My best friend Jake and I have known each other for yrs. A little over a year ago he asked me out and I said I just wanted to stay friends (luv him to death jus don't see us together) and he got really depressed and ended up in the hospital 2days later from overdosing on random pills. (he doesn't do pills anymore), So about a month ago I went to see him, he has been in a relationship for a year now, and I really hit it off with his super cute room mate. I don't know if it would be too much to try and date the roomate because I don't want Jake to see us and get upset. I have been told to do what I need to for myself and go for it, but I just don't know.
In my opinion, this hits a little too close to home. If you were to go out with his roommate, I can promise you that the initial awkwardness of going to Jake's apartment to hang out with his roommate instead of him will put a strain on your relationship and if he doesn't still have feelings for you, the "Why wasn't I good enough and this guy is?" question has a huge possibility of creeping into his mind. This could not only affect your friendship, but also his current relationship. Unless the attraction between you and Jake's roommate is so strong and intense that you can't ignore it, I would say don't act on it.
If you do choose to act on it, you need to speak with Jake first. Best friends means you should be able to openly and honestly speak about issues like this. But guys are full of pride, and he may not want to admit he has these feelings. Even talking to him about dating his roommate could make old feelings come back to the surface. I don't know Jake so I can't guess what his reaction might be, but if you care for him you have to ask yourself this question... Is this guy worth losing Jake?
dam that other dude needs to chill the f*** out! i wouldn't try to get with him I was you because chances are that jake still has feelings for you even if he won't admit it... unless you "love" his roommate (which I seriously doubt =P) then I would look for someone else
I am not a selfish bitch. I was asking for advice. I have not done anything. I do not plan on hurting anyones feeling so you need to watch what you say. asshole. Desires? You know nothing about me. - 23 days ago
Answerer
I stand behind what I said, because what your thinking of doing WAS DONE TO ME! not only did she reject me, she patronized me, all the while she was breaking my heart right in front of my eyes with every kiss she gave my best friend. HE WILL HATE YOU in the end. I still hate the bitch who took my heart and stomped on it. and I'll curse her name till I die. I was once a sweet nice shy guy, but now I hate all women. - 23 days ago
Question Asker
You sound like someone who was hurt by a dumb bitch. I have never done this to someone, I don't plan on doing it. I recieved advice from other people and I was asking what you guys thought.. You did not have to cal me a bitch to get your point across. I understand where you are coming from. P.s I would NEVER show it off in his face like your ex did. that is evil and I am not...I don't even date. I have not for 3yrs. I am deleting my account because your mean. have a great life and don't hate all women - 23 days ago
You really need to move on from this heartbreak because being so bitter is not an attractive quality in a human being. And projecting your problems onto other people in such a confrontational way is not a help to anyone at all. She wanted advice not abuse. She hasn't even done anything yet. You need to build a bridge and get over your issues. - 23 days ago
His room mate didn't even ask you out! Why hit on him? It's not like there is no one else but his room mate! There is plenty of men out there, go find one instead of fooling around with your BFF's heart! My advice is : LEAVE IT !
I just don't have any interest in dating my friends. but I would be there for him if he's depressed. I've been there. I recomend counselling/ therapy. if someone walks out on me and just say "you should get counselling/ therapy " and they aren't there, I'd think they're jerks. Then don't let Jake see you two together. he's in a dark period right now so.
If Jake is your best friend then you should be able to talk to him about it and see what he thinks. If he is cool with it then go ahead! If not then you need to respect that. But if you and Jake are as close as you say you are then discussing this should not be a problem. Besides he has someone now, you're allowed to have someone as well. :)
I think the ensuing drama could not only not be worth it but also ruin any chances of you and the roomie having the peace and quiet needed to get to know each other and date. If the roommate has not asked you out, well I would not pursue it.
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When: 23 days ago
When: 23 days ago
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