I've been dating this guy for about a month now and things are great. We see each other about twice a week and I've met his friends. I secretly found out he's on an online dating website and is active on the site. I'm so distraught. Should I just let him bring up the topic of being boyfriend/girlfriend or should I? He doesn't know that I know he's online.
When my girlfriend of 2 years and I met, I had accounts all over the place. I mean, you never know where you'll find someone fantastic.
After a couple months of dating we decided on the whole boyfriend/girlfriend thing. It was still a few months after that where I felt comfortable enough to deactivate my accounts everywhere and really commit to the relationship.
I think the timing for different guys may be different. I don't know if 3 months would be a standard or not, but it took me longer than that. My girlfriend never brought it up, but I'm sure she worried about it as you are now.
Just say it straight up, best way to say like I want you to cancel all them accounts. It shows you love them a lot that there's no easy way of saying it.
A month isn't that long ( I know it can feel like it I have been there myself) but relax a bit you need to have the exclusive talk first. When you both agree to not see other people then the point of being on a matching site makes no sense unless he didn't mean it when he said "exclusive".
Asking to be exclusive after 4 weeks will often scare a guy off so relax and see what kind of relationship you can build first.
I would let him bring up being boyfriend/girlfriend and let HIM deactivate his accounts when he wants to. It is wonderful that things are going great for you and him, but it has only been a month. Give it more time and let him become more comfortable in your relationship. When he feels like it is a serious relationship, he will delete his accounts (hopefully). If he doesn't delete them after you have been dating for maybe 3 months, then I would get worried. If you approach him about it NOW, you run the risk of pushing him too far too fast and he will break it off. You will appear clingy and needy if you push him to do it now, before anything is certain in your relationship.
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(Age:25 to 29)
When: A month ago
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