This is going to sound kinda out there, and obvious of an answer to most. I was 'getting to know a guy' (dating) after a horrible break up. He was so sweet he starting as a friend who was there to listen and support me, then one thing led to the next. We started to care about each other, He began to be a part of my everyday, meeting family and friends, sleeping over etc. Now he would ask about a relationship with me and I always asked for time to heal. I would explain that I didn't want to jump into something with him while another was still in my thoughts. (I thought was only fair.) He started spending a lot of time with my best friend of 12 years. He always talked very low about her. He went to her house one night and they were drinking (I wasn't aware at that time) she jumped on him and one thing led to another. He lied to me for months and disrespected me and my body by not being honest. I would have never gotten close to him again if I knew this. He wrote me a letter telling me about his dirty guilty conscience and in the same note was telling me that he's not in love with me. We have fought a lot over this situation. Everyday I try my hardest to keep a smile on my face and be a friend nothing more. I am trying to forgive him but I am very disappointed in myself and his decision making. It feels that trying to be the 'better person' isn't making me feel like the 'better person'. I would love to be a friend but still fighting and having all of these hard feelings is it really worth it? What would you all do? I appreciate the input.
Update: ***In the letter he had told me he was in love with me*** I am sorry, typo there..
6 months ago
I think you should not be friends with him if it is causing you to be miserable. By miserable, I mean fighting and having hard feelings. He betrayed your trust in a friendship and that is something you will never have back because you will always think about the one time that he was disrespectful and lied to you. He committed the worst of betrayals by sleeping with your best friend.
It is hard for me to let go, because he chose to tell me about it when I was starting to have hard feelings for him. But I doo agree and thanks a lot for taking the time to respond. Very much appreciated. - 6 months ago
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