I was looking through my old text messages, and I just saw an old text from a friend of my ex. I thought nothing of this at the time, but now that I look at it from a different perspective, I think my ex was testing me.
I won that test of course, but now I'm a little bit annoyed that I didn't see it when it happened.
At the time, this person texts me. I don't respond right away, because I don't text message people often. (I don't like text speak, so it takes me longer to write in sentences.), and because I don't know who it is. The second time she texts me again "y aren't you answering?" So I finally answer back "Who is this?" "Guess." "I don't like games." Then I get another "this is ___________ (friend of my girlfriend) Can you come and play?" "how did you get this number?" "I got it from (girlfriend)." "what? Uh, no. I don't even really know you." "ths is (girlfriends) frend." "I know. You told me that already." "U sure you can't come ovr?" "Yup. you seem cool, but I'm not interested in dating anyone else. You KNOW I'm dating (girlfriend)." "ooo. ok."
Weird conversation, I'll admit, and I was a little annoyed that my girlfriend would just give out my number to a virtual stranger like that, and that this person would think it was normal to just talk to me like we know each other closely already. especially behind your supposed friend's back. But as a test, I had never considered it.
What makes me think that this is a test is that 10 minutes later, my girlfriend (at the time) texts me and says "sorry bout my friend. I told her to text you 4 me." "she didn't mention you were with hanging out with her. She could have just said that if she was asking for you." Then I asked "Why didn't you use your phone to text me if you wanted to hang out?" "lost." "Oh."
I was annoyed that it was such a strange "conversation" but I just dismissed it, gave them benefit of the doubt.
So was this a "on purpose" test or not? At the time, we weren't officially dating exclusively. but now as I know her as an ex, I realize that this weird text conversation might very well have been a "faithfulness" test; I don't care cause I don't cheat, I'd never given her a reason to think I was or wanted to cheat, and she knew why I wouldn't cheat on ANY woman. Part of me doesn't care because I will always pass the faithfulness test. But part of me is annoyed that I know see that it's quite likely she didn't trust me from the beginning. especially when I gave her no reason to think I would.
My opinion as a girl, it was a on purpose test. She probably did it because she's been cheated on b4 or because she's cheated. Hey that's really great of you that your faithful and plan to always be, you deserve better than that.
That's immature if you ask me and I should hope your ex didn't ask her friend to do that out of suspicion. Maybe she didn't trust you, it's hard to say but you're not with her anymore so try not to dwell on it. I don't think you'd want to be involved with someone and games like that anyways, since you're an honest, faithful guy, hm?
She was always testing me, and it seemed like it was always the wrong response, even when I was doing the right thing. I don't mind the occasional test, just as long as it's fairly innocent. I just don't like being so slow to figure those tests out. And I hate those tests that no matter what your answer is, it's the wrong one (though I know they tend to be inevitable). I just want to be quicker on realizing those tests in general so I'm better prepared and not so awkward with the answers. - 2 months ago
Honestly, she's you ex so I wouldn't dwell on it. Also, girls have to watch out for themselves, they can get hurt easily and she was probably just trying to put her mind at ease. Women like to test us all the time, they won't admit it usually, but they do. Personally, I don't think much of it, I just know it's part of the whole relationship deal.
That said though, if it seems like you have to tip-toe around her all the time, or that your whole relationship is based on her testing you, then that's usually when I call it quits. I mean, there's always a certain degree of uncertainty as to whether the person you're seeing is doing anything behind your back, but some people can't let go it seems. There has to be some kind of foundation of trust, but you can't obsess over it since NO ONE can be 100% trustworthy. This isn't necessarily a bad thing, what you have to really look at is the magnitude of it all, white lies are very different from someone sneaking out and cheating on you.
It just sounds like she cared enough about you that she didn't want to get hurt if you were doing something, or someone on the side. So don't hold it against her, plus, like you said, you passed so you really have nothing to worry about.
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(Age:25 to 29)
When: 2 months ago
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