I started seeing a male co-worker about 4 months ago, nothing real serious but more of a casual dating thing that did include sex. (nobody at work knows, we keep it to ourselves) I call it casual because we never discussed being exclusive. He did say at one point that he was only seeing me but I never took that as exclusive. During those 3 months I would say he was a little flaky, stood me up twice, and would say he would call but wouldn't... things like that. I haven't seen him in an "out of work date" in over a month.
It appears to have started about a month ago. He had a few days off and emailed me prior to his days off to let me know he would call me while he was off during his long 4 day weekend. Needless to say he didn't call and that next Monday and Tuesday he avoided me at work. I eventually ran into him and I acted like nothing was wrong... said hi in my normal friendly way. He started warming up to me again but was still distant. (He has done that distance thing a few times when he said he would call and didn't) For these past couple weeks he has been distant but friendly when he sees me. Last week (Thursday) he saw me standing at the elevator, opened the lobby door and said to me "I will make it right tomorrow, okay?" I said "okay" in a friendly way before I stepped into the elevator (so he went out of his way to tell me this) What did he mean by that?
I was out on Monday, but today I saw him in the distance and we waved but we are still not talking like we did before all this happened.
I just want him to relax around me again, that it is okay, I hate that he avoids me when there is no need for that. I am no longer looking for a casual dating thing with him anymore because he is just too flakey for me. I have thought of sending him a text message telling him it is okay and that we can be friendly - - - no biggie. That it is okay and I just want to go back to us joking at work again... no pressure, no anger. (we are no longer allowed to email at work and I am not calling so text seems the best way) What do you think I should do? Don't want to send a text to appear like I am trying to get him to call... I just want to let him know I am not upset and it is okay and it is okay to relax around me... I am cool with it. Also what I should say in my text would be greatly appreciated. Keep in mind I am not trying to get back with him but instead trying to let him know all is fine.
BugginMint
(Age:25 to 29)
When: More than a year ago
If you send him a text you will just enable more flakiness. If you don't want anything to go on between you I wouldn't instigate anything else. Just let it die. If he keeps up with weird comments, etc. Just act puzzled or say something like "What are you talking about?" Or tell him not to worry because you are actually seeing someone right now. Even if it sounds like you are making it up he'll get the point. I don't think you are going to avoid an awkward period no matter what avenue you take.
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