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Flyhigh

What should I have done so I know what to do in the future (if I need to)?
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Flyhigh (Age:18 to 24)     When: 7 months ago
Views: 103     Category: Dating
I had strong feelings for this girl for about 2 years or so. At one point it was sounding as though she wanted to end her relationship with her current boyfriend and pursue one with me. (Her boyfriend was known to psychologically/physically abuse her.) We started to have a relationship, but she was secretly still seeing him. (I didn't know for a few weeks.) So out of fear she continued her relationship with him. I had tried talking to her, but after a few years she married him. Should I have just ended pursuing a further relationship in that situation or should I have tried harder? (NOTE: I had strong feelings for her until she said she was getting married.)
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Stay Friends, Not pursue anything further.
Try to justify myself and pursue the relationship in this situation.
Do what I did and end the pursuit.
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Anonymous User
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Anonymous User (Age:Over 45)      When: 7 months ago
I think you did the right thing .and I don't think she continued her relationship with him out of fear, now think of this who would won't to get back in a relationship with some one that can physically hurt that person, she still cared for him even though he abused her.so since she went and married the jerk no way would I want her back .cause even if you did ever take her back she would still continue this and do the same thing again to you. and don't let this fool you she wasn't to scared of him ..she was out of the relationship and she went back cause she wanted to.
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Question Asker It is easier said than done. I didn't mention this but I had saved her from suicide (she was very depressed with family/relationship problems.) In my mind, I wanted a relationship. I wanted to be her knight in shining armor. To help her, to love her.. - 7 months ago
Eurasian-Miss That's so beautiful that you were able to experience these emotions. But, I agree, you're better off without her. Now the best thing to do is move on and find the girl that'll truly care about you and appreciate all you have to offer. Good luck! - 7 months ago
 

What Guys Said
Stanley
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Stanley (Age:30 to 35)      When: 7 months ago
I think it's a bad idea to pursue a relationship with a woman who is in or who has been in a physically or emotionally abusive relationship. These types of relationships don't appear overnight and the women who are in them tend to have a hard time breaking the pattern. When you fail to be as unstable ("exciting") you will just get your heart broken.

Like you said, she ended up marrying the guy. Why? Well because she actually digs the way he treats her. It's as dumb as it gets (and I'm sure people will argue fear or low self-esteem) but some people are that way.

There's a better, more fun girl out there for you.
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