I met this woman online, she really threw me off and intimidated me- so I felt a desire to pursue her. We started off as friends and things were really slow.
Then randomly I saw a message from her that said her jaw hurts... I thought it was a toothache at first, or maybe she had recently hurt herself - I was concerned immediately, I don't like people being in unpleasant pain. So I left work early, took her to the hospital and stayed with her there- the whole time she was holding my arm and trying to give me hints - what an idiot I was, I didn't act on this (more on it later)... So it turns out to be an absess etc and she needs to get it pulled- I just had mine out not too long ago and the doctor said it was almost infected =/ go figure.
Anyways, so after everything calms down (after the hospital) I took her out for a night on the town to stay out of the house. I took her to several different places, she showed me how to play keno / powerball and we sat around playing for a while... Then when it was all done I took her to a 24/7 gas station and we played the arcades there, I won her a stuffed animal and she won me a ring.
So I took her home and went straight to bed, I was late for work - she wouldn't text / wouldn't call etc... Occasionally I would text her and ask what's up, we would talk for a while and then she would get off the phone... Apparently she was just as scared as I was... Eventually she asked me out for more- specifically "I really like you, and I would like to spend more time with you"... I was blown out of the water cause that was the first girl that made the "first move" on me! My response to that follows: "Whoa.. I like you too, but I'd like to take things slow"
She slowly stopped texting / talking to me - I didn't write / call her either because I thought she took offense to that... So we were stuck in a pot hole... over the summer we hung out for a little and she joined me for floating the river after I invited her in a specific message. She joined in an instance after saying she was busy... It made me feel like a mind game was going on, but I didn't say anything...
So here we stand - she has a kid, which I adore and is funny as hell, but I'm not ready to be a dad... So I'm taking it slow and trying to fight for that mindset - I really like this girl, but I'm not ready for such a high level of commitment.
What do you guys think? Should I work on my self, should I spend more time with the opposite sex to build my confidence, do you think maybe I should continue being who I am...?
This girl is absolutely amazing, I wish I could describe her more- she is very social (I am too), she laughs almost at everything, and she shows me lots of new things to do in life, she is absolutely gorgeous, and has everything sorted out except her past with her ex-man (the baby-daddy) - they constantly argue because he won't come see his kid.
AHHH soo many decisions, let me know the truth~ K thanks~ ArtistBBoy
I think you spend too much time over-analyzing the situation. Life is short. Love doesn't come pre-packaged with the perfect ideal candidate. There is NO such thing as the PERFECT WOMAN! Welcome to Modern America. The damsel in distress who happens to be unwed, without children, and waiting for Prince Charming to come rescue her is no longer in high demand. What matters most is how she feels about you, and how you feel about her. The only difference is, unlike you, she has the 'balls' and guts to admit it.
Has it ever occured to you that maybe she is not looking for a paternal figure to play 'daddy' to her child? Maybe she is just content being with you, and maybe her child gets a kick out of just making you laugh. Some people allow happiness to pass them by. They become overly cautious, and pass up on missed opportunities. Tomorrow is never promised. We can only live in the moment.
if you have some reservations about this relationship, try talking to her about it. But taking the 'cowardly' role will also restrict you from pursuing any real 'concrete' relationships in the future as well. Limiting yourself to communicating openly with your partner will be a great disservice to you.
As some of that wasn't what I was hoping to hear, I think your answer is probably that of a professional. I know that I am taking the cowardly role - it comes from a bad past with family. As for this being the perfect woman, by no means am I saying that - what I am saying is that she is a closer match..
You know what? rather than explain this I'm gonna go talk with her about things. Thank you for opening my squinted eyes
I think you should continue being you. But hang out with her! She doesn't seem to be forcing you in any direction; all she wants you to know is she likes you and wants to keep spending time with her. She probably gets the whole kid thing. I know if I were in her position, and I really liked you, I wouldn't want you to think I was forcing you to hurry into anything. Just get to know her at your own pace.
Stop the press! I understand wanting the baby-daddy to do his part, but she's arguing with him, not good, sounds like there maybe some feelings she need to let go for this guy. You first need to be honest with yourself about what you want. If you're not ready for the responsibility, then you're not ready. I agree, I believe you need to slow down a bit' . Don't go rushing in places you're not sure of. Always be real with youself first. Adjusting youself is fine, but only if you're really up to the task.
Sounds like you really like her, I def think you should continue to pursue her. She obviously really likes you also and your not getting married anytime soon so don't worry too much about the commitment thing. You def shouldn't stop seeing her. Just have fun with it and who knows what will happen, if she is the "right" one, you will know and you will be ready for what lies ahead :)
Naw, I did it so that people don't send me hate mail - per the guy earlier "Heyitsdan" - This way, they know who I am; so they know my background... But they have to actually put in effort to get to my account ^_^
Thank you for your input - A month ago
Answerer
Wow, very thought out =) btw, as far as your problem goes, there isn't really a question there, you say you really like her, she makes you happy... where's the problem? your only decision is, do I want to be happy, or not? - A month ago
Question Asker
Well, my question is for your perception- Do you think I am ready to be in these shoes? I just separated with my ex and with that knowledge I have heard I should take some time to clear my mind. If I do take this time to clear my mind, will she see that as a negative- meaning, do you think she will try to distance herself?
See, I feel like relationships are around timing- when to say this, when to do that. I would like both male and female responses to how I feel, so I can interpret this ^_^ - A month ago
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(Age:18 to 24)
When: A month ago
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