I've wondered for a long time why, if so many of my female 'friends' complained about being with 'jerks', I couldn't seem to catch the interest of the women that I liked (I was a NICE guy). Well, I've figured it out, I think.
I believe that women just don't know what they want. I think that they are looking for a man who's in CONTROL: of himself, others, life, her, etc. A man who is MASCULINE, not a good listener, not a sweet guy, not a doormat. I think it goes back to instinct... i.e. mate with the dominant male. So I've change myself, and now I am not a nice guy and I have had great success from just standing up for myself and being a confident, generative man.
So women, if you want to know why there are no nice guys, look in the mirror. And guys, Nice guys really do finish last, the assholes don't, the nice guy ends up taking care of his kids and the woman he ruined. What do you think?
Update: UPDATE: Thank you all so much for your input. I do appreciate it even if I disagree, Kyle
8 months ago
I think sexywiseman has it pretty figured out. people seem to talk about nice vs. jerks, but I don't think that's exactly the point. I think really its about confidence/assertiveness being extremely attractive (thats probably true for both genders) because we are all insecure about something. Rather than stop being a decent human being you just need to work on your socializing skills and confidence!!!!
I haven't stopped being a decent human being. In fact I think I'm a better man now because I don't take shit from anybody. You are right about the confidence and assertiveness, those made a world of difference for me, kyle - 8 months ago
N/A
(Age:18 to 24)
When: 8 months ago
Yeah, it's true that women don't know what they want. At least until they learn later that they want a nice guy. Lots of women think that they can fix a guy, even if he's an awful person. For example, my sister dated a criminal. He was in prison and everything and regardless of what we told her, she thought she could fix him. Some women are like that. Me, I prefer nice guys that has some confidence.
You don't have to turn into a total ass to get a girl, you just need to up your confidence. That's what lots of women look for. Just be yourself cause if you put up a front, then you'll never actually find someone who likes you for being you. Hope that helps.
Honestly, I agree with you about women not knowing what they want...we tend to change our minds a lot. As for the nice guy thing, my opinion, I know I get attracted to guys that are jerks because I like to see the bad side of people first and then find the good side later. With the nice guys, they portray to be so innocent like they wouldn't do you wrong...and that seems boring at the moment. Of couse that doesn't mean I'm only interested in jerks and not nice guys. but I think that is why jerks get more attention...I think vice versa for guys too...I notice guys tend to fall for the bitches then the good girls...so I think it works both ways for both sex.
I'm dating a good guy now, not the usual guy I would go for...and already I found out that he was being shady with his phone call and meeting with his ex and all. From experience, when I dated the jerks, at least they were up front that they are assholes. But for this guy, he try to keep his good profile yet still do shitty things behind my back. So overall everyone has flaws....and good in them so there is really no "nice" guy. Its more like one choose to show it while other choose to hide it.
I see what you mean, a lot of 'nice guys' are just acting that way, and it MUST seem leary to a woman who has known all her life what men are really after. BTW, if he's like that, he's not really a nice guy, and there are REAL nice men out there. Trust me - 8 months ago
Answerer
Oh i'm sure there is, but they would still have flaws because no one is perfect. its all about accepting someone for the imperfections. That is the hard part. - 8 months ago
Question Asker
So true, so true. But it's also true that everyone puts on their best side in the beginning, even the assholes. They just get worse and the nice guy just gets desperate, so I guess you have to pick your poison in this game. - 8 months ago
Sounds like he was actually a bad boy. A wolf in sheep's clothing. I like the nice guys. It's a turn-on when they finally show they can be frisky. We know you nice guys are not innocent. We also know the devilishness is just for us and no one else. : - 8 months ago
Women like jerks because they don't see them as jerks. We try and see the best in everyone and hang on to impossible relationships. And for your information, I know tons of nice guys. And they have great luck with women.
Anyways, you can be a total sweetheart and still take care of a woman. You can be an amazing person and still be in control of your life. But at the same time you can be a nice guy and be a shitty companion.
Jackasses are not the result of women who don't know what they want. They're the result of people who have their heads stuck up their butts.
I think you've totally got it wrong babe. And I'm sure the 'NICE GUYS' that you know are not your boyfriends and will never have the chance. And as far as being an amazing person and still in control, most nice guys give in to the woman, that's not control - 8 months ago
Answerer
Okay, you just completely contradicted yourself. First women are only attracted to hypermasculine dominant types, yet most guys "give in to women"? And the nice guys I know, they definitely have chances. Underconfident pushovers? A whole different story. - 8 months ago
Question Asker
I said nothing of Hypermasculine being the only ones women like, but yeah ur right about the pushovers. And women seem to love contradictions, so I have no prob contradicting myself. - 8 months ago
To the asker: Then we agree. Nice guys are sexy but no one likes a wet blanket. I'm a tough girl so I want someone who can handle my attitude, so pussies are out of the question. Don't generalize about women so much though, contradictions aren't my thing. - 8 months ago
Question Asker
Nice guys are sexy, but you want someone who can handle a tough attitude? That's a contradiction right there dear. But you are right, I shouldn't generalize all women, but there are similarities between all men/women, it's what mkes us our sex. - 8 months ago
Answerer
For me, there's a difference between nice and unable to handle my personality. I'm opinionated and he needs to be able to assert himself too. - 8 months ago
Question Asker
Sounds like one of my girls. Amanda is a capricorn and rather opinionated, but she still loves that I'm decisive, confident, and in control of her (her words). One thing I've learned: pretty faces are common, a man like me is very rare. - 8 months ago
I think, that for some god forsaken reason, you're correct. Women really don't know what they want. And guys change what they want daily. At least in my opinion. We definitely want someone masculine, or at least most of us. Personally I don't want someone controlling, but then again it seems like the majority of women will stay with someone who IS controlling and then just complain it about it to their friends, and their friends who are still the 'nice guys'.
I think the point I am really trying to make is that women seem to like a man who is all contradictions: Friendly but powerful, nice but masculine, happy but calm/cool, interested but not head over heels, in control but not controlling, etc. BTW, Thanks - 8 months ago
you're right. Sort of. Personally, I want a nice guy who is sensitive to others but can assert himself when necessary. Knowing how to act as the situation arises. Deep down, though, he has to be empathetic and not a jerk. - 8 months ago
Question Asker
Sure, but that person deep down isn't exactly easy to show at the beginning of a relationship. If I showed my good/sweet side right away, I'd scare off 90% of the women I meet. I found that women want to DISCOVER the good aspects, not be shown them, K - 8 months ago
What Guys Said
N/A
(Age:Under 18)
When: 6 months ago
There are nice guys out there its just s6metimes they aren't a good looking as the jerks but every blue moon there are nice good looking guys
I think boys and girls hold different definition of the "nice guy." Boys think that "nice guys" are those who do what the girl says, gives her gifts, shower her with compliments, gives her all that she asks by words, buys her stuff; you get the idea? Girls, whom I've dated, define "nice guys" as, not a doormat or the above definition, but as a gentleman who listens to her, not look at boobs/ass, loyal, not look at other girls, talks about something other than his member or sex, and one who does not interact with the girl just for sex. You know, men like to hunt, and women like to nest.
With the internet being so prevalent, many boys nowadays go online and look for dating advice, or advice to get laid or get girls they want. In many of the guides, especially the free ones, the advice is for the boys to be jerks, they say women are attracted to that. While the dating guru understands what he means, the reader may not; thus now so many guys act like "jerks" when approaching women. The male definition of "nice guys" do finish last, and the female definition of "nice guys" distinct themselves among the so many males who try to attract the opposite sex. ^ ^
I have throw a flag on the play,I've had very rough life. And maybe I'm a late bloomer,i haven't had any luck w/women. I've tried just about everything known to hook up w/chick. I'm a nice guy, but literally close about women. I see myself as a prospect,can't tell you how many times. I've thought ok,this didn't,that didn't, I'm to the point of giving up why bother with the heartache? Here's something for chicks to think about. I can't tell you how many yrs I gave up,to be the nice guy I am. and to avoid the pitfalls being a drunk,not doing drugs,not getting arrested. I think women should ask themselves What about men that have overcome adversity? let's face it everyone will face some sort of adversity in their,some sooner than others and that's my 2-cents
I can't all the text in here but a guy on craig's wrote a pretty interesting rant on this subject: http://www. Craigslist. Org/about/best/lax/483318927. Html
But in the long run, nice guys do get the girl. Its later in life when women figure out that some guys will never change and assholes will always be assholes. Women (not all women) think they can "change" a man into being the man they want. And it usually never happens. I just wish women could figure it out before they sleep with 20 guys to find out what they want.
Remember, I speak in general, so please forgive if I offend.
You really think so? Read what the girls say dude. This is, sadly, one of the common mis-conceptions that the nice guy gets the girl. Only in Movies and your dreams. Not trying to be an ass, but you might want to rethink things. No offense meant either. - 8 months ago
Answerer
None taken. Most of the girls I know that are MARRIED, not just dating, seem to end up with a really nice guy. Girls that are with assholes are the "drama" couple you see at every party or bar. Thats also why 50% of all marriages don't work. - 8 months ago
Question Asker
Yes, but those married women are probably also OLD. I want to meet a woman and get into a long term relationship before I'm 40. So I gave up the Nice Guy in order to get with the gals while I don't need Viagra ;) - 8 months ago
I feel ya on that one. I hate to be an ass, but when I'm out with a bitch... she doesn't get her way. I have noticed that some of those 'bitches' are ok ... I've found that the gals who act all perfect and innocent can have worse problems later on. - 8 months ago
(Age:18 to 24)
When: 8 months ago
(Age:Under 18)
When: 6 months ago
