Why aren't more women approaching men?

Unfortunately society expects men to make the first move, it would be great to have women ask men out more, but old habits die hard.

If I like a guy who I know likes me, I'd go up to him. But it's a confidence booster when a guy would ask you out. I've never been asked out by a guy, except once, and it was a really creepy guy who was always desperate to find a girlfriend. I just would like to know that for once, being myself is enough to get a guy to like me and want to spend time with me. That's all it is. Know what I mean?

i see you got a lot of answers to this question! the thing is we need the go ahead from your'll first before we can take the next step. you know the usual flirting and what not. unfortunately for me, approaching the guy I liked didn't turn out so well so this has put me off making the first move, probably forever! approaching a guy is never easy, and we always tend to over think everything. like are your'll going to think we're the fast type or what's your reaction going to be!? we seem to think that by letting your'll make the first move just makes things easier for all of us. its as simple as a hi, how are you sort of thing. then we can take it from there...

Because it is emasculating and just not a good idea. Not that a girl cannot smile and make eye contact and show her interest subtly but beyond that it would be a problem. The problem is the way we are wired. Men are wired to pick a girl based initially on physical appearance and the desire you have is pretty straightforward, you think she is hot or sexy or cute and you want to hang out with her for that reason only and maybe it will lead to more, but maybe not.

Women, well we are different creatures. We are so relationship oriented. If we asked you out, and set up a date, etc., you would be going out with someone who was expecting to be your girlfriend pretty quickly. Maybe you would want that, but most guys would not.

Well, personally, I'd be way to worried about what they would think of me... if I have a thing for them, I'm definitely thinking about how they perceive me.

What is wiht this trend of guys being lazy and making girls come to them? It is the man whjo should ask the woman out guys need to start growing some and asking women out more. If you aren't willing to approach a girl to start a relationship thyan you aren't ready to have one. Men ask women out that's just how it should be in my opinioon the other way around makes the girl seem desperate and it seems sad to see women cruising the bars for guys just weird.

Well personally I go up to guys most of the time. But it's just a confidence booster to have a guy come up to me once in awhile. But yeah when I meet a guy I just converse with them. If that goes well I talk with them more and more and give and receive hugs. It's all about if the girl has confidence or not. (:

I go up to guys all the time and initiate conversations. Hopefully they don't think I'm ugly and get mad tho.

i don't think its bad for a woman to ask out a man. I personally wouldn't just go up to a guy and flat out ask him out but I would make myself known to him and at least initiate the interaction between us and then maybe after getting to know him ask him out.

I asked my boyfriend out, we've been dating almost 5 months now.

Because some were taught that it should be the men doing the courting or the chasing but times have changed, and I don't know I Do see women chatting up men at times. it's not all THAT rare if you asked me. :-)

Well, I don't know what women you're around but I've always been one to approach guys. I do think it's because of society these days though. For a while, I backed off because most women are told that it's the man's job to approach a women, and that we are seen as desperate and easy if we approach a guy or ask them out for coffee. It's almost like it's believed not to be a women's place to take charge and be agressive.

I had a crush on this guy so badly that most signs that he gave me were that he was interested, I really wanted him to ask me out, he never did so I guessed he wasn't interested. I nearly asked him out but never did, because of fear that he might turn around and say he was just being friendly, I picked up the wrong signs etc...you get me.

My view on the matter is that a guy should ask a girl out. Another reason I wouldn't ask a guy out is because it may seem like I'm desperate, and also I have heard that if I girl asks a guy out his perception of her might change, think she's cheap, after casual sex and probably is in a habit of asking guys out!

im very scared to go up to a random guy. but if its a guy I know and I like ill just go ask him out

personally, I like it when has the guts to come up to me.
it makes him seem like he's more interested in me
and coming from experience,
the last time I went up to a guy [ started flirting a little, etc ]
it turned out for the worse.

A man is known as 'the ring leader' in a relationship. And you're right, lately I've had guys give flirty looks to me, but never actually approach me and introduce themselves. Personally, I think men should approach girls. But the guys should give girls hints, if they want US to approach them. Otherwise, it's kind of weird for the girl to approach a guy first. Or maybe sometimes, one of us are just playing hard to get. I'll admit, both genders are very confusing.

It's not about who makes the move, but how woman appears in man's eyes. If you think
that woman should do the same and do the approaching, propose and so on, than first people should stop swearing at those girls who actually go out there and have fun and have many guys.
Strange that society calls them whores or sees them in a black light most of the time. Does it
happen to men? No. So only stronger and self-confident woman will try her luck, if the guy is
shy than he will appreciate, if the guy is confident he might not like dominant woman.

We want you to make the first move. that the way its "supposed to be". It feels wrong for us to approach guys, we want them to come to us.
:P

I don't know about other girls, but I know the reason why I don't go up and approach guys because I'm really very shy, and also because I'm fairly old fashioned. I've always feared being rejected, so much so that even if I really liked a guy, I would avoid him completely to avoid the risk of getting hurt. I also start feeling very self-conscious and start thinking that if I approached a guy, he would see nothing but my flaws. I also feel more comfortable when a guy approaches me because it shows me that he's interested, and knowing that, I feel like I could ease up a bit more and show him who I really am. I hope this makes some sense... ^_^;

Well I was going to today, after he said to me he liked me etc. And just before I was going to I found out he has a girlfriend and has a crush on my friend. So right now I wouldn't ever really approach a guy its safer. Yes I have had a bad experience and not all guys are like that but OMG how of putting.

in germany, women HAVE to be the ones to approach men. german men are wussies!

I totally disagree with you. I think men have stopped approaching women altogether. From my experiences and my friends, it seems that guys just don't know how to pursue women anymore.

Maybe you're annoying or ugly or something. You shouldn't expect women to just waltz right up to you constantl.

Us guys are supposed to make the first move. It shows the girl you have balls. I think girls should give more hints though cause most of the time us guys have trouble reading in to girls actions/words. Then leave it up to us to make the first move.

Men are supposed to be the dominant ones. That's my theory!
I think these days though, you can't wait for someone to make the first move, because they may be waiting for you!

I don't know really
but I will say that there is nothing wrong with women asking the men out

nothing at all!

Not that rare it's just not seen or guys do it way more.

My first few girlfriends came to me,so for me it's about even.They ether come to me or I go to them,but I don't need to go out and chase woman anymore(Once in a while),because I have friends who are girls who like playing match making "Oh I know this girl who thinks ur cute",etc,etc.

I feel woman need to step up,because the right guy might just be the one you could of had if you approached them.


Peace!

Because girls like guys to make the first step. It projects confidence, and that's a BIG plus-

Folllow any relationship to its logical conclusion and you've got a single mother. That's why.

I would be stoked if a girl came up to me and asked me out.

Because it's a bit harder for women. A man being turned down isn't as embarrassing as a woman being rejected. Also it is traditionally the role of the man to ask out a woman. That doesn't mean it should be followed every time.

The girls I've went out with approached me first haha.

A woman who goes up to guys is like admitting she's desperate, because we all know the classy ladies have guys lined up for THEM.

A lot of women today, too, have the wrong idea about 'playing hard to get'. What it really means is you have to be classy, desirable, and know your own value. What it doesn't mean is that you should lie about having other plans when you don't and act cold and uninterested. Don't "play" hard to get, be the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.

I seriously wish I knew.

Its simple... even though we live in a 'progressive' era, women still want to be chased. There's nothing wrong with that. I thought we'd be living in an era where women would approach men more too, but I don't see it either.

Women like to be pursued and have men chase them. If she approaches the guy then all that fun of being pursued and playing hard to get is gone. Women also like guys who are confident and one way to test that is if the guy is willing to approach her or not. Though on online dating sites there are quite a few women who will let the guy know that they are interested in them.

Women are actually conservative beings. They just don't approach men as men do with women because they think that men must be the one who must make that move. Another reason for women not approaching men is that for a woman a man character is very important than looks. not that looks is no need but its secondary.So if a guy approaches her first she can acess his character and make her move..