This is kind of complicated so bare with me. I've been getting to know this guy via telephone and we've seen pictures of each other. Soon we're going to get together and meet up. He constantly tells me that he likes me and I feel it too. There's this connection between us that I can't really explain. However, we're so different, like worlds apart. I haven't had a boyfriend in a really long time and no it's not because I'm fat and ugly. It's just been impossible to meet someone.
My social life is very limited as well because most my friends have gotten either married or pregnant and have left me for their lives. The other friends I had became split up after a pair that was in a relationship broke up and all became hell because everyone was forced to choose so I was left with a couple of them only. It's been hard. I'm terrified that when we meet up he'll be disappointed by all this and just leave me because he'll think I'm a big loser.
He's 26 years old and very driven, very goal oriented, very upfront about what he believes and sometimes when I speak to him I feel like an immature, goaless, child who doesn't know what she wants from life despite my being 25. With that being said, I don't know what to do. I feel like running away from him before he gets the chance to hurt me. Stopping this and not let it evolve into anything before I give him "the power" to break my heart. I really like him though but it scares me to think he'll just be disappointed in me because I'm not a big party girl who's out at bars or w/e every weekend.
I'd love advice from both guys and girls over the age of 21. I don't think anyone under that age could grasp what I'm going through and please don't feel offended by this :)
The fact that you are not the party girl is probably something that he likes about you. And I'm sure he would understand that it isn't your fault about the friend situation. If he looked at you like a loser, he wouldn't like you, and he wouldn't talk to you.
So, if you are feeling defeat before things even get going, you have to stop thinking that way. Go into it like this could be the chance to get it right. If he sees you are making an effort, he will appreciate that.
What makes no complete sense is----if you've been getting to know him on the phone, don't you think by now he would have decided if you were a loser or not? Or have you not been clear about your 'goalless' life? You say you feel immature---well, are you immature, or you just feel intimidated by him....It seems to me that if he continues to talk to you is because so far he doesn't view you as a loser.
Now, not being a party girl is actually good; you say he is goal oriented and driven---these type of guys are not looking for party girls or girls that go to bars every weekend. Since when is that the cool thing that guys are looking for?
About running away....Sooner or later you have to face the music; is not clear from your post if you actually have goals or not for your life; but if you don't then now is the time to realize that you can't be living life like a teenager all your life.
I would say go on with the meeting and just let life take its course. Again, the fact that he is driven tells me that he is a smart guy, and I'm sure he would spot a loser girl if he were to speak to one. Since he still continues talking to you, then I wouldn't worry about appearing like a loser to him. And don't act like a victim already----'i feel like running away before he gets a chance to hurt me.' I seriously doubt this guy wakes up every morning thinking---hmmm, let me waste my time talking to this girl so I can later hurt her.
There is nothing more annoying than girls who go thru life going like victims. Grow up and grab life by its horns as the cliche says.
Well he has already seen you, and told you he likes you. So why would he still be wasting his time talking to if he was going to break your heart? There is no reason to be scared, if he didn't like you he wouldn't be wanting you to come down to visit him. You gotta take changes that's life, but I'm sure he is not going to break your heart. - 8 months ago
I know you said you wanted answers from only people over 21, but I understand too much of what you are talking about to not answer your question. I feel like you everyday of my life. Like, "if I just ended it all now, it would be easier right?" But, breaking the ties usually doesn't work out as it theoretically should. When you live cautiously, no one can hurt you. But when you live too cautiously, you end up sabatoging yourself and not really living. Being scared is normal. It just depends how you deal with the fear that makes you or breaks you. Just remember, if you want big rewards you gotta take big risks.
You know, you're pretty damn smart for your age :) I haven't logged in awhile and me and him aren't together anymore but trust me those words are gold. - A month ago
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