So I went out with this amazing guy last week. He's pretty much everything that a woman can ask for. He's very attentive, funny, intelligent, and charming. We seemed to really hit it off really well and our date lasted for hours. He'd compliment me in a way that seemed genuine. He was saying all the right things that any woman would want to hear. He's so much of a charmer that I'm not sure if he's for real or if he's just putting up an act. He's probably the most considerate man I've ever been out with. I'm skeptical because I think I'm a little jaded by the previously men that I've dated. So what are the chances that this guy really likes me for me? How can I tell if he's genuine? Are their signs to look out for? I'll be going out with him again tomorrow.
Update: I'm going to answer my own question. No, this guy is NOT for real. It ended after 2 months. He did the hard chasing the first month then he decided he doesn't want to settle into a relationship. Oh well. Now I know to never trust a charming man! :P
17 days ago
It is rare to find someone who fits the "perfection" stereotype. Usually you'll find a flawed, but nice and caring, and slightly clumsy guy. Or some other combination.
That being said, the "perfection" man does exist, at least I think. I fit the bill in every way except I don't like physical contact, so that kind of throws a wrench into everything lol. Unfortunately, for every guy that fits the bill, there is someone impersonating him.
If this man moves too fast he's probably looking for an easy hook-up. If this man is legit he will go at YOUR pace. So set it. If he stays with it he's legit, but if he tries to manipulate you into giving up your body, then you'll know. The only problem is if he manipulates you then you probably won't even realize it, (the nature of manipulation), so you just have to remember, YOUR PACE, not his, YOURS.
Thanks for the advice. It's great to hearing it from a male perspective. I agree with you that perfection is rare. And frankly I believe everyone has some kind of flaws and he probably have some but it's just not apparent to me yet. I agree... and I should set the pace. but damn... I'm not sure if I can with stand his charm!
Oh and I had a wonderful time again and he was a gentleman the entire time :). - 3 months ago
Answerer
Well watch because sometimes charm is manipulation! Lot of "perfect" guys do the charm thing to get their way with women, but it sounds like 2 dates and nothing happened is good.
Have you kissed? - 3 months ago
Question Asker
We kissed (non french) at the end of the first date. We made out (only kissing, french, his hands did not wander) on the 2nd date. I will have to exercise a lot of self control because I don't plan on sleeping with him until at least 3 more dates. - 3 months ago
I apologize for piggy backing off of your question.
I'm in the exact same situation as you. And I've been jaded by previous relationships as well. I've seen this guy over three weekends. We have a great time together and great sex. We've agreed that we are in no hurry to get into a relationship that we are just going to take one day at a time and see where it goes. But when he's not sober he asks me to be his girlfriend. Tells me how other girls are "harping' on him about what s going on between he and I as they'd like a relationship with him but he likes me. That he doesn't trust 99% of the women who are interested in him. Asked me if I wanted him to stop dating other people and I said that I thought it was a little early, he replied with some other girl may steal me from you then and I don't think you'd like that very much. When he's sober he says That he believes in being friends with someone first, then developing a relationship. When I first met him he told me that he doesn't want to be in love as he doesn't want to get his heart broken which would effect his work.
I do like him a lot but I'm getting some very mixed signals. It's like he wants me to say I want him and once I do say that what is he going to say to me?
I guess the best thing to say to Somechick is give it time and see. That's what people have been telling me. Just have fun and if it goes somewhere. Great. If not, at least it was fun. That's easier said than done though.
Yeah, I guess only time will tell if this is all just an illusion. I did have a wonderful time with him again. And we'll be going out again on Friday. I guess the good thing about this guy is that he isn't sending me mixed signals. - 3 months ago
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Describe your ideal first date; Where do you go? What do you wear? How does the date end?
My first ideal date could simply be out to dinner and then a movie or it could just be going over his place and watching a movie or doing something. I don't really care what we do as long as we have fun. either way id wear something nice. probably a black mini skirt and a tight white tanktop with lace and with a shirt over it and definitely cute black shoes. and the date would end with a kiss.
Afterwards..what will your date know about you?
After the date he would know that I'm nice, fun to be around, sweet, funny, confident, and cute.
And the picture I know I was at work, waitressing.
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