I've been seeing this guy for 7 months now. We have a great relationship. We never fight and we always have a good time when we're together. He always pays for everything when we go out (I'm unemployed). I see him about once or twice a week. He is affectionate and is good to me. He has asked me if I could see myself living with him and/or if I would ever consider remarrying again. HOWEVER, I know for a fact he is dating others. He never leaves his phone on when we are together. I only hear from him when he wants to make plans to see me. When I ask him about the nights I don't speak to him or hear from him, I know he's lying. He's really bad at lying. He starts mumbling and stammering. I know you should give people the benefit of the doubt, but I'm in my late 30's and I have pretty good intuition. He's in his mid 40's, never been married, nor engaged nor has lived with any of his girlfriends. He's a good looking guy, gets along great with everyone, he's nice and he's got an amazing body. My dilemma is, should I still continue to see him? Please take note, that if I do continue to see him, I will still keep my options open (meaning, if a guy asks me out, I will go out with him). What do you guys/gals think about this?
Keep seeing him. Keep your options open. Realize that he's keeping his options open. Realize that until it's serious, it's casual.
And enough of the unnecessary questions, already. You neither need to know, nor want to know, where he spends his nights away from you. Drop it, or he drops you.
Re: questions. I never pry. If I see or talk to him on Saturday, wouldn't it be normal to ask what he did the night before? Why is it okay for him to ask me? - 9 months ago
Answerer
If I know my date is dating other people, I steer conversation away from their dates with others, rather than toward it. If the question "What did you do last night?" didn't raise a red flag, it should have.
P.S.: He shouldn't have asked, either. - 9 months ago
What Girls Said
N/A
When: 9 months ago
I'm kind of in a similar situation. If it's casual dating, no promises, no agreement of exclusivity, then it's one thing. (And no, you don't really need to know who else he dates.) If you are sleeping with him and have an agreement to be exclusive, it's another thing entirely! The question is: Are you okay with what you have now? If you are, then keep seeing him. If you need more (to be exclusive) then you need to have that talk with him and he'll either say okay or you have a choice to make. But if he's dating others and so are you and you like what you have, then yeah, why not? His lying doesn't necessarily mean he's a dog (though he could be, I suppose.) He could just be being a gentleman actually: it's not really nice for him to tell you the details of who he sees and when. You don't need to know that. It all hinges on whether you've ever had the exclusivity discussion or not.
He could be dating more than one person, but it sounds like he's most interested in you if he'd consider moving in with you. Maybe the others are security blankets just incase you don't want what he wants.
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(Age:36 to 45)
When: 9 months ago
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