I told this girl I liked her about 4 months ago, but she said she felt too selfish and insecure for a relationship. I thought she was letting me down gently, so I was prepared to let her go, and we’re still good friends. But: - found out she’s never had a boyfriend - She sees a boyfriend as someone who she’s become really good friends with first. - I only knew her for three weeks when I told her I liked her.
So: I left it for two and half months, and we’re still friends, but I didn’t try to flirt with her or anything.
But: - I still like her, so I decided I might try flirting with her again. - Grabbed hold of her hands, (didn’t hold them though), every now and then - Tell her I think she’s beautiful - Walk her to her classes - Started calling her – phone conversations at first latest 5,10 mins, but now they last 20-30mins However sends mixed messages: PROS: - doesn’t pull back when I do any of the things I said above - doesn’t try and end the phone conversations early - always smiling, never seems to be awkward around me - quite often if we’re standing up together, she’ll come and stand up right next to me, practically touching me - if we’re having a three way conversation she’ll often lean in towards me - quite frequently she looks into my eyes even though she’s talking to someone else, but then again she often looks into the eyes of whoever she’s talking to. - we had a catch up coffee together recently- just her and i, (her suggestion), even though we have a common class 4 days a week and even though we’ve been out as a group once a week for the past month, and she mentioned a few times that we should do stuff after the exams, (not sure if she meant her and I or so a group)
CONS: -sometimes she replies to my emails/texts, sometimes she just doesn't (but she does do this with most of her friends) -and sometimes she doesn't answer my calls - perhaps she is just too busy/stressed? Or maybe she's ignoring me...but she often writes me an email afterwards apologizing for missing my call! - but she has never initiated a call either...I've always called her
BUT: she doesn't seem to act in the slightest bit awkwardly around me, nor does she avoid me. We've been out with a group of friends several times and we share a common class 4 days a week. (in fact it has only been in the past six weeks that we have done stuff as a group outside uni together.)
Its not that I think my "actions" towards her (grabbing her hands etc) are particularly flirtacious, -she has very flirty friends and I know of some who do similar things, but its the fact that I have ALREADY told her a few months ago how I felt. Surely that has entered her mind hasn't it? Wouldn’t she pull away etc if she felt uncomfortable or at least try to subtly hint that I wasn't interested!
Has anyone has had any similar experiences? I'm just wondering whether I should keep at it, and if so how, (I am patient), or whether you think it's pointless?
as soon as I was done reading, my first reaction was "ask her out !" and sure enough I look down to see the other comments saying the same thing lol its true though...she seems into you. if you don't want to take the chance of asking her to be official, then ask her out on a date and see how that goes.
ok girls are shy dude they never do f***ing anything unless they are drunk besides a guy has to do everything !
but to finish all this nonsense ask her out
ur cons are kind of stupid no offense the fact that she emails you means she thought of you and maybe she is busy I wouldn't be freaking out about
grabbing hands for a girl is a big thing I'm pretty sure she likes you so why not go for it and your an idiot for telling her you liked her three weeks of knowing her kind of creepy but its w/e good thing she didn't pull away so just make it official and ask her out
If you really do like her and are willing to remain in a non-sexual relationship for a long time, then absolutely keep it going. I wouldn't worry too much about her missing the odd call, especially if she acknowledges it after. Its ok even if she just doesn't feel like talking to you at that exact time -- if you talk a lot to each other then there will be times when you or her for whatever reason don't feel like it at that exact moment. Whether due to being busy and stressed, or whatever. It all sounds good to me, so if you really like this girl don't rush her or make a big deal out of this stuff -- just give her time to adjust to her first boyfriend experience. Good luck!
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(Age:18 to 24)
When: 22 days ago
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