I was supposed to meet a guy tonight who asked me out. He picked the bar and time. We had originally planned to meet on Sunday and in the morning he told me that a friend had dropped in unexpectedly from out of town, so could we reschedule. And when I arrived at the bar, I sent him a text message. He replied that he totally forgot and was very sorry. He was also on the other side of town and wouldn't be free till 1.5 hours.
This has never happened to me and I want to believe in the general goodness of people. He said we should reschedule but he would understand if I didn't want to?! I will be traveling for 10 days starting Friday and I'm curious still. Tomorrow is the only day that works for me. He said to pick a place close to me and pick a time and if I didn't show up he would understand. He said this is not like him etc. . .
Hmm. . .should I or should I not?
Update: it ended up being two hours. He was there before I was. I don't have regrets about meeting up with him. He was more of a nerd than a player and it was really easy to talk. He wants to meet next week. We'll see as I'm traveling which I didn't say.
3 months ago
I find his behavior shocking. I don't stand people up. If I'm not into a girl, I stop making dates, I stop calling, she gets the hint, we move on. If he were my friend, I'd tell him he was being a jerk. If you want to keep hanging with this guy, make sure you correct him. You don't want him forming bad habits.
Atomizer, there is little reason whatsoever to think he "stood her up" in that context. If we assume the guy was telling the truth, he really did want to meet her, so it doesn't make him a bad guy or unworthy like you've basically implied. Everyone makes mistakes, and I don't think you'll be able to tell anyone you've never forgotten to do something in your entire life. - 3 months ago
Answerer
I didn't say he was a bad guy. But a no-call no-show on a first date is a big deal to me. It does not make him look good, and starts things on a sour note.
I didn't say she _shouldn't_ see him -- I don't know her (or his) situation. I said I'd be _reluctant_ to see someone again who did that to me on a first date, especially when they selected the time and place.
I've learned the hard way talk is cheap unless it's backed with behavior. - 3 months ago
Question Asker
I was in agreement with you - but I am fine after meeting him - remember I had never met him before. My in-person meeting gave me a full impression and his behavior was very good. Obviously I'll keep watch. - 3 months ago
Tonight I do not which is why I have nothing to lose. . . - 3 months ago
Question Asker
This guy is in his late 30s (so in your age range) and I'm 31. It is bizarre but hey I kind of want to close the loop and I'm free. If you were him, what would you think? - 3 months ago
Of course. Give him the call and make the plans. It doesn't seem like he's brushing you off. And besides, even if he is there's only one way to find out, and the nature of relationships is risk. You can't gain if you don't try.
Yeah I sent him a text with the place at 10pm and he responded "perfect. thanks for giving me another shot" etc. So we'll see tomorrow. I figured make it soon and get it over with. - 3 months ago
Answerer
Why is your attitude, "get it over with?" - 3 months ago
Question Asker
Oh I just mean, I might as well meet him sooner rather than later. That's why I planned for next day. I see no point in delaying it. - 3 months ago
Answerer
Oh, that does make sense. Haha, thanks for clarifying. - 3 months ago
If he really didn't care about you and actually threw away your time like he indiscriminantly, he might not have been so polite to you about making his mistake. The fact that he was polite could mean that he made an honest mistake.
Maybe you should call him and listen to the sincerity in his voice.
It's still all crazy to me. I believe he actually did forget - that's the sad part. That's because he actaully answered the phone vs. ignored it when I called. And he responded after I picked a place. In some ways it is less insulting since he has never met me to beginwith. - 3 months ago
Answerer
He may not be careless as you suspect. He could have just been absent minded. - 3 months ago
Question Asker
I hope so. It's a first for me. - 3 months ago
Answerer
So he is a nerd (like me), but he was easy to talk to. Does that mean he gets extra points? Do you like the fact that he was a nerd but easy to talk to? At your age are nerds good or OK to date? Do you believe that generally men who are nerds after they graduate college are much cooler and attractive dating material than players of the same age. Because I think players are douchebags anyway. Do you share my opinion? - 3 months ago
Question Asker
Yes being more of a nerd is better for me. he is a very smart guy but I was probably tipped off because he was a math undergrad. he has a partner and has an independent company which uses algorithms for investing now. We like the same type of movies and he ended up going through my ipod which I don't think I've had someone do before and he really liked my taste. - 3 months ago
He was rude & disrespectful, why on earth did you wait for him.you basically told him its ok for him to treat you like shite and wait around for him. He'll probably do it again. Personally I would have left gone home, and never bothered with him again unless he really really did made a huge gesture to make up for his rudeness and disrespect.
Besides would you really want to date someone so unrealiable?
You ever think maybe he had a friend scoping out the scene before he got there? Maybe, he was there himself and didn't like what he saw. OR he was just plain nervous. I don't trust men. If he really wanted to see you he would, and he would find a way to compromise his situation. To make you wait and point blank say he forgot IS extremely rude and I don't think you should ever call or contact him. He should be making all the moves to plan to get you back.
I usually would think like you but I don't think he would have picked up the phone if that was the case. I think if what you said were true, then he should just not respond right? I don't think the scenario is good. I have 12 pics on my profile so there a few full body shots and me in difft situations - I look like my pictures. The I don't have another example in my life actually. I agreed to meet him tonight at a bar which is 30 seconds from my apt. I figure I have nothing to lose right? or no? - 3 months ago
N/A
(Age:Under 18)
When: 3 months ago
sure whynot. because he could have actually forgotten and then you'll always wonder what if. if you don't meet him. but since he's from online be careful don't go back to a hotel or somewhere desolate alone with him no matter how nice or how well you thik uk him
Yeah a friend told me well if I pick a place near my apt, I would have nothing to lose. So I sent him a text with the place but admitted this is all kinda crazy. I am only free tomorrow and he responded "thanks for giving me another shot!". hmm. Of course I can still not show. - 3 months ago
Answerer
No show up.. you'll regret it if you don't lol - 3 months ago
Question Asker
He seemed like a simple, honest guy before. .. .I think I have to just to cloes the loop. - 3 months ago
(Age:30 to 35)
When: 3 months ago
asked 5 days ago
