THIS IS LONG SO BEAR WITH ME! Ok, I am guy that is currently majoring in nursing, which is quite unusual. Anyways, I was partnered with a girl in my class to do health work with. Over time I fell for her.
During the health work, I've picked up some signs that she "may" mutually like me. Some examples would be: -her trying to start conversations with me -Me doing a job that no one wants to do, and she comes over and joins me -her asking what my likes and dislikes are -her face turning red when some one shouted out that we were a married couple and then both of us trying to deny it.
Still sometimes she ignores me and it's like I'm not there
So anyways a few days ago I finally got the courage to ask her out with this "(name goes here) I really like you, and didn't realize it until a few days ago, I would appreciate it if you could return the feeling. She replies with. What do mean? When did you like me? (but she didn't seem surprised)
I choke here and said recently when I shoulda said for a long time. Then there was a awkward silence. And she ends it with saying "well how about you give me your number and we'll go out for drinks or something some time"
What does this mean? Did I rush to ask her out? Is this just a nice way of letting me off? Please help! ~thx
Update: So its been close to a week and no phone call. :( I think she did just let me down softly. Should I go and talk her her about the situation? And tell her how I may have rushed things?
7 months ago
Yes, you absolutely should go and talk to her and let her know that you may have rushed the situation and been very rash with your words. If she is understanding & forgiving she will no doubt give you a chance. All you need to do is give her a dose of honesty.
Don't think of it as a confession, think of it as being honest and upfront. Yes, technically you don't have to "explain" yourself to her. But, in this case, yes, I do think you do. Good luck. I hope things work-out. - 7 months ago
It was a bit bold and presumptions that you ask her to return those seem feelings. I think you really put her on the spot. That line could have gone either way -- "oooh wow, yeah I totally like you" or, "uh...okay, let's go out for drinks". You take a risk by being so clear and bold the way you did -- but did ask for too much to begin with.
Yes, definitely take her up on the offer for drinks. Trust me, if she wasn't interested she would have been like -- "uh okay" and just sat their and smiled. Sounds like she interested...you have, in a sense put a lot of pressure on her by displaying your feelings so boldly. I think it is a good idea to let her know that you meant every word you said, but also that you are willing to take things slow and did not mean to come on too strong or aggressive. Also, let her know that you like to tell her like it is. If anything it will generate a bit of a laugh! Anyways, good for you and your bold approach. I wish more guys were like that!
I realized it was a bit TOO bold after...yeah.....i guess too much of a good thing is bad..even confidence.....thx for your response! - 7 months ago
Answerer
Your welcome. Sounds like from the signs, she certainly does like you. Just put her at ease & let her know that you did come on really strong. But, did not mean to put pressure on her or scare her off. At least now she knows that you like her -- and you know what, that took a lot of nerve. Good Luck! - 7 months ago
You should have just said that you liked her for a LOOONG time (but not in a creepy way. Just to show her that you actually thought of asking her out for a long time now), and she would have said yes. And I really think she likes you (if what you say is true), but she's just shy and kind of unsure of herself and the fact that you've 'just started to like her'. You should tell her the truth. And she'll feel more comfortable around you and more confident to enter in a conversation with you. And yes, she would really like to get to know you better. Just give her the chance to do that. Either with a group of friends or just the two of you. It's her call really, wherever she feels more comfortable!
Should I tell her that the whole sudden thing was just me choking and that I actually did i like her for a long time? - 7 months ago
Answerer
Sure. I mean. That would be a much bigger complement than you telling her you kinda started to like just recently. So, go ahead, you only stand to gain from this situation. :) - 7 months ago
I totally know how to answer this-i actually do this to a guy but the whole being married thing doesn't happen. Anyway she probably just really wants to get to know you. The guy I do this to-i only do it cause I don't know y but for some reason I just really want to get to know them and be friends with them.
So do you see the person as a interest, or do you just want to be friends? - 7 months ago
Answerer
Um..i really just want to be friends with him...i did the same thing to a different guy a few months ago because I liked him at the time but now were best friends and who knows maybe well be something more then that one day - 7 months ago
She may or may not being letting you down easy. Since she didn't accept your offer of a date and instead asked for your number this means she may not be interested. It could also be in your approach. If you don't hear from her, try to be cool the next time you see her. This means don't avoid her, don't try to get her attention. Just act as if nothing happened and be the way you have always been. If she still tries to have contact with you, then try again, only ask if she would like to study, but say only that.
No embellishments of "I like you or why didn't you call? " If she ignores you, then move on. As a fellow nursing student I know how important it is to study, so do that and wait for the next girl. Hope this helps.
Guess ill keep trying till she gives me a straight answer then :3, I think I may have rushed things a bit. Why can't girls give a straight answer? - 7 months ago
Answerer
The same reason that guys don't give a straight answer. If a girl is into a guy, she will usually jump at the offer of a date, and vice versa. If she won't give you a straight up yes/no answer, then therein lies the answer. If you feel you have rushed it a bit, listen to that little voice, that's why it's there. It"s what will keep you from going too far. - 7 months ago
I don't think you rushed it but even if you did you can't change that. she didn't turn you down, she wants your number. it sounds like she's trying sort of, to play hard to get. then again I'm 18 what do I know about older women?
I've had a similar situation happen to me. The girl was actually engaged and flirted with me. A lot of your examples were similar to what happened to me. I had no intentions of pursuing her, but found myself falling for her. Now, she and I are trying to reach out to each other to mend our friendship. It's very awkward and I know that I really like her and I see her trying to reach out to me. Trying to mend the friendship has been very exhausting and I don't want to give up, but it's getting to the point where I'm just tired of trying to work it out. I think you are the kind of person that isn't afraid to speak your mind and you came out and said it. It's done! She knows how you feel.
The big problem is that women do not handle their part of this responsibility very well. Most (99%) of women will expect you to get read their mind, or read their sign, or read between the lines. If women would be straight up with men, men wouldn't have to go through this. Women want to keep as many friends as they can around so that if anything happens, they have security. Don't get me wrong. She may like you too, but she is not going to tell you that.
Wow, that was a great answer! Thx for your input! I don't really mind being just friends, but I cannot give up the possibility that something might still happen because she did not give me a clear answer. I guess the old saying is true, men are from mars, women are from Venus. I think I might just go ask her again to give me a straight answer since I'm not afraid of rejection anymore - 7 months ago
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