Met this guy about 2 months ago. We knew each other a for about 6 months and flirted a lot. (He delivers to the company I work for.) We had small talk back then until I finally worked up enough nerve to ask him to hang out. (He knew I was married, but separated for some time.) So he said yes and gave me his number. I did not call. So next time I saw him, several days later, he asked why I didn't call. He said he would take my number so it would actually happen. He called me that day to make plans. The next day we went out and spent about 4 hours together. It was fun. We talked and got to know each other a little bit. He confessed he had a girlfriend for the past 3 years. They were having problems blah bla. So I was surprised that he still wanted to hang out, but hey, then again I am legally married, but separated. Anyhow, he wanted to see me almost everyday that week. I agreed and saw him a fews times. We kissed. Didn't do much else. We would call each other about every couple of days after that. Always had fun. About a week went by and we saw each other again. We did a little more this time but did not have intercourse. He loved the time together he said.So about two weeks goes by and he calls me less. BUT when I called him he would be like, oh you are finally the one calling me. So I took that as a sign to call him a little more. He would call, we would talk. Several days would go by and I would call him and we would talk. We talked for probably close to 12 hours all together on the phone. Never talked about where we were going or anything. Never about when we would see each other next. So finally about a week went by.the longest since we started talking. He asked to hang out (it seems to always be on his terms) and I said okay. We ended up having sex. After that he called me a few times, but not as often. So I was talking to him maybe twice a week if that. At one phone call I think I ruined it. I said to him.are you into this just for the sex or something else that can potentially happen. He said it wasnt just physical. (I don't believe it. I'm not one of those girls.) So a few more days go by again and he calls and I didn't answer. I can't be a call girl to him. I called him back later that night and we talked about stupid stuff. He asked what I was doing the next day and how he was free and that he would call me. Well, its been over a week and no phone call. He knows I am interested in him. He said he was interested in me. He also made comments to me that he hopes he sees me again (when I had told him I wasnt sure because it seems like he plays games). He said to me how he really wants to see me again and he hopes I want to see him too. I know he has a girlfriend, but in the start that didn't stop him from seeing me more and calling me more. I am 32 and he is 34. I feel stupid calling him because I don't want to "chase" him. Is he not calling b.c he lost interest? If he lost interest why did he call last week?Is he playing games?advice?
Update: TY for the responses.I decided to give him a call today and he didn't answer.He usually always answers my calls and if not,he calls back soon after.No calls yet.I never leave a msg.He saw my call I'm sure.Now I'm more lost.
5 months ago
Update: we fixed some of this so far. went on a nice long weekend getaway talked a lot. since then I met his parents and friends. so far things look better. hopeful, maybe.
4 months ago
From the view over here, it sounds like this is a relationship of convenience. And even though you are having more serious feelings, to some degree it's convenient for you as well. I believe that you, as a married woman, know how to be direct. There is nothing that says you can't demand (or urge, if you want to go softer) that he meet on your terms and confront the situation. If this is truly something you two want to pursue, you're both going to have to discuss what steps will need to be taken, who is responsible for what, and what the terms will be.
I assume you wanted to be married, so since you got what you wanted before, I will assume you know how to go after what you want still.
On a big side note, may I suggest finding an attorney for a dissolution hearing.
This situation sounds familiar to what I went thru a few years back, when I wasn't too secure with 'handling women' ];)
Like your story, many times in the past I would call a girl, and they never made an attempt to be the ones calling me, even though when I called them, we had a good time talking; however, back in those insecure days, many times I thought, 'well, maybe they are being polite," or "maybe, since they say I'm funny, they just want to talk to me to have a laugh." Back then my 'yardstick' to see if they were interested would be for them to call me. If they didn't call, then I didn't want to bother them, so I would stop calling them.
You also mention that he knows that you're interested in him----are you 100% sure that he knows you're interested in him, or you say that because you expect for him to figure that out from your 'signals'?
Finally, you're 32. You're not a high school girl. Be a woman, call him, and see what he is up to. If you're concerned about the gf, then ask him point blank----'so how is the girlfriend coming along'? Is not like you're a teenager anymore. If you can't have these type of conversations, then you got a lot of growing up to do for your age. Just the simple reality.
(Age:30 to 35)
When: 5 months ago
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