Anonymous User

She's scared to meet, what should I do?
Average Rating: Not yet rated!
Your Rating: 
MiserableBoringEnjoyableInterestingFascinating
  
Anonymous User (Age:18 to 24)     When: 2 months ago
Category: Dating

So we'd been flirting and getting to know each other, she suggested I should take her out before next Valentine's day.

However, she had been seeming off lately with the "busy" hints, etc and even mentioned about being put off meeting up:

me - Wouldn't mind getting to know you more :-) x
her - What do you want to know x
me - Wondering when you are free at the weekend for me to call you? x
her - Got a pretty busy weekend to be fair like I don't know if I'll have time! x
me - It's alright I get the hint, I guess that offer of taking you out will have to go to somebody else x
her - I just feel a bit weird about talking to someone on the phone and stuff that I've never met or seen, sorry if you think that is weird x
me - was suggesting we could meet soon, but if that's what you really want... x
her - Meeting a randomer though.. It's like, I dunno. x
me - if it's because you like someone else then do that, at least you'll be happier. I'm alright meeting up but if you aren't then I can't force it.. You seem to have your mind made up x
her - No its not that. But I have a very over protective best friend who seems to think you're going to kidnap me and keep me in your basement x
me - Haha, sense of humour too! I wouldn't risk my future like that for the sake of a girl, but if its something you're not comfortable with, not much I can do.. I'd want you to be safe x

Then she doesn't reply. Should I just leave it and move on? I can't force her to meet with me. Maybe IF she's eventually comfortable then she'll come into contact again.

I'm feeling like I should stop contacting her now and only send her something if she sends something first..
3000 characters left  Anonymous
Question Id
When you are on a question page, id of that question can be found in your browser address bar (URL). Ex: This question id is 815951

Answers
    From Guys  
2
 From Girls  
2
 

What Girls Said
  • CatholicVirginia
    13785  
    CatholicVirginia
    2 months ago
    "if it's because you like someone else then do that, at least you'll be happier. I'm alright meeting up but if you aren't then I can't force it.. You seem to have your mind made up"
    That is one big guilt trip. It's you assuming the victim portion of the story, and now she is pressured to either let you go and be the victim, or to come meet you and convince you she likes you. Either way, the point is, she's pressured. Personally, I rebel against pressure.

    "I wouldn't risk my future like that for the sake of a girl"
    What the heck?

    Offer to her to meet in a public place where she feels comfortable, for just a cup of coffee and she can leave quickly. Then back off a bit. If she says no, don't keep offering to meet if you keep talking to her. She needs to get comfortable with you. She needs to know you are interested in HER and her mind, not that your only desire is to meet her.
    You have 500 characters left
    Submit Comment
    • Question Asker
      2 months ago
      I'm thinking of letting her text me next as I texted last. I don't want to play mind games, but after what's been said, etc, I want to see if she's interested enough to initiate it with me. I feel like I should back off and not act as interested as I have been.
    • Answerer
      2 months ago
      It's up to you, hon. Handle it the way you usually would. I would let her text me next, or wait a few days, but that's me.
    • Question Asker
      2 months ago
      Confused lol, she seems scared of meeting me after what her friend had mentioned, tells me she finds it "weird" texting/calling someone she hasn't met, ignores my text about meeting, then reacts to my accidental unfollowing on twitter, then keeps replying? possibly being playful?

      I ended the text after I woke up with "Be our little secret", she hadn't replied as there was nothing to reply to. Should I let her contact me next time? I feel like teasing her seems to be working better
    Show Older Comments
    • Answerer
      2 months ago
      Yeah I'm having trouble following that conversation as well.
    • Question Asker
      2 months ago
      Basically rest of it went..

      me - You wish
      her - Stop being grumpy with me or I'll have to..
      me - ... 'accidentally' unfollow me!
      her - We going to keep arguing then yeah?
      me - Unless you have it in your heart to forgive me
      her - Sarcastic
      me - Shouldn't you be in bed?
      her - I'm older than you, so if I should be in bed you should definitely be asleep
      me - Not thinking of grassing me up are you?
      her - I won't tell if you don't

      Girls are confusing, no offence!
    • Question Asker
      2 months ago
      I get you.. before I was unfollowing some things on twitter on my phone but accidentally unfollowed her and somehow she must have gone on my profile because that's the only way to check it, I followed back but she noticed and said "unfollowing me, mature", which was odd as she ignored my text earlier in the day so I replied saying it was accidental.. she said "I doubt that very much" then I said it wasn't intentional and she replied "I'ma bust yo assss"
    • Answerer
      2 months ago
      She got cautious when it started to feel real, when it seemed like a real threat. And yeah, back off a little bit. Try to reassure her. Your texts are coming off as judgmental. You're not saying, "I want you to be safe." You're saying, "You could be every bit as dangerous as you fear I am and I don't trust you either so of course we're not going to meet unless it's in a public place." Try not be understanding, not purely logical or carefree, if that makes sense.
    • Question Asker
      2 months ago
      True, but I don't even get what's happened. One week she's all flirty and interested, the next she's cautious and I have to seek approval from her best friend to see if I am legit and won't "kidnapp" her.. she sent "And I do want to see ya but want to make my friend happy and prove it's legit first". I replied with "I'd only consider meeting you if it was a public place and you brought a mate along", she hasn't replied since. Balls in her court, let her reply to that? Not sending a second text
    • Answerer
      2 months ago
      I'd say still text her once in a while, but like I said, back off a bit. How else are you supposed to arrange a meeting? I think you really need to back off and start moving on. She needs some space. I'd say it's probably not going to happen. I'm sorry.
    • Question Asker
      2 months ago
      I would if I could but she told me it felt weird texting/calling someone she hasn't met, so my only option would be to meet her. If she's too scared to do that, I'm going around in circles.

      And yeah, I say some stupid things if a situation heats up.
  • bdeakol
    1678  
    bdeakol
    2 months ago
    Why don't you suggest that she brings her "Best friend" along, to meet you? AT A PUBLIC PLACE.
    You wouldn't be able to kidnap her then would you?

    You have 500 characters left
    Submit Comment
    • Question Asker
      A month ago
      No idea but this is more updated link
    • Answerer
      A month ago
      wtf...
      I don't get her at all... What the hell does she want?
    • Question Asker
      A month ago
      I saw a tweet saying "This is an indirect tweet, and it's aimed at you. You're a ****ing ****." on Monday, wasn't sure it was aimed at me but it felt like it. I retaliated by unfollowing her purposely this time and removing her off Facebook. She sent a text saying "Was it accidental this time or on purpose?". I didn't reply, wanting to wait a day before I do.. but noticed she unfollowed me tonight too
    Show Older Comments
    • Answerer
      2 months ago
      It's up to you. But I mean has she contacted the past I don't know 2 days?
    • Question Asker
      2 months ago
      Part of me wants to, other part just wants to not send anything at all and see if she will. I actually feel like removing her from my twitter/Facebook eventually, I mean it's not as if I have ever met her and she's the one who suddenly thought it was weird to speak to someone she hasn't met.. if I knew her in person, I wouldn't do that but there's hardly a point in having her on there if things don't work out.
    • Answerer
      2 months ago
      I think, you should try one last time.
      See what happens, then after that do yourself a favor and move on.
    • Question Asker
      2 months ago
      Yeah, I dropped the topic and backed off. I'm obviously going to meet other girls, not waiting around wondering whether she wants to meet.

      When she texted me "I won't tell if you don't" at like 2am in response to me saying "you're not going to grass me up are you?" I replied later that morning saying "be our little secret". Obviously there was nothing to reply to, but wondering whether to not make contact/back off and "test" to see if she makes contact?
    • Answerer
      2 months ago
      I don't think you were forcing her. I mean you stopped talking about the subject now right?
      And true, if she didn't want to talk then why's she still contacting you? WEIRD!
    • Question Asker
      2 months ago
      Wondering whether I was being too full on (looking at the main post). It's like I was forcing someone to face one of their fears when they weren't comfortable possibly. But I noticed the moment it looks like I'm shifting away from her, she makes contact. I guess if she was really mad and continued to ignore me, she would have rather than be playful back.

      It is definitely annoying though, she said it was "weird" texting/calling someone she hasn't met, then why is she still? hmm
    • Answerer
      2 months ago
      That is so annoying. Why is she avoiding the subject... God.
    • Question Asker
      2 months ago
      She didn't reply to it, she sent me a text when she had seen me unfollow her on twitter, which was accidental, then it kinda got playful I guess?

      Basically what I replied to "CatholicVirginia", no point repeating posts.
    • Answerer
      2 months ago
      You're right. If she makes up some excuse for that too, then she's just full of it.

      What did she say then though?
    • Question Asker
      2 months ago
      she sent me a text a couple of hours after saying "And I do want to see ya but want to make my friend happy and prove it's legit first". I replied with "I'd only consider meeting you if it was a public place and you brought a mate along". If she makes excuses for that, the whole best friend thing was a lie and I lose respect for her and move on!
 

What Guys Said
  • yaddayaddayadda02
    8235  
    yaddayaddayadda02
    2 months ago
    yeah, I'd move on...

    You have 500 characters left
    Submit Comment
  • Aercz
    69868  
    Super ModeratorAercz
    2 months ago
    It doesn't mean that if she doesn't reply that she's not already interested in you.
    Perhaps, there was an emergency and she have to go, or she fell asleep.

    Text her again, and find time to ask her out to a date.

    You have 500 characters left
    Submit Comment
    • Question Asker
      2 months ago
      Yeah but she seems put off in meeting up after her best friend said that I might "kidnap her and lock her up in a basement". I don't want to send another text and act needy/desperate
  
   
Home > Dating Questions > She's scared to meet, what should I do?
 
Join GirlsAskGuys
 
Earn Xper Points to get Tshirts, Amazon & Netflix Gift Cards and more!
 
 

 Open Contests  
Best Love Songs Videos
Music is filled with love, romance, and passion. A romantic relationship craves for music. They go perfect together. Whether it's a platonic love, a beginning of a relationship, or a life-long...
$25 Amazon Gift Card   $25 Amazon Gift Card
Check out the winner of the last contest!
Best Summer Dresses
Winner received 3000 Xper Points
View All Contests >>
Girl calls me "sweet guy". Is this a bad signal?
Anonymous User asked 14 hours ago
No! You can definitely be more than friends with her later
Yes! You are permanently in the friend's place