If you could improve one thing about interacting with the opposite sex, what would it be?

In dating contexts, I wish girls would just tell me what's up instead of keeping things away from me entirely or expecting me to figure it out. Or at least, if I'm asking about something that's more personal than she cares to tell me about, she can tell me that that is the case, and then I'll usually be okay, if perhaps concerned still. I care a lot, but I'm REALLY clueless, and honestly like to communicate in as straightforward a fashion as possible. This includes criticism. If I'm doing something wrong (socially, or, say, in the sack), I'd like to know, and sooner is almost always better than later. Solid communication is key.

It's also quite annoying when I feel that no one believes me when I say I won't be offended by criticism, as long as it's clear criticism... I feel "constructive criticism" indicates that it has to be phrased more nicely then I really need. Just don't tell me I'm stupid without telling me why. This is a bit of an exaggeration with respect to most cases, but if I tell *you* personally that I don't mind if you tell me off for some reason (like, me being my oblivious but self-aware self, I'm likely to say "if I get annoying, tell me" when I start to go into a topic on which I know I'm liable to rant or ramble), I really don't mind it if you do. This is really a problem with most people though, and not just in relationships, but it's much more bothersome in that context.

Of course, there's still a limit to that too. If I feel I'm being constantly criticized, to the point where it starts to seem that I can do no right, I'm not going to be very comfortable at all. And if I'm told that I shouldn't do something that I do that I feel is important, I may not comply, and that should also be acceptable from time to time, and not lead to a bunch of fighting. Certainly it could be discussed, and I may often make some sort of compromise, but some things are really important to me. Overall, it's I guess I'm just saying it's important to be able to talk about things in general, and try not to pre-establish social rules that are highly restrictive, but rather for us to try to base our interactions on properly discussed preferences. This may be awkward to hash out at first, but it's much easier than working it out through trial and error and, often as not, wasting a lot of time on a relationship that may never work out because of major personal differences.

honesty and openness from both people, and no games. say what's up, what you're feeling/thinking and it's a whole lot easier. I don't see any reason to lie or hide things from someone - telling the truth (whether it's good or bad) is much easier for everyone involved.

Well, if I had to improve one thing, I would have more confidence interacting with guys-well hot guys really lol.

Being able to know if they like me or not (if they're flirting with me or just want to be friends). And if not that being able to let them know that I want them to take more risks, guys think it's hard to ask us out, GUYS we will not ask you out, what are you waiting for commmmmmon take some risks even if we don't like we like to feel wanted and we will most definitely give you the respect for doing it in person.

I wish I felt more comfortable around guys.

Not getting nervous..and keeping the conversation flowing;)

If I could improve one thing abut interacting with the opposite sex it would be...avoid meeting women with preconceived notions, or hasty generalizations. Get to know her. This will make things run a lot more smoothly during the intial stages of pursuit. Men sometimes, sabotage a lot of great potential relationships by analyzing things way too much.

that they say what they mean and mean what they say. That goes for both sexes!

I tend to start my relationships as friend's with benefits, and this makes things slightly awkward for a while. Usually, it starts out as this because I only see the person as a friend and/or I am not sure if I really want to be in a relationship or not. Then, I start hanging out with this person constantly, and start to feel like I should probably should start a relationship with them. For the most part, it is usually the other guy liking me more than I like him. But, in my current situation, I think it might of been the other way around; at least for a little bit. I am in yet another friend's with benefits situation, and I am pretty sure that he is just wanting to date around and is just having fun with me. I think this guy has a great personality and I am attracted to him, but it is all too clear what is going on. I guess I am just getting what I deserve, and finally understanding what it feels like to be on the other side. Knowing this, I am not going to try too hard to make him become my boyfriend, or whatever. I wouldn't mind still hanging out with him, but, now, I plan on keeping my options open, and not caring. Guarantee as soon as I stop acting like I care that is when he is really going to want me, because of the challenge; I know his type.
When a guy p*sses me off, I use other guys to get my mind off of it. Pretty sure this is what a lot of guys do, and many of my friends tell me I date like a guy. So, I guess that is really my problem.

i would stop having to analyze everything, and telling my friends about it later, I'm a real sucker for recounting experiences in full detail :( oh and I would stop letting it bother me when a guy who obviously likes me doesn't contact me for while!

i've been told I'm good looking and I have a trusting personality, I've worked on my barrier and not investing too much emotions.
unfortunately I went out with a guy who ripped apart how trusting I used to be, put me down, and physically/ emotionally abused me, so the thing I would like to try to do is trust. I don't like guys who are too sexual, I don't like it when they want things like that, obviously. the douche bags are the ones who ask for sexual things and don't try to have a relationship with you , no matter how they preach or appear to be nice, the end result is if they don't work for a relationship, they're just trash. I've learned not to go back to anyone who treats me like trash

I get nervous and lots of "did I really say that" moments afterwards LOL.
Sometimes I can be myself and other times I act like a completely different person.
I get nervous on days where I look good, and days where I look my worst I feel confident.
I don't have an explination for this but I wish I could be myself & a little more confident all the time.

I wish I had the courage and will to be able to walk up to a hot guy whom I don't even know and start a convo with him. But I haven't yet been able to accomplish such a feat. :(

well since I've been cheated on,and been used few times ! so...
I wish I had more faith in men and more trust.. this is the hardest thing for me to do.. and this way ofcourse you just blew whatever relationship you have with anyone because you can't seem to trust him enough..its just frustrating... but I don't know is it me or men?

What id like Men to do is to be more honest and more direct.

Oh my goodness it's really great =] lol But yeah I'd improve my awkwardness..when I'm with someone I really like I get so nervous lol I hate that! blech haha

I'm terrible with making eye contact with guys, I'm just so shy, it embarrasses me when I meet their gaze. I also can't talk to cute guys worth sh*t.

I think that I am really bad with talking to guys outside of class work! I never hang around near my crush but, he sits right next to me in class so he is my partner for most things!

Communication, honesty, & openess!

if I could improve on one thing when it comes to relationships is being more of a bitch and stop being to nice.

I agree with the first sentence that JustOffRadar said, except with guys, obviously.

Improving wouldn't even be the context of the word - maybe self-adjusting is the word! Men, guys, boys, etc... are I guess the word I'm looking for is liable to keep things bottled up - why? Why is it so hard for men to say what they truly feel - if not that why is it so hard for men to tell a girl I don't like you rather than hurt her with ridiculous words (like oh your too easy to bring down or my presence just makes you want to break down and cry) no that's not it - hurting someone emotionally doesn't help bring their esteem up it only makes them bitter and angry and say I hate men / women or no wonder women go lesbian cause of jerks like you! Or this one is my favorite men don't like when a woman walks away from them in a middle of an argumentative conversation - well for gods sake if your going to ridicule me - what? Do you obviously think I'm just going to stand there and take it and not walk away or worse not have a backbone! No sweetheart I'll tell you off in the most nicest way possible. Men are frustrating - if you have something on your mind - say it! I will not bite if you think it's going to hurt - yes maybe it will but time will heal my wounds - its not the end of the world if you'll tell me your not interested - I can take it! I mean if you like her - go up to her - take your chance what do you got to lose - your dignity well maybe yes but at least later on - there won't be any ifs or buts or whens (if that's a word)! Same goes to women! I guess please express yourselves more often!

For goodness sakes tell me what you are thinking. Men frustrate me with the whole "being cool" act or the "suffer in silence" type. Me personally I do want to know the real truth, then give me the option to accept it or not.
That seems fair to me. Then sometimes..I will admit...I only want to hear the truth if it is what I WANT to hear. LOL.
I am not looking for a serious relationship right now, Did that for a long time. But like a little connection that you claim me not hide me. Geez, Just say what you are thinking. I'd rather I got my feelings hurt than assuming you like me and you don't.

Well I'm barely capable of speaking to the opposite sex at all so how about changing everything about my interaction with them :|

Communication - it's probably the hardest thing for men and women. It's like we don't even speak the same language. It is probably the root of most relational issues: failure to communicate. It's not that either party doesn't attempt. It is worse than that. It is that men say one thing, women interpret it one way, and then react according to what they thought they heard, and then men will repeat the cycle and it just goes downhill from there. Men and women think differently, so we communicate differently as well. A lot of patience and humility go a long way to help solve communicative issues though - as well as letting go of the need to be right or wrong.

I wish guys would be honest about their intentions. If they just want a hook up - say that. If they want a relationship - say that. If they are looking for something serious - say that. Don't just play with people for your own benefit.

I wish some guys would only try to make me feel special when they truly meant it, not just when they want something from me

Im not aggressive enough when it comes to anything remotely sexual I hardly ever make thefirst move no matter how long we have been going out.
I am extreamly self concious about my body and my apperance I will hardly ever let my boyfriend see me without my make up even if I'm wearing sweats
and finally I'm pretty emotional I wish I was less emotional around guys because I consider it a form of weakness and that's the way I was raised.

I guess you could say I'm self concious .. I mean, I know I'm not ugly but I'm always thinking of what other peopel are thinking about me. So, I guess in general getting the courage to even go up to them and talk. This isn't always the case, because I've been more open and comfortable over the past 2 years, but it still sometimes comes up.

I wish guys would learn to be more sensitive to our emotions and not act like they do not care or have feelings themselves.
To not see us as sex toys becuase your young. take us out and show us we are more than sex objects even if you do want a sexual relationship.
Spend time with us and treat us special for we will do the same for you.
Appreciate us and don't use us for what we have
Listen to us

wish I wasn't so clumsy lol

Telling the truth.

The truth is I am not a rock star, I don't play a guitar, I am barely aware of the flavour of the month band/singer, I don't like football and I'm only the life of a party after a few beers.


I can talk to chicks no problem, my hang up is really telling her about myself when she eventually gets bored of talking. The truth is most of what I have to talk about isn;t exciting stuff, it isn;t gossip, its stuff like the latest game I'm enjoying, or what my friend did while blootered last weekend or an opinion on current affairs.

The truth is I am a bit of a nerd, my only redeeming feature is I am smart enough to keep it to myself most occasions. :S

Cleavage.

As much as I love cleavage, sometimes I really hate it. On my girlfriend it doesn't matter, but on female friends, it can be a pain in the ass. How can you talk to someone, knowing full well they know your girlfriend, that... lets be blunt... are sexually appealing, and happen to be wearing a low cut top.

You're thoughts go like this.
"Eyes eyes eyes eyes. Why isn't she talking? Oh crud, she just asked a question! Think! what was it? What was the topic? Am I looking at her cleavage again? DAMN! Eyes eyes eyes. Still haven't answered the question. Guess!"... um, 6:30?

One day, when a friend who's particularly short was wearing a low cut top, I finally just came out with it. I said to her that, because she's short, even when I'm looking in her eyes I still get a periphery view of cleavage. She said that 'well that's the point', and I said well yes, but I'm not suppose to be looking there!

To be honest these days I just look. My Girlfriend and I have been going out for long enough to have 'relationship security' and if a good looking female friend happens to be 'dolled up', I'll appreciate the view. (and won't get in trouble).

But it does still annoy me to some degree.

Physical appearance.
If your good looking with a good body then anything after that is bonus, girls tend to go for the good looking guys even if they are completely and obviously jerks.
So that would get me the attention then they would find I am a nice caring guy inside later.
Too often people like me who aren't good looking nor have a good body are laughed off, then they end up with some drug addict who slaps them about and cheats on them.

Now I know there's a stream of girls ready to tell me I am wrong but I see through you all, only the shy quiet average looking girls may get to know a guy on the inside but on the most its pretty much a done deal if you look like Brad Pitt in his prime you have the pick of the litter and they will always go along with it even if you have the personality of a yoghurt.

I think the only thing I could change about interacting with them is just trying to be able to understand what there thinking because if you can see what there trying to say things won't seem as bad as they may come out to be

I wish people were more capable, (both men and women,) of articulating what they want and how they feel about things. If someone doesn't know what they want or how they feel, then they should say so. If they think they know, but there is lingering doubt, they should say that. Life is too short to waste it on doing things that don't produce the intended results because people don't communicate well enough. And, contrary to popular belief, women are just as bad about this as men, IMO.

Pure honesty

Fear...fear leads to blah blah blah but you get the idea.

I have seen either a guy or girl so wrapped with fear that even if they are both hot for each other and like each other it implodes or goes nowhere. Dating is like walking on the worlds biggest trampoline you get no where fast if you take it to slow, you will surely fall down more then once and the best way to proceed is to not think of the dating process and find your own walking style and just have fun.

Fear keeps anything good from happening and guarantees the bad. I have turned the corner on that and wasted to many years not talking to girls I liked, or not being (proportionally and balanced) honest with them on how I feel or what I want.

In the end have fun but be highly selective. Fear is the biggest complaint I have in dealing with the opposite sex (and I have more) but it is a wall you can't climb over. Many girls have illogical and undefinable debilitating fears that just ruin relationships. Not saying there isn't concerns to relationships and dating but you have to take leaps to get anywhere.

I think it would be a lot easier to communicate with women if they were:

A) More honest with themselves
B) Less attached to archaic gender roles

To be honest, these qualities would probably help men too.

I can't really say this is an improvement but its a somewhat complaint lol.

If a shy person obviously likes a non shy person they should start hanging out instead of waiting for friends to be around until they feel comfy around eachother. It's one thing if you meet at a bar/club or whatever then I can understand but if you met through friends before not anywhere near a bar or club then why not just go out and hang out?. No sense waiting for friends to be around!. only 1 life to live!.

A girl once told me that I should always make a pass at a girl I find attractive--even if I'm confident she's not interested, even if I'm confident she'll be nasty about it--because it will make her feel pretty.

I wish I could get there, I really could, but one can crash and burn only so many times before it starts to hurt.

I wish I had a better time being able to read a girl's body language, her non-verbal hints, and be able to break the ice better in starting and initiating conversations and keeping them going. I'm tired of having one-sided conversations.

If I could improve one thing about interacting with the opposite sex, it would be to be more affectionate and touchy with girls I like.

If I could improve one thing, it would be something about myself.. and its very easy to improve.. my appearance.. I think I'm good looking.. I'm an athlete.. I'm the tall, dark and handsome type.. I have a mean rugged bear when I grow it out for a couple days.. hahahha and I don't have any problems talking to girls.. I just wish I could master the concept of radical honestly.. but it wouldn't benefit me that much anyways... yes I wish I could get a super tight 8-pack.. abs.. I'm so close... I have everything else.. yes! everything else.. I got it all.. nice smile, nice hair, skin, strong arms, legs that can leg press almost 1000 pounds.. and I'm lean and tall.. 6'5! hahahah but yet and still... no 8-pack.. I have a 4-pack at best .. -__- and I'm trying to get myself to be ever so disciplined.. I try to get up every morning hours before the sun rises.. and I get almost 10 hours sleep every night..

so.. yes that's the only thing I would try to change right now... but you know what.. from my interactions with girls before.. one girl suggested something that really made me stop and think.. we were talking and we knew each for about 8 months.. we get along really well.. best friends after the first week I met her hahaha.. and one day I was driving and we were going to lunch.. and I almost got into an accident because a guy cut me off and I got out the way and continued on my way.. and she says to me.. " hey you know what.. I've never seen you mad ".. I said.. "yea.. that's right huh.. well I don't know.. it takes a lot to get me mad.. you'll probably never see me angry".. and she said "oh yea your probably passive aggressive" 0_0.. I was thinking .. "WHAT!".. hhaha because I hate that word.. I hate people who are like that.. people who don't speak their mind and hide their emotions are passive aggressive.. and I'm not like that!.. I don't know.. that just disturbed me is all.. I can't believe she thought that.. =/ but I know I'm not like that. just because I don't get angry easily . that makes me passive aggressive? don't think so. =)

It's funny how girls answers look for things they want to improve in men instead of them. Like if they were perfect, lol.

To me, I would like to get over of my overweight complex and be able to be more aggressive regardless, maybe I could get a girlfriend that way. I'm way to passive and nothing ever happens.

I think I tend to try a bit too hard. Even though my current girlfriend says she loves that I always put in extra effort, and make her feel special. I think a lot of girls get scared away by this. At least, every girl but her has been at least somewhat annoyed by this.

I'd like girls to stop assuming all guys are obsessed with sex or whatever. Some guys actually do care, and treat girls with respect.

Despite having confidence and esteem for truly the first time in my life, I have insecurity issues that I NEED to work on, no fail.

i wish girls could just stop trying to make guys jealous, it doesn't get you anywhere, if you like him, tell him, don't go off and flirt with another guy...it hurts us...and you even more

I wish I wasn't so awkward. when talking to a girl, or wheni m around a girl I like I either end up acting like a complete JERK, and not the good kind, or I end up saying something really stupid, like in my history class while giving an oral report about the bay of pigs invasion I used the phrase "yeah , they pretty much got raped" which is a common expression with my friends, not so much with my crush in the front row, who gasped along with the rest of the girls in the class...

I want girls to be easier to talk to.

Well. One thing I'm working on is feeling comfortable. I always felt I wasn't allowed to be with members of the opposite sex for a long time.

i seem to be meeting a lot of girls at bars and night clubs but not geting there contact info rate away and only had a bit of success when trying to add them on Facebook if I can find them . so the contact info or geting there # as some say be something I could improve on and if I was able to , I bet I'd get some more dates and sexual encounters with them if I had there # and could easily contact them .