I am dating a guy I met online and I decided to do a background check. I'm supposed to travel with him to watch him run the marathon (though that would actually verify his age because results list your age) this weekend. I just did a cheap one because why not. . .Things have been going really well and we have been dating a couple of months now. Hmm I know he ran that same marathon 1-2 years ago so I went to the results page for it and it said he was 38 when he ran it in 2006. His profile online said he was 37?! this year?! I don't know what to think now. . .thoughts?
The rest of the stuff checks out - his job etc. But I am a little concerned as to why he would lie about his age. I'm 31?! How should I proceed?
Update: Maybe I should wait till after the marathon and just say I looked at the results and it said his age? And see what he says?
A month ago
Update: IT's funny - he told me he ran 4 marathons. So I have looked up each one online and they all point to him being 40 (different races) over 10 years. . .well he didn't lie about the marathons' locations. . .but why the age? will need a come clean talk!
A month ago
Update: Ok I told him oh I see the updated the marathan website and then I said it says you are 40. How old are you and he said 40 right away. He said that when he originally signed up he put did put the wrong age and he said he had tried to change it. . .
A month ago
Lol a background check.if you are doing this with a potential suitor the trust to build a relationship is already gone. go to the real life dating and forget the computer
I didn't really do a background check - I just went to the results for the marathon to see when I should wake up to watch him on sunday. And I looked at the previous results to see his time. . .then I started googling. . .so not a real serious one. I have decided not to bother right now because my intution feels good about him and I will mention it after the marathon. I've spent a lot of time with him in last 6 weeks 12x so I have feelings and care. - A month ago
Before so if he'll lie to you he'll lose ...LOL - A month ago
Question Asker
Very funny - ha ha. . well it is a large race - I'm still torn on timing - I mean they will definitely list his age on the results. I might just tell him I was looking at the marathon site to see where I would watch from (true) and looked up his results and saw his age? (true) - A month ago
Yeah I think you are right. At least he hasn't said it outloud to me since I"ve been dating him but his profile did say that. . .should I bring it up before I travel with him for the marathon this weekend? - A month ago
Answerer
Nah. If his age will be announced at the marathon then I bet he's expecting you to have a reaction then. If you don't freak out, it might relieve him greatly. - A month ago
Question Asker
Well it won't be announced out loud I guess but it will be in the results -so yeah good point. - A month ago
Answerer
Again, he's more likely to get a date with a girl if he says he's younger than he actually is. He's self-conscious. - A month ago
Question Asker
Maybe this explains why he thinks he is so lucky to be with me. . .he has said this a few times. And he has even kept a list of each date - 11 now. . .that all seems genuine, but this lie is throwing me for a loop as far as how to handle it. I should wait till after the marathon perhaps? we are taking a train back but he will be in pain then. . .too (physically) hmm - A month ago
Answerer
You first need to decide whether or not you want to even stay with him. - A month ago
Question Asker
Are you saying I should decide before I ask him? Well outside of this, I really thought things were going very well and he treats me really well and we get along very well. It's been very easy. But this is a bit of a wrench. Or what did you mean? - A month ago
Answerer
If you honestly think this is a wrench, then the relationship wasn't very important to start with. Talk to him after the marathon so you don't possibly ruin it beforehand. This really isn't that big of deal. - A month ago
Question Asker
This is one of the best connections I have had with someone in a while - mentally same level, many common interests and everything. My friends are so impressed with how well we get along. So I don't want to put a wrench in it and I don't think it is a deal breaker. . .maybe he removed his profile from the site for that reason too (the discrepancy). I don't want to ruin the race for him too. The train tix he bought were $150/person too. Yeah I'll wait esp. since results will show it. - A month ago
Answerer
So he's 40, big deal, you seemed really interested in him before you knew that, so why does it matter now? - A month ago
Ohh honey.I agree with jdoco4560 stop looking online for love.Its bullshit because if guys are looking for love online chances are they have some major flaws and in this case its him lying about his age. Get off the computer and go meet a man in the real world. You're older than me and I wouldn't be surprised if its difficult but its definitely not hopeless.
i think you should just ask him how old he is every person has lied abt their age one time or another if he didn't lie abt anything else this shouldnt be such a big deal :)
Well first off you already found out that someone you're dating "online" is lying to you about his age?.then he could be lying to you about anything! and no one deserves to be lied to,u deserve someone better then that.I understand that things seem to be going good but how good could an online relationship get? also be careful with plp you meet online! don't you watch the news lol ;)
He's worked at a company some friends of mine have as well - and otherwise the little check I did is ok. . .but yeah I don't like it. I'll see how this "chat" goes. - A month ago
N/A
(Age:30 to 35)
When: A month ago
Have you never lied about your age? Its annoying as I hate lies but its not the worlds worst lie
The only good thing I can say at least is he never told me this outloud - just that it was on his profile which he has since removed. .. .Yeah I think it should be an interesting discussion - could lead to a healthy fresh start ideally! - A month ago
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(Age:30 to 35)
When: A month ago
asked 5 days ago
