Sequins7

Is this guy interested if all he's doing is texting me?
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Sequins7 (Age:25 to 29)     When: 4 months ago
Category: Dating

So here's the deal... About 7 months ago, I met this guy at a party and we seemed to hit it off really well. I could tell he was into me. He'd find way to touch me or kinda get in closer when I'd shift my stance. That kind of thing. He was definitely engaged in our conversation, which lasted several hours until the party ended. On the way out, he offered me his number but, instead, I gave him mine and he called my phone so I had his. I assumed that maybe the reason he didn't ask for my number was because he was shy and thought it might be safer to give me his. Anyway, we texted non stop after the party... Flirting, getting to know each other, the whole 9 yards. But here's where it gets confusing... We are STILL texting. Haven't seen each other since the party. We've discussed making plans, but he has a highly demanding job and works nights. I have a regular 9-5. He says its not that he doesn't want to get together, but every time we try to set something up, it falls through because of something on his end. But he continues to text me. What is going on here?! Is this guy interested in me and just doesn't have time, or am I being strung along as an open option if and when he decides he wants to date someone?
3000 characters left  Anonymous
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Answers
    From Guys  
3
 From Girls  
2
 

What Guys Said
  • asianfreak
    5213  
    asianfreak
    4 months ago
    If that's all he can do, then he implies he's not fully interested in you.

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  • PhilaPenn
    3350  
    PhilaPenn
    4 months ago
    I'd leave it alone

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  • madhatters4
    8175  
    madhatters4
    4 months ago
    This guy sounds like he's not as into it as you may think. No one's job is so demanding that in 7months they couldn't make time to go out with a girl they are interested. Not even the president's schedule is that busy.

    The fact that it never progressed from texting tells me he is either not that into you or he is a poor communicator.

    I wouldn't say you are being strung along since you could have easily called him at any time but it does sound (pretty sure) that he isn't that into you otherwise he would've made an effort to spend time with you

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    • Answerer
      4 months ago
      i mean it may freak him out since you two aren't dating officially, but there has been a long span of back and forth and him leading you on (intentionally or not) and you shouldn't dangle on a string for so long.
    • Question Asker
      4 months ago
      I want to talk to him about it but, because I'm not his girlfriend, isn't that a little serious at this point? I don't want to come off as a psycho, because I'm not. I'm actually a really laid back, chill girl. I get that guys need to be guys and all that. Which is why I'm not putting pressure on him - I don't think that'll help my case. But you're right - its not fair to me. And this can't go anywhere like this. Is it crazy to say something though since he's technically not accountable to me?
    • Question Asker
      4 months ago
      Truthfully, I wasn't going into this with any expectations - I just wanted to see if it ended up going anywhere. I like him a lot, but I didn't want to put pressure on it. But with the amount we've been texting, I've come to like him more and I'm stuck in this limbo of "do I continue this hoping he'll come around or do I jump ship on him and see how he reacts?" I'm having a hard time walking away, but this isn't happening, so what other option do I have?
    Show Older Comments
    • Answerer
      4 months ago
      he's bad in relationships? he's a bad communicator? Take your pick... I think your best option is just communicate what you feel. Tell him plainly what your expectations are and what you want and tell him you want to know how he feels and feel like the relationship is going nowhere without a candid conversation on the matter. Tell him that if something can't be achieved that it is only fair to you to move on because you can't/won't dangle on his string forever
    • Question Asker
      4 months ago
      If the dude's not interested, why won't he just say that? You don't know me, but I'm about the most honest, straightforward girl you'll ever meet, and I don't see the point in even texting with someone I don't have interest in, so why would he? It's the reason I keep this door open... Bc why would he even bother if he didn't have interest? Especially since he's the one that offered me his number 1st, called me 1st and continues to compliment me and all that... It just doesn't add up.
    • Question Asker
      4 months ago
      We've talked on the phone too, but we text all day, everyday since that party. Every once in a while, there's a 1-2 day break, but it always picks up again. His job is no excuse, I agree, but he's an undercover cop, so his hours are crazy. I ask about being strung along because he insists that he wants to hang out, even when I give him the option to throw the towel in by just being honest with me if he really doesn't want to see me. But he always replies with, "that's not the case" and I don't get it
 

What Girls Said
  • 3boys4me
    2199  
    3boys4me
    4 months ago
    7 months and no face to face girl? Yeah he's just stringin you along. WTH are you waiting around for? MOVE ON

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  • Lorelei2323
    -1  
    Lorelei2323
    4 months ago
    I feel that if a guy wants to see you then he will. You guys met 7 months ago and he hasn't had time? It seems that he is keeping his options open/ might just want to be friends. Have you tried not responding to his text messgaes for a couple of days? At this point I would say you guys are friends and not get your hopes up. Go out with other guys.

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    • Question Asker
      4 months ago
      I've considered putting him on the spot/calling him out, but I'm not his girlfriend. He doesn't owe me any explanations because he's technically not accountable to me. But he's said things to me that don't leave room for misinterpretation, which is why I think he's trying to keep me as an open option if he decides to take it. Bc if he's not interested, then he's been sending me some severely mixed signals. You prob think I'm an idiot for even holding out, but he's given me reason to think I should.
    • Question Asker
      4 months ago
      I haven't tried not responding, mostly because I was hoping that he'd eventually get a clue. I'm sure a lot of people say this about themselves, but I'm a great catch, and I can't understand why I have such an issue finding guys who are great catches, too. I just so badly want to meet someone worth spending my life with, and I didn't want to give up on him without trying first. Bc he's a great guy - we get along so well and just fit well together. But I don't know why he doesn't see that.
  
   
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