So I'm "kinda" together with this guy right now. We like each other but haven't made it official. Only thing is, he's 3 years younger than me. He's 18 and I'm 21. But he's so sweet. One thing I've noticed though, he gets really shy around me. He's afraid to make too many moves and when he does they're kinda awkward but so cute. I don't really mind. He's genuine. But I've already noticed that he's kinda clingy and I feel like I'm already kinda the dominator of the relationship and things. Is that usually the way things work with older girls dating younger guys? I just wish he would take a little more charge is all.
Your answer is no. The age has nothing to do with it. He sounds really shy and or inexperienced with relationships. Find ways to let him know he doesn't have to be so shy around you. Do it with out words
Yeah, it sounds like he's new to relationships. I would be patient with him as this is a work-in-progress/learning process, but also suggest that him taking charge a little more would be appreciated by you also. As far as initiating contact, planning activities, etc.
I don't think just because you are older that you will always have to "wear the pants". I simply think that he is 18 so his experience with relationships isn't as solid. He doesn't know completely how important it is to LEAD the girl. I tell this to all my guy friends. You (the man) gotta lead, lead, lead. Positive dominance. Once he knows that it's ok to lead the relationships in certain areas it will go better. I don't know how you want to tell him about these things, that's up to you. I'm sure if he was 24 and you were 27 or something he would through experience get relationships down better. Just simply tell him that it's ok if he leads you.
ps. When I say lead I mean, decide where you guys go for lunch, or what movie to go to. Things like that. Is that what he's so...innocent about?
Yeah kinda. And just like he's really shy and says awkward things when talking to me. Like it's almost like I have to suggest everything cuz' he's never been in a relationship and I have been lots of times. And he hasn't asked me to be his "girlfriend" yet. We're just in that stage getting to know each other but like each other. I just wish he would ask me already rather than waiting for me to ask him. And I feel like I have to always bring up what we're going to do. He just goes along w it. - 9 months ago
Answerer
Lol ya he's a nuby right now...now teach him for now...I know that's not how you want it to happen (girl like everything to "just happen"...lol) but you can't expect him to do things that just isn't in his reality right now. For right now you are going to have to be his training wheels. Hey think about it, this might bring you guys closer. - 9 months ago
Question Asker
Thanks. Yeah, I'll try. I guess I just don't want to come off as s b**** if I'm always saying "Hey let's do this. Or let's go see that movie." Or just casually grabbing his hand or his waist because I know he wants to do that to me but is just too shy. I thought guys usually like to be the dominator so I don't want his friends to start saying I've got him "ball and chain." I'm really not that type of girl. And I also don't want to move too fast, and make him second guess everything. - 9 months ago
Answerer
Lol ya I totally feel you...you see I've had to go through some relationships to "get the point". And yes I like to be "positively" dominant in my relationships. But I had to learn. All of us men do. It sometimes doesn't come natural to us.
It's weird, we both know what the solution is, but now how to get him to know that without sounding desperate/bossy/bitchy/too-dominant/weird...the list goes on...lol The key to remember is you naturally like him. He's a good kid at heart. - 9 months ago
Jezz where were these older girls when I was 18? Probably ignoring my anoying ass...
You just have more life experience then him and until he either catches up, you're going to have to let him call some shots regardless of how bad the plan is. I know when I lead, every time she would try to lead, I'd stop her in her tracks because it just wasn't the best way.
he's less mature than you so you need to take that into account. girls mature faster so he's probably about as mature as a 16 year-old girl. he's just gotta grow up at his pace, you can't force it.
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