ive been casually seeing this older guy. we have awesome conversations, he is very respectful and gives me attention in public, says I'm incredible, I'm on eof 2 good things that happened to him this year, etc... one problem; I like him a lot and I know he likes me too. he said 3 months ago (when we 1rst met) that he is in aftermath of his last verbally abusive ex but is open to a relationship and likes where me and him were going. since then; it has been pretty casual and we only chill once or twice a week really. we ususally always have sex cause sexual chem is amazing. we also cuddle and talk about alotttt of stuff (god, politics, etc). I don't thnk he is using me but lately he does refer to sexual things more often. I told him in beginning I like dhim and didn't want to focus solely on sex. I like the sex and feel it isn't a focus but afraid it might. waht should I say or do? I like the sex but I don't wanna end up getting hurt!
Talk it out with him. What reassurance do you want? To discuss sex less? More quality time? He seems serious about you and wants you to be comfortable in this relationship, but it will frustrate him if he knows neither what's wrong with the relationship nor what he could do about it.
I did talk things out with him. we decided that we are in the middle, not frens with benefits only but not totally committed. I explained that I didn't wanna focus on sex. he agreed but said we were trained as catholics to think sexis bad when it is part of human expression and does not lack emotion. he told me to feel secure because we have a connection and a lot in common. he also said he knows there's more depth to me, he wants to know more and that he's lucky to have me in his life. - More than a year ago
Answerer
I'm glad it worked out. Good luck. - More than a year ago
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Well you started out having sex with him so this situation is kind of your doing. Even if you have chemistry you shouldn't have slept with him until you knew he had feelings for you. Slow down on the sex and do more things with each other besides that. If he is not using you then he shouldn't have a problem with that.
I didn't have sex with him until we admitted to each other that we liked eachother. I knew him for almost a month before we had sex and it felt right . - More than a year ago
I would try to find out were him and the ex stand right now as well as you too. Is he treating you the same in bed or more aggrivated? I also would slow down on the sex and see what happens cause no one what's to get hurt.
I think that you should stop having sex with him. If he can't deal with not having sex then you know he wants. Also by you not having sex with him, you are kind of protecting yourself a little more from getting so hurt. I hope this is helpful.
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(Age:18 to 24)
When: More than a year ago
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