that someone to come to me because maybe its not meant for me to have a boyfriend right now but I know I couldn't wait around forever because I could miss my chance at finding a really great guy...so my advice is when you find someone your interested in dating then just go for it.

maybe your conceited?
too heavy?

I'm in the same category-I'm single a lot of guys are attracted physically to me but just a few ask me out and that makes me sort of sad and it hurts because I've only had relationships where the guy either cheated on me or dumped me-so even though I'm "hot", I still feel sometimes it might be the wrong time or place. I go to church, I go to university, I do so much with my life but I find only a very small percentage of guys pay attention to these characteristics-I really dont' know sometimes

Hi I have exatly the same probably, but I think mines just down to bad luck

a lot of it is just "bad luck" or bad timing...lots of very amazing women go through long periods being single simply because they aren't in the right place at the right time.

If you're tired of waiting, put yourself where you will be found. Be bolder, maybe do the asking once in awhile.

You're not going to be single all your days: it's just a matter of time.

Don't think about having to have a boyfriend. Honestly Men are not everything. You shouldn't rely on a man to make you feel important, happy or worth anything. You should already feel that way about yourself! Don't focus on men, don't focus on having to be taken. Just enjoy your life. meet new people. flirt harmlessly, and know you are worth only the best. In the right time, you will meet him. If you settle for a looser just to have a boyfriend, the one you should of been with will just carry on with his life. Your time will come, and you will be thankful that you waited rather than going for any guy. It saves a ton of heartache as well.

i think guys think that you will say no to them . some guys even if they are cute they tend to be shy. and most of the time girls have to give them hints ask queations like if he would date you but make it seem as you are playing around and he will get the hint that you are really intrested in him. it works for me.

why are you single all the time?

because you still have A LOT of interior renovating to do!

it sounds like you're not comfortable enough with yourself yet, and that's causing you to fall into the dating trap of sitting back and waiting for some stranger to come into your life and just do all the work, to put their dignity, ego and pride out on the line, while you put nothing out on the line, just to make you feel better about yourself.

i know I'm being a little less tacic than I'd like to be, but that's exactly what it sounds like

a few words on your desperate theory..

people who think they're acting or behaving "too desperate" and "that's why" they must be single, are more often than not, single and lonely for the exact opposite reason. think about it. if you're "thinking" about stuff like "do I come off as too desperate?" or "does/will that make(s) me seem desperate?", then that's means you're consciously "thinking" about it, and more likely than not, trying to "compensate" for how you think. if you're "thinking" about all that, then you're mentally and physically involved in the process of "TRYING" to "NOT SEEM DESPERATE". in your quest to not come off as desperate or easy, you succeed with flying colors, and if you don't believe me, your single status and loneliness are proof. if people see you as more interested in "NOT SEEMING DESPERATE" than just being yourself and openly interacting with people, doing and saying exactly what you want to without first mentally checking "but will he think" or "is this too desperate/etc", then you're going to get very different results

a word on guys..

guys are either smart or stupid. the stupid ones will honestly just think that you're not interested in them, and they just won't bother with you. the smart ones will read exactly how desperate you are, because they know that the more a person consciously TRIES to act or behave in ways so they "DON'T SEEM DESPERATE", are the most lonely and vulnerable. that means those are the bulk of the guys that will actually continue interacting with you despite what appears as you having no interest in them

"I do believe that the guy should ask the girl out is how it should be"

my fiance' broke the ice when we first met, but I was nervous and acted stupid and it came off as me not being interested in him. I could've been immature and just expected him to just try again. but I realized he's human, with feelings, what I unintentionally hurt. so I contacted him, and 3 years later, we're engaged.

there's nothing wrong with beliefs, up until they become fanatic. be adaptive, fair and flexible; not ridgid. guys have feelings too. and the thing they fear most is rejection. if ur not showing interest, he'll just think that you're "not" interested, and he'll move on. show interest! be obvious! several times! and maybe, just maybe, he might notive a sign or two, feel reassured that ur also interested, and then feel comfortable enough to take charge.

wow I don't know why the guys are being so harsh. I'm sure you have a beautiful body, they come in all sizes and I'm glad you feel good about yourself. I would caution against thinking things have to be a certain way. relationships happen in many ways, some with neither party having to initiate an actual date. its ok to have romantic notions but you're going to miss some good opportunities if you think things have to line up with that image. I was a dedicated Christian girl and had spent most of my life being extremely shy but when I got tired of waiting for guys to ask me out, I asked them out. I never regretted it.

Size has nothing to do with it. I'm full-figured and have found that guys love my body. As long as you accept yourself, other men will pick up on that and do the same.

However, what are you doing to help find yourself a man? Yes, I agree the man should generally be the aggressor, but you have to help him out. Let him know you're interested, give him compliments, some slight teasing (as a flirtation device). Make him laugh. Let him know you're real. Be the person you'd want to date.

Are you putting yourself in situations where you meet lots of single and dateable people? I know that church is supposed to be the place to find people, but whenever I go, I see a whole lot of couples. That doesn't help. Do group stuff, have people over. Have girls bring single guy friends. It's all about networking. Try new things, go new places. You'll never meet new guys if you do the same things over and over.

And remember, you're fabulous the way you are. Just because you're single now doesn't mean that you're always going to be single. I was single for 2 years (full of lots of dead ends and heartache) but found an AMAZING guy afterwards. It's all about having faith, right? :)

You sound like a sweetheart and would make a great girlfriend. I think you need to believe in your heart that you are a truly wonderful person and be confident. Confidence is the sexiest quality that men find in woman over anything else. It is what makes women the most attractive and everything else secondary. Flirt more, go out more, be friendly and you may even need to make the first move once in a while. Overall have fun!

I just realized how easy it is to ask a recently met guy, one of my friends taught me. I used to have the belief that guys should make the effort but actually guys are a bit scared when it comes to girls they like.

"I think you're cute and we should hang out" attach this into a message or email or maybe a phone convo and see where it goes :)

take it upon yourself to approach guys, they get just as nervous as we do when we approach someone whom we are attracted to. you don't have to come on strong to begin with just get to know them and then see where it leads.

I honestly think you are so desperate to get a boyfriend, you're seeking more having it, than truly liking someone. Don't be so urged to find someone cause when he comes, it'll be worth it.

If you think the guy should ask the girl out, are you actually putting effort into it, or do you expect a guy to just come up to you? It doesn't matter how much potential you have if you're not putting yourself out there. You have to give a guy some kind of indication that you're interested.

I agree with Donche. I know it is hard to pretend we don't want a boyfriend when we do, but if signs of over-eagerness come through when you are flirting and meeting guys, the pressure they will feel will overcome any desire they have to spend more time with you. Also you sound really nice and that coupled with wanting a boyfriend can turn us into looking like boring little doormats. Example, agreeing with everything a guy says, not saying anything a little off, or funny for fear of offending him. People in general like a little spunk in their partner. So be careful you are not coming off saccharine.

Another reality is that as much as we want to think that all people are looking for partners with great qualities, the truth is that often we are looking for partners that mimic some caregiver from our past, like a parent, and sometimes we had bad relationships with that person, but we feel comfortable around someone like that. None of this is a logical decision that we make consciously but you certainly have seen couples that are ill suited for each other, or a nice person who stays with an abuser, or a jerk, or an alcoholic, etc. So, sometimes, people are actually, without realizing it, looking for a person they feel comfortable around.

So, anyways, there is someone, in fact I am sure there are several someone's who are looking for exactly what you have to offer but you need to take it easy and try to find ways to get out there and have fun and forget about finding a boyfriend, and then I have no doubt he will find you.

are you trying too hard? Sometimes it comes off as desperate. Spread your circle of friends. Maybe there are just no good prospects in your group of friends anymore