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lil_luv21

The final word?

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lil_luv21 (Age:Under 18)     When: 22 days ago
Views: 62     Category: Dating

So very recently my boyfriend and I had argued about me having sex with him. I'm not ready and told him that. Halloween My friends and I are going as playmates and one guy who is Hugh Heffner. It's a tradition at my school and has been for years...He's like being a total jerk saying I can't go, if I do we break up...the fact being he was cool with it until I said no sex! Now he's saying that if he can't have sex with me then he's gonna find some one else to do it with. Ironic enough he's suppose to be a virgin, but he's talking like a sex addict! I'm to the point of breaking up with him. But every time we go to have the "talk" he swears that he's gonna change, and at first he does, until we argue about the next thing. I really love him, but I'm done with the fighting. Do I try to set him straight and fix our relationship, if so what do you recommend. Or do I open the door and show him the way out?


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From Girls  
3
 

Best Answer

Tamikaze
2860  
Tamikaze      When: 22 days ago
You are both young. At your age and well into your 20's guys and gals can have a funny idea that you can pressure or coerce someone into having sex. Whether it is having sex for the first time, or one person wanting it more frequently than the other, well it comes up. He's frustrated and he mistakenly believes he can do things like pressure you or threaten you.

The absolute best thing you can do is to sit down with him or over the phone (phone call, not texting) calmly tell him you really like him but if he wants sex now, you are not the girl for him and you understand if the two of you should break up. See what he says. If he tries to start arguing with you, let him go on and on without interrupting him. Once he is done, tell him again you understand but this isn't working for you either and then break up with him. Operating from calmness instead of emotions can be hard but man it really gets a message across when someone can do it.
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What Guys Said

 
Anonymous User
N/A  
Anonymous User      When: 22 days ago
Well I'm 16. I think its wrong and disrespectful to take advantage of a girl or pressure her in to having sex if she doesn't want it. When a girl says "No" she really means it. In my experiences I've told girls when we got on the subject that if you want to don't want to do that stuff its ok and I respect their decision. Cause most of the guys I know tend to just text the girl asking for nudies or asking girls to blow them. Its completely retarded and the girls end up leaving them.
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Anonymous User
N/A  
Anonymous User      When: 22 days ago
Lol , isn't it obvious what he actually cares about?

It isn't you as a whole, but you as an object. Boys your age are NOT there for you to fill your other half. 99% of them simply want to put their prepubescent penis inside your lady hole. Sure they will be nice and act all boyfriendish, until the time comes where they just want to have sex with you and they bring it up. They use it as an ultimatum in order to push you into it.

They are COERCING you into having sex by FUCKING with your feelings and what you believe in. You say you aren't ready, and he says he's gonna f*** someone who is willing because you wont.

What kind of boyfriend is he to you?

Chances are he isn't the one. Chances are you are gonna meet lots of better guys one after another in your life. just because you are young, at 16 years old, doesn't mean that what you feel now is RIGHT. it takes a lifetime to know what feels right.

Dump the douchebag. And just laugh at how he will never EVER be with you. And that's a f***ing shame. All he IS going to get for years to come is a life unfulfilled, not because he isn't with you, but because HE IS THE WAY HE IS.

And that's what is Really sad.
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dreamer010999
594  
dreamer010999      When: 22 days ago
Tell him that he's being selfish and disrespectful of your feelings. Show him the door and only consider taking him back if you feel he has truly changed.
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Ironpanther12 No she shouldn't take him back ever. - 20 days ago

Ironpanther12
2633  
Ironpanther12      When: 22 days ago
I think you should break up. He obviously doesn't give a crap about you and is just looking for sex. DON'T EVER LET ANYONE PRESSURE YOU INTO SEX! It's your body show it some respect... I'm glad you're resisting him but you gotta break up with him.
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What Girls Said

enlightenment
1602  
enlightenment      When: 22 days ago
ewwww...screw him, that's no man. That's a boy trying to be a man.
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Annette83
2524  
Annette83      When: 22 days ago
Threatening to have sex with someone else because you won't do something he wants is emotional blackmail. This guy needs to learn to work out problems like an adult, by discussing them calmly, rather than by threatening you. A relationship should never be used to blackmail someone. Once that happens, people have a hard time trusting each other and they worry about the relationship instead of enjoying it. You have told him your decision and he either has to live with that or end the relationship.

I hope you realize that giving in to his demand not to go to Halloween would be a bad idea. He is being controlling and manipulative. It is not his place to tell you what to do. Your going to Halloween is not going to hurt him; he is just being petty and mean.

I feel sorry for him because, like practically everyone at some point, I know what it is like to want sex and be refused. But that is no justification for his behavior.

My advice is move on. You are very young and there ae guys out there who are not like this one. Why waste time with a guy like this? It can't be fun for you. You said that you have argued about this issue a lot and that every time he promises to be more reasonable in future. But he doesn't change. People often don't change... In future, just move on when you are with a guy who doesn't treat you well.
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pearl1979
3493  
pearl1979      When: 22 days ago
Show him the door...
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