In the beginning, I was dating a girl that I went through many hard times with. I've never cheated on my ex. I had many friends and family members helping me through the situation. Some of the friends where female. For those friends I am very grateful.
I have a memory card in my phone, so I never delete pictures I receive. Its nothing at all bad.
I now have a girlfriends who comes in after I make friends with all of these females, but my girlfriend doesn't agree that a few of these females are my friends and believes they want to take her place as my girlfriend. I have attempted to assure her of the relationship between me and the friend, and even has taken her to meet them. She still believes a few of them want me.
She has said it so much that I began to believe her, but its not true. I don't want to lose my friend, but I don't want to lose my girlfriend. I thought it was a trust issue, but she assures me that it is not. Now I feel funny talking to some of my friends, even though I know I should not feel that way.
Now one friend in particular has sent me more pics then all my other friends. I call her my Momma. I call her that because she acts like my mother. She doesn't call often or any thing, maybe 2-3 times a week. When I first let them talk it was on the phone, and she didn't have much to say, so my girl believes she likes me. I asked her not to send me any more pics, but I told her my phone was not accepting them. I erased all the previous photos. Oh yeah she used to talk to a close friend of mine, and I'm the one who introduced them.
I love all my friends and I would do any thing for any of them. That's just who I was made to be. I told my girl if any of them tried anything on me, I'd tell them the deal, and I would be more cautious of how friendly I was to that person in the future.
What do you think of my Girlfriend? What do you think I should do about my friends? What do you think of my play Momma? What do you think of how I would handle the friends who made a move?
It sounds to me that your girlfriend has some very serious control issues. If you let her get control over this, she will gain more control. If you don't feel that your friends, that are girls, want something then they probably don't. The caveat to all of this is that your friend who only talks to you 2 - 3 times a week may be getting more emotional commitment from your relationship than you realize you are providing. Be careful with that one but more importantly be extra careful of your new controlling girlfriend.
Excellent insight to the female thought process. She can be very controling. We are still together, and I have noticed some of the things mentioned in your advice. I noticed a friend being overly "wanting" of my emotional commitment. I cut her down. Me & my girlfriend got into an arguement & straightened out that situation. SO thank you, I just wish you would have answered sooner.
1) Your girlfriends intuition is the best answer 2) Friends are there through thick and thin and if they wanted you they would have made their move already 3) Momma could just be protective and wants your approval of her looks, thus why all the pictures. But, Momma knows you have a girl and seems to have other motives 4) f they make a move. Then they did not have you in their best interest. They would have to go.
I just noticed after coming back to this question...that you refered to yourself as a Loving White Girl... I think that's what threw you over the top to get the best answer... Thanks for the advice. I came back this late to consider who had the best advice. Your #2 & 3 in my opinion were your standout answers...BC...both are true...I think... Thank you for lending me your time & understanding.
1- Your girls just jealous of them. By her meeting your friends and talking to some on the phone I would say if she thinks a few of them like you then she's probably right. The best way to get over it is not to give her a reason to be jealous, although it doesn't sound like you give her one, except maybe that nickname thing with the one girl- you called mama- if you don't nickname your girl. 2-If they really your friends and just want friendship they'll understand if you tell them that you have a jealous girlfriend. Since they talked to her they probably already know and they would try and help you avoid conflict with her involving them. 3- Does she know you call her mama, if so then she's okay, but what could be making your girl jealous is that your play mama gets more time than the other friends which makes her stand out. 4- What friends who made a move? If any one of your friend girls made a move- your girl was right and they want more than friendship!
Initially, your answers were the BEST! 1-4 The other answer only topped you because of her reference to Being "a loving..." like me. The only way for to really know the best answer was to wait & read them again later. Your break down for each subject was very much like how I thought the situation to be. I hope you answer any questions I ever make hear. Thank you so much for the quality of your answer. - 4 months ago
What Guys Said
N/A
(Age:30 to 35)
When: 7 months ago
Intuition is sketchy and has absolutely nothing to do with reality when it comes to the clouding ability of insecurity and jealousy. Your girlfriend should trust you and your friends should respect your relationship. Intuition, what a joke.
I agree... I tried to get rid of that reason for her to be insecure, and jealous, but it lives on... She has come a long way in trusting me. My friends respect my relationship because they too try & give m advice to keep her happy. SO thank you for your insights.
Your girlfriend DOES have trust issues. Everyone had a life before the one they have now. It doesn't sound like anything inappropriate is happening so, keep your friends, who were there for you through hard times, and tell the girlfriend to deal or hit the road. If any one of my friends disrespected my relationship by making a move on me well, that would end the friendship. I think your head and heart are in the right place.
I did exactly that! I didn't do that because you said too, but because that's who God made me. People need me friends included. I have never cheated on any girl that I have ever dated. Good read on the personality advice. Thank you for taking the time to understand.
I think your girlfriend is indeed jealous of your friends. Now you have to ask yourself the question, which is more important to you? It doesn't sound like your girlfriend is going to change her attitude about this. One thing to think about, is how would you feel if she had all of these guy friends she talked to, and carried pictures of? I know I would be jealous of my girlfriend if she did this. It seems only natural for her to feel this way, even though you may not be doing anything wrong. Just decide between them-friends or girlfriend! It doesn't appear you can have both!
Well...I deleted the previous photos, and asked my her not to send me more. I also try to never give her reason to be so jealous. In the end though I think she was jealous that I had such friendships where we all were so close & caring. Where her friends did not give that same loving-ness feel. I chose her, but she had to understand that I want to be with her & not them. that it would never be more. Thanks for this...I will need to remember what you said.
Talk really deep with your girlfriend and clear EVERYTHING up. Keep your friends as close as you can. They are hard to find. Your "mama". Don't lead her on if she starts to flirt and such. Tell her your sorry and your taken. And for the friends. Tell your baby who it is. And you will handle it. If she trusts you then its all good. Just be sure you handle it and a good way.
I did this initially. It wasn't until she saw that I loved my friends because they're all close friends, that she just kind of caught on. She explained that she wasn't used to such friendships where people actually loved each other so much and were so mature about it. Thats some good advice for someone so young... Keep growing...your going to be great for some...
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(Age:30 to 35)
When: 7 months ago
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