Why did he stop showing interest??

1) My thought are, you might not have done enough to show him interest. You figured out pretty quickly that he was shy, so if you liked him, you could have considered bumping things up just a little; maybe even asking him out.

2) If he's having sex with other girls on the first date, then he has some issues, maybe he is shy, but: I'm shy. Really shy. I don't ever have girls coming on to me, and they certainly don't want to sleep with me, even on the first date, so either he's really not as shy as you think, or this girl was playing a hardcore "game" to get him into bed so quickly.

3) You feel weird asking him "straight up" well, perhaps he did too. You should have just asked him to a pre-date. I don't get what this supposed hang up is about the man having to ask due to tradition, blah blah blah. If you like someone, and you both are single, you give hints; if they don't get the hint, but still act interested, you ask them out. Not a big date, but just getting to know him.

Think of it in business terms: "networking" with your crush. That doesn't mean you'll necessarily do business or buy what he's selling, but you're curious and want to know more. And if he seems good, you might become partners. No double entendres there. Lol

Ok, so enough with the "scolding." What can we learn from the situation?

1) Consider taking more of a proactive approach to guys you're interested in. That doesn't mean sleeping with them, or even making out with them on the first date. I mean ask them to join you for coffee (with a specific day and time and mind). Don't think of it as a date. It's a "pre date." It's "networking." You still want to put your best face forward (dress decently, etc), and if that's a success, go from there.

2) Perhaps he likes this other girl; as much as you might not think so, some of us aren't dating women JUST because of looks; it could be in spite of looks even, but a personality that makes someone seem beautiful.

If we look at physical appearance alone, I wouldn't have dated either ex girlfriend. But at the time we dated, I thought they were incredibly beautiful because the personality that they were showing me was great. And that made them beautiful in my eyes.

And sometimes, it's somewhat relative. I think that a buddies crush is ok looking, but she's not all that friendly. She used to spark my curiosity, but that was more because she seemed more outgoing. Now; eh. But he practically worships her. He thinks she is one of the most beautiful women in the world.

3) If he's quick and casual to take such an intimate bond so lightly, then he might not be the right guy for you. In the days and culture of casual sex, it seems bad to say such a thing, but perhaps you should reevaluate if you want someone who would have that approach to a relationship, or if you should.

Let it go. Move on, and learn from this experience so that you can improve your life and you might just find someone who is a better fit for you.

I think you did the right the right thing, if you slept with him right away the relationship isn't going anywhere significant because he would have no respect for you, He and this girl are going no where. Of course there are exceptions but its doubtful. you did the right thing. I don't know you but I would have more respect for you now then if you did what that girl did. This should be a indication to you that this guy is not worth it and is probably only looking to you for sex as well. YOu are better then that but if you are into him. Just wait it out he'll break up with her.

Moving on is as tuff as forgiving "one-night-stand relationship". If you forgive he's gotta have something. Just are you sure? GOT PRIDE? He should be pretty easy to get

Fact - Guys think about sex ALL the time. Guys pass up great ladies if they 1 - want easy sex via someone 2 - fear relationship and worry you're that gal 3 - worry about a change in life, whatever it is, like no farts 4 - he's got your number, you're boring a suck and go gal 5 - not interested, but see fact, he still may do ya

Guys wanting just sex and lying about it, date to use. They get what they want, or have enough, appear as BFFs then you're broken up with, saying WTF. Players live sorta true, but not 100%, they can't be honest to tell you "I like you to stoop you, not date you" This can be OK if you want ass, but worry about genital funk and your emotions. Most guys will sex any lady who puts it out, "but move on cause that chick is a slut or boring

Guys that like you enough to have sex with you (above) and (sorta) trick you into it, is the guy that will hurt you most. He'll be in and out of your life, getting not giving, all the while you're just love drunk OR things seesaw good/bad for you. Of course other options possible, great sex, some interests, fake loyalty could be good

The guy that admits anti-relationship but likes you 4 you but will take sex is a guy being honest and gives equal choice. To play or not to. Don't get attached with this one. More honest is good but problem too, you play him. If he fears missing out, you win. Just gotta get him to hunt you, put the right pressure on. You're working with the truth up front, so better then above, but still. Wanting just sex, isn't a great thing, be careful. At least he's better than liar.

The man you mentioned seems not at all shy, just a pussy. Perhaps he's not aware that you confronted is hot and bothered go a good thing! Or you suck as a flirt, HA pun! His fear of doing something wrong kept him away, so he did nothing. Press any guys button and he's not shy, it's nature, he thinks he's doing something on his own, HUNTING, he can't help himself, but you broke the ice telling him it's ok to start to attack. No guy, uh MAN, settles for just booty, males pay for goodbyes. You balance the flirt as a push, make him feel in control, don't get too emotional or annoy, no cling, and tease his nature. make him want to prove his manhood

Use sex to your advantage. If he's with slut, be a seductive LADY but not overly forward, he's gotta want what he can't have. Change your style not to be a whore or annoying, but to get attention. With attention flirt. Be more fun more valuable then him or the slut, cooler, just enough so he responds, "what did I miss". You're working to seem attracted as amusement not serious intention, give him a bluff to call, playing sexy without sex showing him a tigress to tame, or at least you're there, open no ice. If not a pussy, he'll respond, you might realize who's better. Fun funny sexy talk

"Should I be kicking myself in the rear end for not being more aggressive?" yes
"Why would someone waste there time if there was no interest to begin with?" she saw what she wanted and wasted no time, she went for it, no head game, noy playing hard to get, she put all her cards on the table up front. he had an offer, no one else (thats you) made a real bid.
why should he have to stay lonely when he has an offer, just because you were sitting doing nothing?

a loosing battle. We are male by nature, and by nature that's our nature. It's hard to beleive I know, because women do not think this way. They think so arbitrarily but we men do not think in this matter. We are totaly different animals. When it comes to sexual things in life. Am I saying you have to do everything that walks, no. That's not at all what I'm saying. I'm just saying if your that truly interested you should have shown him so. It's kinda of like this.

Prime example. A man has a big penis, he thinks that he can satisfy any women automatically because of his penis size. Totally wrong, in reality if he has no skills it maybe be the worst lay you've ever had in your life right?

Same thing, just because your Physically attractive, doesn't mean he'll come crawling to you. There are some things you still have to do in order for there to be attraction. One is that you have to give him a reason to desire you. Other than your looks. Money etc. or whatever it may be.

See she saw this. She gave him something she did have that she knew any guy wants. Sex.

When she did this, he was like ya know. She might not be as cute, but hey she's pretty nice, etc. BLA BLA then he started noticing her other nice qualities too. which every person has there good qualities and things they are good at. He then noticed this, or these things and became more and more attached. Before you knew it she was his girl. And now I bet they are inseperable? Right? Exactly, that's how it works. Yes we may want sex. But we like other things too, not just that. Don't forget me saying that. It's not just about that, it's about SEX, AND EVERYTHING ELSE TOO! Sex is just one of our want's need's that if a girl/women is willing to satisfy we are content and happy. There are other things too, like social circles, friends, having a good time together doing things together spending time with each other etc. That we also enjoy just as much. But Sex is a major desire/want need of any male. Any male that says otherwise is most likely gay, married, or commited to another women, or maybe upset with the hole female race for some garbage they pulled. So hope this was of help this has gotten extremely long. And I hope maybe I got my point across to you that Yes we charish Sex but, we also like the other things too that you mentioned, so it's 50/50 see, and this other girl was obviously quicker to meet the other 50 percent of those needs.


Jason~

I wouldn't say we get turned off by it at all. Atleast speaking for myself as a guy in all honesty I'd say it's not a turn off, but a turn on assuming that I want the girl in the same way. If that's the case nope I'd say that's totally not true. Infact I married a girl once that I slept with on the first night. I know totally wrong supposedly but I knew there was something there from the second I layed eyes on here, and that was that, and new she was what I wanted so sex the first night didn't mean anything bad to me seeing as how I "Wanted it" And "Her" to begin with. The marrige only lasted 2 yrs. Although if we weren't young and stupid with some mistakes we had made it might have lasted a lot longer. So I'd say, idk. Maybe you should have been more aggressive. But only you know weather that's the case or not. I'm not you, I don't know the guy. ANd I'm definitely not him, so couldn't tell ya. The big thing to remember is guy's are so sexually driven, that when it's offered on a silver platter, we'll jump. In essence meaning, when girls say they have it bad in that other post I just read on this forum what they neglect to forget is how many hoolahoops they force guys to jump and pass through before they open up and say it's ok now? You get me? She realized that read that in him, and opened up the hoola hoops and put them aside and wella she's got him and now he's callin her his girl. Ofcourse. Because she made it easy didn't play games, didn't make him think well does she want me like that, does she care about me like that etc. He knew right away, "Uh ya, she's interested." Often times guy's get discouraged with playing the mind games, and just like it handed to them. It is much easier for them this way, and simplier too. Weather your fat/ugly/or cute, this is besides the point this is of the least of his concern. It should be obvious what he was interested in, and since you didn't provide that for him, he found a girl that did meet "His" demands in essence. Just like you have certain things you want. He does too, not to say he doesn't love you, not to say he doesn't care, not to say that's all he wants. But it is niave thinking to assume that he is different. And not the typical guy, they are all the same they all like the same things pretty much. There might be the occasional sway in thought processes by some but in all honesty all guys crave, and desire sex. So knowning that you can either do one of two things, use that knowlege to your advantage. OR, be sidelined by girls that obviously grasp this concept your entire life. And have guy's cheat on you, or have a future husband cheat on you for the same reasons. If perhaps you want to wait a little but you are interested let him know this, at least then he knows you are, and that it's not just disinterest. That way maybe he's less apt to sway. That's my advice. But the best thing to do is don't ignore his desires. IT's nature. And trying to fight mother nature is

Try to be understanding and put yourself in his shoes. It is possible that he actually likes this girl. So what if he doesn't go for the cuter one, maybe he's looking for the inner beauty. It is possible that he didn't feel a connection between you two.

Between the phone calls and text messages there might have been probes into what he was looking for. Hypothetical questions that you answered because it was fun but later realize that maybe those questions were important to him. Perhaps he didn't ask it but you volunteered information that turned him off.

I had that happen with a woman recently that the more I talked to her and found out how she was, the less likely I would ever ask her out. Sure we flirted but I decided that it would never work out.

I would just let it go for now, put him on the back burner but don't write him off. If/when that relationship of his fails, then talk to him and ask why he dropped off the face of the earth. Maybe his girl told him not to talk to other people. You can consider that he might be the guy for you but I wouldn't make him the only one.

Also, find out where you two are in life. If he wants to test the field to see what's out there, let him. If it's meant to be, it will be and he will return to a sure thing. You don't want to rope someone in who wants to test the field because they may cheat on you later. Curiosity killed the cat type thing.

this guy of yours is going to get up to a rude awakening

It sounds like the guy hasn't had much relationship experience, so when this girl instantly slept with him he sort of fell into the honeymoon period of loss of virginity or having not had sex in a while. I don't think guys often become pathetic and obsessed with girls after having sex at your age.

Aggressive is fine if the other person isn't aggressive. Think of it as two numbers that need to equal 100. If your guy is shy, the relationship might need to be 70/30. You need to make up for his shyness, etc.