So, I'm a college student. And there's this guy that always sits next to me and he's such a sweetheart! The thing is. I think he's really ugly lol I feel mean for saying that but he is! But, I seem to be attracted to his personality! I don't know what to do. Should I tell him I like him or ask if he has a girlfriend?
I think the real question is could you see yourself dating this guy long term. It would be nice to believe that we don't live in a superficial world, but we do. You see people tend to date people who are about the same attractiveness ( if that's a word, haha). Just think of people you know. Now rate their hottness, you know 5,6, 7, and so on. No look at their partner, they'll probably be around that same number. Most people tend stay within two of their own number, up or down. If you put an attractive person with a less attractive person, the lesser of the two will eventually feel inferior, jealous and all sorts of other sh*t that would eventually lead to the end of the relationship. So I hope that answers you're question, haha.
Why would you have to go all out and show your cards? It is NOT a MUST to tell someone that you like them. All you need to do is talk to the person, get to know them, and just be friends first. With this approach, appearance does not matter. And who knows, maybe your instinct for liking this "ugly" guy was right. Maybe he does have something special about his personality and character that could be benefical to you in some way. It's really hard to find others that have matching personality and style with our own. Sometimes our instinct tells us they are the right one. So just talk to him and be friends first. If things are good, maybe you can move up from there.
I'm definately not going to go so far as to say you don't deserve him, but a lot of times when someone genuinely likes a person, for some reason they look a lot better when they actually aren't. So if you are telling the truth and you like him and he is still ugly, I'm going to have to say not to get involved.
I think you're being really unfair. She's only telling the truth! Come on - everyone knows when someone is ugly and someone is stunning, it's just the way society works, even if our likes are different we all know who's 'ugly' - for example I'm pretty loved up with this guy - he has an amazing personality but really... he isn't good looking at all - that wouldn't stop me dating him though, hell I'd say yes straight away!
So even though I completely love the guy, and would happily date him, it doesn't mean I think he's "hot" or "physically attractive" or anything, it just means I love him for who he is.
Which just proves that you don't always need to find the person physically attractive, the looks of the person only matter at first because that's all you're judging them on, but once you get to know them and who they are inside, it almost doesn't matter at all.
ANYWAY.
Yeah answering the question, I personally think you should leave it for now and you should get to know him more, because if you feel a bit weary of asking him at this point then the relationship won't last long if you do get round to admitting your half-feelings (and I speak from experience). Maybe you'll get to know him more and the external side to him won't be such a big deal.
So you are saying that you don't need physical attraction to have a good relationship? Maybe I am wrong, but I personally could not make love to someone whom I would describe as "ugly". If you don't find your partner attractive-you shouldn't be with them - 6 months ago
Answerer
So what if your life partner was in a freak accident and their face was horrifically damaged? You would just say "Nah mate, you're ugly. " and leave them? - 6 months ago
Question Asker
Best answer yet. I'm glad someone is on the same level as me! Thank you! - 6 months ago
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(Age:30 to 35)
When: 6 months ago
"he's really ugly lol"-you don't deserve to be his girlfriend. First of all, you don't call someone ugly if you truly want to date them. Second of all, if you're not physically attracted to him-the relationship will not go very far. I suggest staying away from him and letting some other woman have him.
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