I have been dating this guy for about a month.We met on a dating site. We both fell hard from day one and it has been a very passionate relationship. He wanted to take it slow, but it evolved pretty fast. He is newly divorced and now says that he wants to take a break for a few weeks but still talk. He states his reason is that he is confused and worried that this is a rebound thing. He is emotionally torn. Am I being played , does he just want to keep his options open to date other women, even though he says he is not doing that. Or is he taking time to look at this and decide? I know his feelings are strong for me but I am heartbroken. I feel like a bit of a fool. I think I know the answer but just checking.
You owe it to both him and yourself to let him sort things out.
You say that he wanted to take it slow, but "it evolved pretty fast." This implies that you had some role in expediting the process, so it would be unfair to say that you were "played." If you had intimate relations with him in the hopes that they would improve your relationship, your intentions may have been misguided. After all, intimacy is not a tool used to gain emotional favor, it's a method of expression.
Imagine if he hadn't taken this break. He'd still have the inner turmoil and feelings to sort through, but he'd still be with you. Then, if he ultimately decided that he didn't want to be with you after all, it would have been even more time spent together in a doomed relationship.
He's evaluating his feelings now for both of your sakes.
I am going through this now, I just went through a divorce but we have been separated for just about 2 years...the challenge that I had was I wanted to take it slow and he was overly...telling me everything that I wanted to hear...over and over and over. Made a promise for our future to where I had to step back and think I am crazy not to try. Well I jumped right in and things were great...better than great. We would talk at least 15 times a day. Traveled together. We have been together for over a year. Then last week he would call and have an excuse to why he could not talk...I knew something was off.........now he says that he is in over his head and decided we should be friends...I am sick and heartbroken now...so let him make sure that this is what he wants.
Thank you for your input and honestyu. You are correct. I do still chat with him from time to time, but also told him that I am moving on. I don't need his baggage along with mine! lol - 11 months ago
This sounds like a really hard experience - the whole "rebound" claim must have been especially hard to digest. You should definitely give him the space he's asking for and more space even. You deserve someone who's crazy about you and has no questions about his feelings, someone who's absolutely sure that you're awesome.
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(Age:Over 45)
When: 11 months ago
asked 5 days ago
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