I'm a 22 year old girl that has never dated or been in a relationship before. I'm currently in grad school and I have ambitions of going to medical school once I am finished. Lately, I have considered perhaps just being by myself in life, and just relying on myself, friends, and family for happiness. Sometimes I feel as though I would like a relatonship, but I've never been flirted with and truthfully, I don't think I'm ready for a relationship because my life for at least the next six years will be extreamly busy. How do I deal with these mixed feelings? I shouldn't be thinking about relationships at all right now because my studies come first. I would like to feel liked by someone, but that cannot happen for a long time. Sometimes I feel really down and unattractive. I'm not a partier at all. I prefer to just go to a nice dinner with friends and I'm very close to my parents. How do I stop thinking about all of this nonsense?
First, you sound focused and ambitious, so congratulations. When you're 30ish and done with school, you'll still be a kid.
Second, you sound a little depressed. If you're not ready for a serious relationship, that's your decision. But it's normal and healthy to want people to find you attractive and like you.
Do you socialize at all? But it might be good to meet some new people, whether for friends or romance. It's usually best to challenge yourself (and you already know how to do that!). Try a new activity each month. There are tons of activities for non-partiers like us, especially at colleges and universities: Visit a gym and ask someone to teach you how to use the machines. Join a book club, attend activities at church, join a volunteer group, a speed dating session, go hiking or biking with people
Practice making small talk with strangers. Next time you buy clothes, buy something you'd usually not wear. It's good to push yourself out of your comfort zone occasionally, and small steps add up over time. I'm can be shy, but push myself to do one new thing each month. It's been very valuable. A few hours a month can work wonders for your self esteem.
It could be good to have a few casual dates, simply to get out of your rut. I agree that you should ask friends if they know any single guys.
You need to start dating. It sounds like the lack of male contact is getting to you, and it will probably continue to get to you until you have a man around.
If you don't want to date seriously, don't. A lot of guys would would understand that, as long as you manage expectations regarding how much energy you'll put into the relationship.
P.S.: If you're not a partier, don't party. Let your friends know that they need to bring some single guys around. They'll get the hint.
It's not nonsense. It's perfectly normal for you to feel that way. Every woman wants to feel attractive and wanted. You don't have to party to meet people, you can join clubs and stuff like that. Join something that has to do with medicine. I am sure there is something out there like that. Maybe you should try going on a date with some one just to see how you like it.
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(Age:18 to 24)
When: 3 months ago
asked 5 days ago
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