What do you consider is happening? This guy I was dating has recently stopped coming out to see me. The situation is really confusing. I'm transferring to UCSD this coming fall, his excuse for not being so close anymore is exactly that. I'm not sure if it's bullshit or what. Before he really knew I was leaving, he'd flake out on me to be with the guys or because he was too tired. One other factor is that yea, I don't have my license yet, and sometimes he complains about that too. Normally, however, he initiates a plan, and cancels last minute. We were never in anything SERIOUS, but what upsets me is that he doesn't always pull thru with what he plans with me. I tried playing this little game back by giving him a bunch of maybes when he did ask me to hang out almost every day a couple weeks ago. Since then, he's truly stopped calling me every other night to just chat, and to hang out in general. We've hung out once after school, and that's it.but acted like platonic friends. I asked him if we were still dating a few days ago, and he said, "IOno, we're not going anywhere. You're leaving." And I told him we should make the best of the time I have left here, he said yes, but even as of today, he canceled plans with me again. What is going on? Can you decipher? He postponed this plan, (as he usually does) to Thursday, but even THEN I'm not sure if he'll pull thru. Is there another girl perhaps? If he's not interested in dating me anymore, shouldn't he just tell me? He had the option of saying no when I asked.
I have learned something years ago. Every single person in life has something called priorities. The best way to find out what someone's priorities are, is to check see where they spend their money, and where they spend their time. If something is a big priority to someone, then they will spend a majority of their time and money with that thing or person. They will sacrifice other things for that priority. Sounds like you're not a priority to this guy, so I would say it's over.
So, why didn't he just say no to continuing the dating? That does not make much sense. For sure, I'll be upset if he said no, but I'd rather take that sharp pain rather than dealing with question marks every single day, wondering what is going on. - 6 months ago
Answerer
I don't know hun. I ask myself that question all the time with girls. People just don't want to hurt other people's feelings I guess, but they don't realize that they're just making it worse. - 6 months ago
Well honey you have to realize people get comfortable and he may have seemed he has lost you already. Maybe his way of showing his feelings is to hide them. But to be honest people are very mysterious now a days, every one is very self involved. Have you talked to anybody he knows that maybe he has moved on?
dear lilpeanut, (what a great name, you gave me a good giggle), It does sound like he is moving on. And honestly, so should you. I would focus more on spending time with your friends and having girls nights out and stuff like that. There will be plenty of young horny drunk college boys at UCSD to keep you busy for the nest 4 years. You live life once, so don't waste it on some kids who wants to act like a 5 year old. Go out there and have fun. j. p.s. lilpeanut.lilpeanut.lilpeanut.lol I got say it 3 more times! yaaaay! =)
Maybe sometimes people are just afraid to get involved in dating because they fear to lose interest in other priorities they have or get hurt. And sometimes just not ready for the relationship. It doesn't always have to be oh he found someone else. There's a guy I really like, we're friends with benefits, but I know our relationship would hardly work out, because in order to meet his standards, I'd have to change mine, which I won't, like we're living different stages in life. I'd suggest just let him go and if he comes back you'll know what to do. Just don't give up and live like you have no issues about him!
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