I've been knowing a guy over 10 years, but we just recently started talking about 3 months ago. I have some of the best conversations with him. We can talk about anything work, school, finance, politics. I mean we spent a lot of phone time and we would talk for hours at a time. Well whenever he kept asking to hang out. At first I stood him up a couple of times and then I gave in. After a few dates we ended up having sex (the best I've had in a while) I mean everything about him from the conversation to the sex I'm pleased with. We've had sex around 4 times now because sometimes he just picks me up and we ride around talking. He claims he just like to be in my company. Well a few days ago while talking he blurts out that he loves me. I don't use these words unless I mean them so my reaction was WHAT!. He is 33 years old and I'm not sure if this is something he says or if he really feels this way. How can I tell the difference?
I think the whole love thing is a lot more subjective than most people think. Everybody has these different thoughts on what love is. Is love like on the chick flicks where somebody has to write you everyday for a year and is the only person in the world who could make you happy? Is it when you like somebody a lot and at the moment think you want to be with them forever? It obviously depends on what you think love actually IS. Personally I think guys either tell you they love you to have sex with you or because they actually believe they do. So almost definitely this guy THINKS he is in love with you. Most likely intentions are pure, but of course, really what's the difference between love and infatuation? The line is really fuzzy, there's really no test to find out.
But from what it sounds like, he has probably had some sort of crush on you for a long time, maybe even the entire time he's known you, and so with you dating him and having sex with him he's only too ready to believe that he's in love. I think love is something that takes time and working up to, so you might not want to rush into using the L-word on each other. If it really is something that's going to work out and turn into that, then there'll be plenty of time to get to that, don't you think? Just my thoughts on it, not trying to pretend I am any sort of expert of course.
Okay, from my experiences, men don't use the "L" word unless they mean it or they want sex. In your case, you already had sex, so he may be starry eyed over you.
If you are not on that level with him yet, let him know that while you are fond of him as well you still need time to see if you love him too.
Be patient and see what happens. Good luck sweets!
You are at a dinner with her, have just walked into an interview or are at a first date with the best looking guy and there, your top two shirt buttons have snapped, or the pants you were wearing...
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Last year, I received a forwarded email that asked a group of little kids to define “love”. The responses were quite phenomenal. A four-year-old boy said, “When someone loves you, the way they say...
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(Age:25 to 29)
When: More than a year ago
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