When it comes to guys, if I'm really set on someone, I have a tendency to just concentrate on that one person, even if it means not dating other people to see if other guys have boyfriend potential. Almost always in the end when I do end up with the guy, I'm always heart broken. I'm the kind of girl who'll do anything to make her feel guy doted on but not smothered. For instance, if he goes out, I never ask the who, where, what & when questions. In fact I never bring it up. If he says something about it, I listen but never ask questions. When I call him it's usually 3 or 4 days apart. When I see him I cook/bake for him. We go to the movies or hang out. I listen to him when he's talking. I ask him how his day was and give him advice on things if he asks.
I don't know if the things I do are smothering or are a turn off but I'm always getting dumped, and like now my ex/bf hasn't talked to me in 3 wks after a small misunderstanding from my end which I've apologized for and explained. I've tried different ways to communicate but to no avail.
so now, what I'm wondering is, how do I prevent myself from going through the same mistakes again. I know I won't be dating any time soon. I don't think I'm ready for anything serious as I'm always finding myself in a serious relationship. I've never gone out with guys to just hang out or have fun unless they were male friends. I just want to stop falling flat on my face again. I'm always wearing my heart on my sleeve and I'm such a sucker. I know, some of you will think I sound easy I'm not. maybe I'm just too nice to people who don't deserve it. I need to take the 'bitch' factor a couple of notches higher. *sigh*
I wouldn't change who you are. If you feel comfortable going out with guys just to hang out or dating more than one guy casually then go for it! Give it a try. But maybe that's just not who you are. I think you sound like a great girlfriend. Unfortunately, these guys just don't appreciate it or aren't right for you or something. You might consider the types of guys you end up dating. Maybe you are unconsciously picking the wrong kinds of men? If so, maybe you could try to figure out why you do that. It could be that for some reason you're not ready for a serious relationship either so you set yourself up to fail by picking the wrong guys. (Sounds crazy, but it's just one of many possibilities. I would also say that odds are good you will eventually find a guy that DOES appreciate all you do for him and cares about you and then you'll be the one who ends up dumping him, lol. Just seems to be how it always goes. Guy or girl, you have someone who is really good relationship material and they're constantly getting dumped on, longing for someone to just love them and appreciate them. But as soon as it happens, they just end up in a role reversal and end up breaking the person's heart. But don't worry. the right person will eventually come along. Probably when you LEAST expect it. Right when you decide not to date anyone or not to get into any serious relationships, etc. That's when he'll show up, lol.
It is hard for anyone not to fall fast and hard into love. I don't think you need to change yourself just because you like to fall hard and fast but you just have to be careful with your next boyfriend. Also next time let the guy prove to you that he is worthy of your love before call him your boyfriend.
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