How do you stop doubting yourself or questioning you, when you keep getting rejected or get no where with men.
I am 35yrs old I am fairly secure with myself I am confident of my self worth, my life, friends, personality etc but since spliting with my LT boyfriend 6yrs ago I have had only one boyfriend which lasest 6months last year (2007) and around 10 flings.
So if I am this great person, who looks great, has so much going for her, is strong but gentle, kind, generous, has own life - how come I cannot get a boyfriend.
Now please do not say, you should enjoy life and men are not the be all and end all.I KNOW THAT, I truly do know it and live it. I have a wonderful social life, great friends and family, I really like my life but I still yearn for company of a man, for skin on skin for cuddles and for sex basically an intimate relationship with someone special. I would like someone to enhance the great life I already have.
So what gives? Why me? Why do I sit wondering not after going on a date with man 1 or man 2 or man 3 but after around 30 first dates which probably half went well and had a good evening, am I still single and sitting here questioning what am I doing wrong?
Is it just me that goes on so many dates, and for them all to go nowhere?
I can talk, I have an interesting personality, I have charisma, I listen intently to what my date has too say and ask questions, the conversation flows nicely, the body language is good.yet nothing, not one has moved onto date two.
How can a 35yr old secure women be reduced to having bowts of self doubt, like I said its not after just a date that has not progressed I know that not all dates are going to work out and not everyone is compatable but after 30 dates with different men, different types of men, different ages, different lifestyles and backgrounds.I can only summerise that its me.
And please do not say stop looking, I do not go out and actively look for men, I go out purely to enjoy where I am going and the friends company I am with. I don't look but I still yearn, after all this time I cannot help but yearn for some skin on skin contact, affections from opp sex, things that my friends cannot give me.
Where do you meet these men? Blind dates? Through friends? Bars? Online? By not working out do you mean they don't ask you on a second date or do you not ask them? What happens after the first date? No contact, nothing?
Online thru dating website you have to pay for. I do mention above that I don't ever get asked out on a second date & that some of these first dates went well. And after the first date, no, no contact nothing at all. - 3 months ago
Well, as far as the second date issue goes, have you ever thought about asking the guy out on one? I mean it could be he likes you but doesn't think you like him (not all guys are very conscious on the signals of interest women send). Everything else, I can understand where you're coming from. As far as nabbing guys, may haps be more aggressive as far as touch goes, or go after the guy you want. I personally find it sexy when a women is sure of what she wants and not afraid to go for it.
I feel the same with you. I am attractive and I know that men find me attractive. I think our problem is we're looking for a prince charming personalities. The person that I thought have a prince charming personalities that usually end up rejecting me. I think you need to stop look for a perfect guy and just concentrate on the regular or ordinary guys who actually make you happy. ordinary guys can turn into a prince charming. I know when I meet a guy I didn't think about the moment but I think of my future like is he going to like me because I'm not perfect and what is he perfect for me? Just think about the guys from your past and have you ever compare any guys to the guy to your past? good luck ,hope it help.
Maybe you haven't met the right person yet? Everyone is different. It's not about quantity of men that should be getting you down, but the quality.
Usually if you find someone right for you there needs to be some deep connection to take it to the next level. Do you have things in common with these guys? Do you have a set criteria? Like you said not everyone is compatible and you never know, 9 times out of 10 these guys might not even be right for YOU. Therefore I wouldn't be doubting yourself.
I am also in my 30's, single and confident and would like to meet someone special in my life, but in the past year or two I have most probably dated just a handful of guys (and 50% of them had potential) and nowhere near 30 different men!
If you haven't already, narrow down your search criteria.
After much thought and self preparation, I am almost ready to ask this guy out. I have accepted the fact that I might get rejected, it won't hurt...
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