Why doesn't he want a relationship?

That is really messed up.
Kissing and making out AND he says being in a relationship is gay? That's bullshit.
If I were you, I would just leave the guy. Because I feel that he's sorta being irresponsible, like he wants to do what you do in a relationship, but not handle it emotionally. Very selfish in my opinion.
But if you seriously think he just doesn't want to be in a relationship for other reasons, it may be that he doesn't want to handle having a relationship, because it is hard for a guy, and if he doesn't do so well, he doesn't want to be blamed for it. A guilty conscience can scare guys away, if they do things and don't take responsibility for it.

If you and him are doing things and you feel like you want more commitment before you continue and/or go further then that is your choice.

"cause it hurt me to already know he didn't want a relationship with me." There, you need to stop there. Don't let this guy drag you along and do things that you don't want to do with out a commitment.

No point in trying to "force" him into some committed thing because as far as I can tell he'd be doing it just to get some more play from you.