Anonymous User

Is it normal to date someone who is 20 years younger than me while the mother is 2 years older than me?

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Anonymous User (Age:36 to 45)     When: 6 months ago
Category: Dating

I'm in love with a girl who is 20 years younger than me, but her mother is 2 years older than me. I'm 40, she is 20 and her mother is 42. Can this really work? Her mother is happily married with 4 kids. But all of her kids are very well legal in age And her fourth kid is 4 years old. A few years ago I wanted to talk to this girl who is 13 years younger that me, but her mom is also 2 years older me. But she said that her mom wouldn't like it.


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    From Guys  
3
From Girls  
6
 

What Girls Said

  • Jbgurl20
    1448  
    6 months ago
    She could be your daughter you know? You must know that she's still very young for you, she need to grow up first. If you marry a girl her age, you might end up marrying a little girl. Consider the differences, she may like things you don't even know, you may like things she may not even heard or saw in her entire life. Imagine, you were thirty when she was just a ten year old kid. You were twenty when she was just a newly born baby. She's still a child inside, I know that because I am only a year older than her. Talking about her mother, her mother may not like you because you are almost her age. You maybe a good man but that doesn't mean you can understand her daughter's feelings because you are too old for her. I am not saying dating a younger girl is bad. If you two like each othere then go for it. There is nothing wrong with being with someone you love, beside age doesn't matter, right?if she likes you too then its better.

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    • Question Asker
      6 months ago
      Yeah, but I would never even think about having kids that young. I believe in having kid when you are married. But it doesn't always happen that way. She could never seen like my daughter. We are 2 different races. And yes she is still learning. Probably why she likes me. She does knows how old I'm am. But it's the mother it's her parents that I'm concern about. I don't need their permission. She is old enough to make her own decision now. That's why she is talking to me. Just want their Blessing
  • want2helpout84
    1034  
    6 months ago
    Dating is supposed to be a mature thing to do. Mother's don't count.

    If you two are equally attracted then go for it. but I learned from family that age does make a difference because you'll be 50 when she'll be 30 and when you guys get settled and have kids, will you still have the energy?

    Source
    From experience...

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    • Question Asker
      6 months ago
      I been competing in track and field since high school and still training and competing. And I don't look my age. So yes I do have the energy. That's not a problem at all. I'm actually better shape than she is, haha. But thanks for your comment :)
  •  
    Anonymous User
    N/A  
    Anonymous User
    6 months ago
    Don't think its not normal.
    A lot of people have partners that are a lot older or younger.

    If the realtionship is right then I don't see why it should be a problem.
    Others may disagree with that, but when its love its love.
    It's hard to imagine I would do that... but becuase of the situations I have grown up in
    I know there is nothing wrong with it.

    Do what feels right and respect the girl :)

    Please answer my sexuality question :)

    link

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    • Question Asker
      6 months ago
      Ok :)
    • Answerer
      6 months ago
      I've seen all of them so far but I guess you went anon? :)
    • Question Asker
      6 months ago
      Did you see my response from your question?
    • Answerer
      6 months ago
      Thats OK and Thanks:) I hope things eork out how you want
    • Question Asker
      6 months ago
      Thanks, and I will :)
  • proudteaxasgirl
    6657  
    6 months ago
    Can you blame her mother? Of course her mother would not like it. There would be something very wrong if her mother did NOT have a problem with it. What is wrong with dating someone closer to your own age and has more in common with where you are at in your life? You have nothing in common with a 20 year old, and if you do, there's something else wrong. She barely out of high school. She isn't even done growing yet. She can't even legally drink.
    As a 20 year old myself, I would smack one of my girlfriends if she wanted to be with a 40 year old man. You will never have anything in common with her and her friends.

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    • Question Asker
      6 months ago
      Ok, well looks that's something I'm going to have to deal with. Shall I say something that we both have to deal with. She is in my life for reason and I'm I'm her life for a reason. Or we would have never met. But it's seen every girl that I have a neutral attraction there's always a conflict. But this has to be different this time.
    • Answerer
      6 months ago
      Whether you have kids or not does not make you more mature/older/etc. Again, I know plenty of girls who are my age, who have at least one kid if not more, and they are no where near as mature or as far in their life as I am. Yes, I think she will probably still be concerned. You are still 20 years older than her baby girl. I don't think you not having kids will really make that much of a difference in her mother's mind.
    • Question Asker
      6 months ago
      Yeah, I would agree. Just because the mother is 2 years older than me. But I hope she will not go totally against. I mean all of her kids are legal. She is 42 and her oldest daughter is 26 and married, the middle daughter is 21. Her only son is 22. And not only she became a grandmother I'm her mid thirties. She had another child after her youngest daughter had her first kid when she was 37. Technically she is way older than me. Because I don't have any kids. You think she would still be mad?
    • Answerer
      6 months ago
      I was under the impression that you were asking "is it normal to date someone who is 20 years younger than me?"
      I've always dated guys older than me, and depending on how big the age difference was, my parents were a little concerned. But I never dated someone SO much older than me. She thinks her mom won't be happy with it (and rightfully so), so that is probably what will happen.
    • Question Asker
      6 months ago
      I haven't met her mom yet and her mom is 2 years older than me. We don't know how she would think of her daugther dating a guy who is 2 years younger than her.That's why I'm asking. I'm asking about the mom not her. Have you heard of this situation and what happen? I just want to know what to expect.
    • Answerer
      6 months ago
      Then why are you asking? You're asking for people's opinions but defending everything tooth and nail. If you like her and she wants to be with you, do it. If you won't take advice, then why does it matter what a bunch of people on the internet think?
    • Question Asker
      6 months ago
      You didn't read my comment at all. Well let me clarified 3 kids or more. And ladies who have kidd and they are all legal. That's too much for me. And yes,Im aware of teen pregnancy. She not a teen anymore so leave that alone. But you are missing the whole point of why I ask the question. Me and her have neutral attraction. So, I'm not worry about that.
    • Answerer
      6 months ago
      Having a kid just means she's not a virgin anymore. Doesn't make her any more mature than any other 20 year old. I went to high school with plenty of teen moms to know that that is true. And also, you just made a point to talk about how you don't want to be with someone your own age because they have kids.
    • Question Asker
      6 months ago
      What is the mindset of a twenty year old? Keep in mind they are not all the same. And she do has a kid.
    • Answerer
      6 months ago
      -_- Before you ASSUME, my current boyfriend is 5 years older than me. Previous boyfriend was 8 years older than me. I understand an age gap. I also understand how sometimes it doesn't work because you are at completely different places in your life. There is a huge difference between a 5 year age difference and a 20 year age difference though. And I know the mindset of a 20 year old.
    • Question Asker
      6 months ago
      I have a big age range. I guess it's because my parents are 22 years apart from each other. I bet your parents are either the same age or a few years apart. And that's why you don't believe in couples with a big age gap. Believe me I've tried dating females my age. But it's either they aren't attracted to me or I'm not attracted to them. Some been through bad relationships and have their guards up. And my kindness run them away. Some have been married and have too many kids. I have none.
  •  
    Anonymous User
    N/A  
    Anonymous User
    6 months ago
    Is not hugely common... but yes its normal...
    Its a hard subject... a lot of people would object to it.
    My dad was 23 years older than my mum and they started the realtionship when she was 21. They were madley deeply in love and it really worked!
    He was well liked by my mums dad and the rest of the family.

    If its love it will work out, age doesn't always matter. It depends on the foundations of the relationship and how you work together.

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    • Question Asker
      6 months ago
      Thanks, my parents are 22 years apart. Unfortunately they are not together. But that doesn't me that it will happen to us.
  • Auraann
    1280  
    6 months ago
    I'm 26 I don't think I could date someone who is 46 . Would you date some one who would be nearly 70 when you are the age you are now? What's wrong with women closer to your age?

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    • Answerer
      6 months ago
      I don't understand your response?
    • Question Asker
      6 months ago
      Umm..it depends. If she have kids and they are all 18 and up. Then no I wouldn't. Her mom have kids who are all legal except for one.
 

What Guys Said

  • aMuse
    23003  
    6 months ago
    I find it hard to relate to many 20 year old girls at 31. I'm sure that's exacerbated at 40 thus why you are asking to begin with... While I wouldn't at that age, if she's fine with it, and you are as well then do what you want. It really depends on the girl and where she's at in life. I can't say that I've met a ton of emotionally mature, responsible adults that are 20 or younger. Some start to get there around 22 to 25, but are still figuring things out.

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    • Question Asker
      6 months ago
      She doesn't want to let me go. And she is mature for her age. But at the sametime. I believe she like me because I have a lot of life experience.
  • comeback
    -1  
    6 months ago
    i say be a man and take what you want
    if the girl likes you and you like her I don't see a reason why yous wouldn't go for it just because it makes some people puke.

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    • Question Asker
      6 months ago
      Thanks
  • Stitches
    27481  
    6 months ago
    These girls barely have life experience and you're exploiting that weakness for your own sick pleasure. It's not wrong, afterall you like what you like. It's just really f***in inappropriate.

    They CAN look after themselves, sure. It's NOT breaking any law. But come on. You're behaving like a child. You know what the ramifications are for choosing partners who could be your daughters. You're a grown man. Now man up and deal with the consequences. If you can't handle it, go for women in your neck of the woods.

    You have 500 characters left
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    • Question Asker
      6 months ago
      I will man up.
    • 6 months ago
      Well said
 
   
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