How do you ask a girl out if she is your friend?

You're so cute how you write this! :D My advice would be to ask this 'Mike' guy for help because this is a shy girl and she would probably get scared if you ask her straight, believe me this happened to my friend, she was shy and got scared once and just ran away lol. Anyway the best way to make this happen is to have Mike say something to Lucy. But he probably will not want it to be awkward for him and I can understand why he will feel that way if he does. So do this: Ask Mike to ask Janet to ask Lucy if she would be interested in having a relationship with you. But make sure you tell Mike to ask Janet in such a way as to not make it look like you asked him to do this! Not that its a bad thing to do its just you don't want it to look awkward for you. And Mike is a big bad meanie if he doesn't want to do this for you and you should quit being his friend >: (. Just make sure you help him out if he doesn't have a girlfriend or do something else for him if he does already :) I'm sure he will though. I'm in college like you are and people do this all the time. The shy people that is. You will get her I'm sure she's great for you!

same thing happened to me like in 5th grade I'm a senior and the boy is still after me kind of an on and off thing he never asked me out though well he did once but that's another story just ask her out! to like a movie so it won't get awkward then maybe dinner so yall will have something to talk about plus girlfriends tell each other everything so she obviously knows and if things haven't been awkward she could have feelings for you too and if you don't ask her out your gonna regret it later trust me what do you have to loose?

First of all I would like to tell you this is one of the cutest, sweetest things I've heard. Second, I feel compelled to tell you Lucy already knows. It's basically girl code. There's no way -even if she and Janet aren't that close- that Janet didn't tell her. So she knows and isn't backing off. Congrats, first hurdle beats the dust. Now, just find something your both interested in, like (I know it's a cheesy example) if you both like poetry ask her to a slam or a poetry club or something. But since you don't want to be overt, start by bringing the subject up in one of your conversations (follow example, your talking about poetry) then say you know a really great concert/slam/restraunt/movie/etc she should check out. If she says something like "sounds great" or "definatly" then ask her to go with you, if she backs off saying "ah. maybe sometime" or something wishy washy like that then back off. If you have to back off, maybe ask Janet what she knows, or ask Dan or Mike to find out what they can (as long as we're back in middle school).


Hope it helps.

i saw go for it but not too straight forward since you say she's timid say something like.i liked gettin to know you over this past year and I'm greatful that "mike" introduced us because I think you're an amazing person and if its ok with you I would love to go out on a date sometime

Aww. Just ask her out. The worst that could happen is she says no and you lose her as a friend, but even that isn't guaranteed, you know.
If she's never been out on a date, this could be easy for you; all you have to do is be gentle and very respectful of her. Like you said, she'll realize something's up if you ask her to go somewhere by herself, so do just that: take her to dinner, a movie, ice-skating, something simple where you two can enjoy each other's company without things getting awkward. Don't bring anything up about how you feel, instead, just flirt a little, enjoy yourself and the time you're getting alone with her.
Then when it's all over and you two are done having your fun, drive her home. But rather than pulling up right to her house, find a place to pull over somewhere close by. Park and all that, get that seat-belt off, and ask her if she had a good time. Get a little conversation going, and around this time you should tell her how you feel. You'll know when the time is right. Well, you don't have to do all this exactly. I'm just trying to give some advice.
I know it's hard. I've had it happen to me before, having a friend who liked me but was super shy about asking me out. But girls are generally shy too, and unless you let her know you like her, things won't get any easier for you.

Either way, you'll never know unless you try. I think it sounds like you two have the potential for a great relationship, and like you said, you don't want to go on regretting not asking her out. Good luck to you!

Well I think your only option here is to ask her out or at least tell her how you feel because it's obvious that you like her and nothing is worse than the feeling of regret. Depending on how good of friends Janet and Lucy are, I would say that it is more than likely that Janet told Lucy how you feel. With that being said, Lucy has yet to act weird around you or avoid you. You said that one of your worries is that she and you wouldn't be friends if she did say no to you because of her timid personality. That shouldn't be a huge concern if she already knows that you like her. Also, I mean how good of a friend is she really? She never hung out with you alone and it doesn't seem like you know her that well- so would you really be losing this great friendship if by chance she didn't want o be friends with you after you asked her out? Either way, friendship is under risk. You could end up asking her out and dating her and then breaking up- friendship is always on the line, but in this situation it's not like she is your best friend or something. If you don't want to ask her out yourself, I recommend talking to Janet and try and see if you scope out how Lucy feels about you. Good luck!

She knows, which is why you have to ask her out. If you never do, and she knows your interested, she'll think she did something wrong. I've never been on a date before either, take it from me she wants you to ask her out, trust me on this one. And make it memorable if possible, after all don't you want to be her first date, just think about that, you'll truly be special to her if you do

I am interested in what more girls have to say about this. I know a few friends who are in a similar situation and I would like to help them, if you have more advice for this guy. All the female answers were really helpful in my opinion. This is one of the greatest questions on here and a lot of people can really benefit from thoughtful answers on this. Sorry I couldn't answer your question myself bud, because I have never been in this kind of situation personally. Just trying to help you out by bringing more attention to your question.

Good Luck.

I'm going to use this thing called Okham's Razor: The simplest answer is the best one: Ask her out. If she says no, I do not believe that she will drop you as a friend. Granted, there may be a period of awkwardness but that will pass.

This also applies. I found it on the pickuppodcast.com forums a few weeks ago:

Cute Girl says:

I like nice guys; that's not the problem. I just met you and you are telling me how much you want to date me and asking for my phone number and I am probably not ready. You just come on too strong and too fast. You come across as desperate by telling me how special and beautiful I am, you tell me you LOVE ME SOOO MUCH, that you will always treat me right, how I'm the one you have always been looking for, how good you will treat me, and all that rubbish.

I'd rather a guy try to get into my pants. If only you would just give me a little time and space, but NOOO you have to LOVE me. So I choose the good looking bad boys. You can slap their face and they just smile. At least with the bad boys, if and when I decide I'm not interested, they don't give a hoot. I'm not going to hurt them.

Like most girls, I’m a companionate person; I don’t wish to wish to hurt anyone. But if I decide I don’t want to date you anymore, you are going to be SOOO hurt. I can see it in your face, your expression, and body language. You try to get me back, you mope and complain, you point out all the things you have given me, and tell me how badly I’m treating you, or maybe even talk about suicide.

I don't want to deal with any of that crap, let alone most of it. If you give me the slightest indication you are going to be that way, that's it; I'm not having anything to do with. If you act like that, I don’t think you are a nice guys at all, I think you are a selfish clingy bastard posing as nice guys just to get me, the girl. You don’t care about me; if you did, you would be happy for me when I wanted to go because that would be what I wanted. But, no you are selfish and want me to stay and love you even though that is not what I want.

When you want to go bowling with one of your guy friends and he tells you he has a date and can’t go, you would like for him to go but you don’t get miffed or get your feelings hurt. It's hard for me to tell you what you don't want to hear when I know you are so enthused and you will be SOOO disappointed. If you would give me the same considerations you give your guy friends and not be offended and get your feeling hurt, I might go out with you.

Please, do yourself (and Lucy) a favor and read this:

The "Nice Guy"---and Why He's Not Nice
By Dropit

"Nice," as used in the community, is way different than "nice" as used by women.

When the community uses the term, it is a perjorative. But since to most people it's enjoys a positive connotation, I thought a little more definition would be helpful

The "nice" guy likes a girl. He starts by befriending the girl and denying any romantic interest (he figures: I'll prove I like her as a person, not just a romantic interest), secretly taking note of what she likes, and then giving the "perfect" gift along with a confession of his love.

Poor girl! She thought she had a friend, but now she finds out he was just acting the whole time. Alternatively, she is uncomfortably surprised from this lightning bolt out of a seemingly clear blue sky, and is worried about how to save the friendship without hooking up with the guy, perhaps adding to the rejection the caveat, "You're such a nice guy."

Eventually, she lets him down as easy as she knows how (remember, this is a good, kind girl here), and this guy wonders what he did wrong. He certainly didn't do anything mean; his ears perked up when he heard her complain about guys, and steadfastly worked to avoid doing those things. He figures he's being nice.

The problem is that these guys have a sort of male version of going for commitment too fast. A relationship is a 50-50 venture, but he's gone 90-10, and he's basically trying to pressure her into liking him, claiming (or at least implying) that she "owes" him for all he's done for her. He is trying to force her into liking him, she senses the trap, and she splits.

Then she meets another guy. She regards him as moderately attractive (maybe even LESS attractive than the nice guy), and she figures he'd be worth a date. So they go out, and it's clear that they're on the same page---he had an open Friday night, so, hey, he called her up. Turns out he has a rough edge or two, but nobody has to be perfect. He calls her up for a second date, and again, it's clear to both that this is just a date. She hasn't put that much effort into it, but neither has he. At least he isn't trying to lasso her with guilt.

So when our self-proclaimed "nice" guy meets this new guy and sees that he's not working as hard as the "nice" guy did, yet she's dating HIM, he thinks: "What? I worked so hard for her! I did everything I could! I even watched her favorite show so I could find something to talk about! What's wrong? Why is she dating that jerk?"

The so-called "jerk" isn't really a jerk; he simply isn't as fawning as the "nice" guy. But the labels have been assigned in his head, and so comes the saying, "Nice guys finish last."

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