Whose job is it to ask a person out?

i think the guy should. that's how its always been and I think that's how it should stay

I think that girls or guys can ask someone out. I think that equal rights means what it means - that it's nobody's JOB to do the asking out. I've asked out my last three boyfriends because they didn't have the guts to do it themselves.

To me, feminism means have equal rights. Unfortunately, dating does not slot in so easily because its about behaviour rather than fundamental rights. Women now have the right to ask a guy out but equally she has the right not to do so. It is all about personal liberty and freedom of choice. There's no one definitive answer because people think differently about dating rules.

I HEAR some men say they don't want to do all the asking out but in my personal experience, when I have made the move it didn't work out long-term. So I'm trusting my gut instinct on this. Men and women should be equal but they are different beings emotionally. They respond differently.They have different attitudes. Guys are not going to suddenly adapt overtly female attitudes and vice versa.

is there a girl you really like?

i strongly beleive guys should =)

GIRLS ! I ask out guys and girls and its worth the try. some times you get turned down but that's ok. guys are to chicken too !

Guys job, and let me assure you the girl might be in love with you but the majority of us think it's just not made for us to answer. I, would never ask a boy out I would hint him but it's his job. Strongly beleive this.

I think guys should be the ones asking out girls, I think it makes girls feel better about themselves when the guys are the ones asking the girl out

I think guys should be the ones asking out girls, I think it makes girls feel better about themselves when the guys are the ones asking the girl out

I think that, taken clinically and logically, either gender is perfectly capable of asking someone out if he/she is interested.
But the fact is, society is full of cues, unspoken rules, and mind-games. You cannot change it just by being angry at the reality of it. Guys and girls have different needs and expectations in relationships, and that includes the start of a relationship. Generally the compromise can be found by a girl giving signs of interest and having the guy respond by asking her out. That's very general, but work with me here.
Guys are the more physical, active gender by definition, by nature. Girls are the nurturers, the support. Yes there are exceptions and blah blah. You can't get anywhere by whining about exceptions. But anyway, that's why society unthinkingly expects guys to be the proactive ones, to go after their desires. And that's why girls accept their roles as the support, taking what happens to come to them. It's not a matter of conscious decisions.
Basically, society has always told us that men should be the active ones, the decision-makers. And there are always rebels who disagree or who simply aren't wired to think the same way as everyone else, and that's where you get the assertive girls or the shy guys. Many guys have voted that they would prefer equality, but in reality they'll still probably end up having to make the first move most of the time, in spite of their wishes, because otherwise they'll be cast out and won't have a chance to get much of anything. It sucks, sure, and it's not fair, but that doesn't mean it never works in a guy's favor.
I heard one argument saying that it's actually a pretty good deal for guys. I mean, every girl that they go after, they do it because they're interested in her. So any one of those girls that actually does say yes, they're going to be happy about it. However, since girls are the ones getting asked, it often happens that they're not interested at all in the guy, which is a bad deal for them. That's just something to think about.
Back to my rant. So I believe SOCIETY has basically decided that it's the guy's job and I think it makes sense instinctively, as I explained. And I don't think it's truly unfair, because girls and guys bring different things to a relationship; would it really make sense to be with someone who gives all the same things you do in the exact same ways? The way I personally look at my relationships is that he is putting himself out there to let me know he's interested, as well as giving me the choice of accepting his affection. And in accepting, I put my love and loyalty in him; I promise to him that I return his feelings. I don't think either role is necessarily better or worse, harder or easier. They are just different.
I didn't expect to say that much, but there's my view.

cooking is not the same thing as asking someone else out! at all. I want a guy to ask me out because its simply more attractive because:
1. he actually had the balls to ask me out instead of being too afraid of rejection
2. he's confident in himself because he just asked me out
3. he is proactive, knows what he wants and when he wants someone he gets her instead of waiting for her to make a move

I wouldn't ask a guy out because I want to treated like a lady! I am going on my own experience-any time I seduced the guy it didn't work because GUYS LIKE THE CHASE. why don't u?
If I ask a guy out, I will be considered too needy/clingy. its a fact. that's why I dont! Plus I will be handing it to him on a plate so he will lose interest very quickly. I want the guy to put the effort in. What's wrong with that?! I'm not sexist! God! I'm a very independent woman but in dating, the old rules still apply to a certain extent. I'm not saying its fair/pc but that's it and you have to work with the system you have. For example, if a girl has a one night stand, she's a slut but if a guy does he's a hero. FACT. Not fair but life is not fair. I'm just telling you the truth. There are total double standards in dating.

Guys WANT to do the running-you're shy but you need to work on that. girls ALWAYS pick the outgoing guy over the shy one. The outgoing one is less work and more fun. period.

no its nothing to do with feminism. guys like the chase. ask any guy you like. he will ask the girl out if he likes her end of. its not pc to say so but that's the way it is. I'm not afraid of rejection but I would, for example, never ask a man to marry me s I would want him to want to marry me not just cos I asked him. same with going out wit someone. I'm very independent so I don't want to demean myself by asking, its not empowering its an option but one id rather not use it because it doesn't work in real life.

i totally agree with love guru on this! if you ask a guy out it does not lead to a long term thing 9 times out of 10.

honestly some people in here need to read the book "he's just not that into you".

Its ALWAYS the guys job. and yes I feel very strongly about it too!

either should. how hard is it to ask if someone wants to grab a bite to eat? or catch a movie?
i think all the girls that chose option A or B are either shy or very insecure... there's a good chance they're going to be 45 years old sitting at home with all their cats waiting for a guy to call them and ask them out.
you can't just sit back and wait for life to happen, you have to go out and make it happen, or else you aren't truly living =)

It doesn't matter who does the asking. It is up to you if your feeling like it or not.

I strongly believe the Guy should: Girls (35) Guys (8) !
I moderately believe they Guy should: Girls (42) Guys (7) !
We realy don't understand each others, do we? Guys, come on, be more pushy, girls like it! can't you see the numbers there! aaaaa.

Guys. I think it's weird if the girl is put up to it. That's just my opinion.

Anybody else here notice that mostly it's girls thinking that guys need to ask a guy out? I also notice that rather than argue the point to any extent or come up with any witty rebuttle, most girls on here just vote people down just simply because they disagree. I think it's funny on how there was a giant feminist movement and so many people are pushing for everything to be equal but the minute it comes to something like say asking somebody out, suddenly women flee back to an archaic moral value. Another girl told me that she feels guys should ask because of the stories she's grown up with. Where I think that just because "that's the way we always did it before" is not always the best reason to keep doing it that way.

Now lets be honest here. The real reason is because you think you have to wait for the guy is because you're affraid of rejection. I'm pretty sure that's the main reason. I don't see why these guys have to be the only ones putting themselves on the line and risk heartbreak. I've asked them out before. It's not hard, and it's not so bad, and it's not like too many guys are going to say no. besides which most guys that aproched me turned out to be major players, but that's beside the point.

I bet you girls are gonna gimme a 1 down or more, but I dare you to challenge me on this. I dare you to give me a reason why you disagree with me. c'mon show me you have a brain in your head.

i usually end up asking guys out, but I really enjoy it when they ask me out, it feels like all is right with the world

funny how more girls think the guy should
and vise versa for guys.
i say the guy should.
i can be old fashioned when it comes to things like asking out someone.

i think the guy shoul ask because its pritty weird if the girl asks. like if she asked the guy out it would look as in if she was the man in a realation sh*t but that's the way I see it.

I say either works, but in a way I say its more of the guys job to do because girls have to dress up, hair, makeup etc.

After high school the question "Will you go out with me," becomes obsolete. I did ask my current boyfriend if he only wanted to sleep with me or if he still wanted to play the field after we were dating for a few months. That kind of counts I guess. It would have been fine if he asked me first too. So either one can ask.
I also believe the woman and the man have the same right to ask each other out on a date as the other.

I say the guys- I feel like after all, we have to get dressed up, we have to take care of how we look the most JUST to get a guy to approach us, so its definately up to the guy! xxxx

Traditionaly it seems best and they kinda should be incharge

wow I just looked at the poll results and realized how selfish we are for making up all sorts of excuses and reasons to basically give the responsibility over to guys to do the asking out.

there's not a single girl (or guy) who voted for D or E; not even me lol

link :)

i don't really think it matters who asks who out/ if you like someone then you should just go for it!

I wish girls would more. Maybe I'm just butt ugly but after getting 100% rejection hundreds of times in my life already, its really taken a toll on my self esteem and I refuse to even bother anymore, if the girl thinks I'm worth it she will let me know, but obviously that isn't happening so I will probly die alone.


and to all the "it takes so much effort to get so dressed up and put makeup on so the guy should ask" ...bullcrap, like guys don't have to workout like crazy 5 days a week to be ripped for you, and bust their butts to get a good paying job for you to mooch off, all you do is sit and wait for the fattest wallet to approach you.

It is definitely the guys job to ask the girl out. If the girl does it, then it means you have waited to long or been to scared for to long.

I think in the future women will make practically all the advances on men. They are just more in charge of the situation. They have more to gain, and they assume more risks. They should have total leadership over sexuality.

Any girl who disagrees: fine! We'll never do it. You'll never have me. :)

Well there is the reasonable answer which is either party should be able to ask the other out and it shouldn't be one or the other. Unfortunately, on a social level it seems to have fallen upon guys to do it because it shows, social status, that you have stuff going on, and that you are confident. Those qualities most women find attractive. So likely if she asks him out there is a new dynamic In my view I like a girl with interesting ideas and stuff she wants to do.

www.stuff-about.com

What I found most interesting about this question is that absolutely no girls felt it is the females role to ask the male out and not the males yet some guys are relying more on the women. Notice how the higher percentage of women feel it's the man's role but a higher percentage of men feel it is either.

I personally chose "B" because though I am like the majority of the guys who would like to think we should all be voting "C" I have also had the pleasure of spending a lot of time around females in which to acknowledge that in which this poll has also shown.

At the end of the day it is merely down to how an individual feels. If they want it enough then they should take it. If they can't then they just have to admit defeat. What gender you are shouldn't stop you.

The problem is so many of the good guys are just too shy to ask the girls and the girls are too busy worrying about stealing the guys role. I don't mean to be sexist but we gave you more than the right to work and vote. The whole point of equality is we all have as much right to a given provision as the previous man.

In other words, we are all equal so why should the man have to make the move. We can all make moves... Though until this is recognised, I'm going to make the moves myself because I know that otherwise I may end up letting too many opportunities slip through my fingers...

I found out a girl I knew in high school liked me. Our mutual friends kept telling me I should ask her out. I was a bit shy and didn't feel comfortable asking her out since I really didn't know her that well and hadn't necessarily taken interest in her before. Long story short, one of her friends pushed her into asking me out. We hit it off great and dated through most of high school and college. I asked her to marry me and we have now been married for 9+ years.

Morals of the story?
Girls: Don't be afraid to make a move on a guy you like.
Guys: Be willing to step it up and ask a girl out if she likes you ;)

I know girls who I'm very close to and they wished ,so many times for this guy to come up to to them or this guy and that guy,etc,but most of the time it doesn't work out that way for them,so they get guys who they don't even like coming up to them most of the time.

The first 3 girlfriends I had came up to me.I only had one girlfriend I went up to her(She ended up being the best one).

I picked Both,because of my experiences with a some girls coming up to me,because I was very,very,very shy back then and being in high school at the time where rumors become truth in one day is scary.

Guys going up to girls and Girls going up to guys,it does not matter,because If you like something,go get it.


Be like Nike and "Just Do It"


Peace!

I think ether sex should ask. If you find yourself attracted to someone, why not?

However if we face realty for a moment, I think there is general consensus that the question is to be asked by the guy. I don’t think it’s the proper mind set but who’s to argue with hundreds of years of social sex role discrepancy?

Now for the statement that gets me some thumb downs; Contrary to the movement of women’s rights in the 1960’s, a women’s idealisms have not changed in the least.

MY opinion, not yours.
Cheers.

Girls these days only want equality when it suits them :/

Notice how most of the people who said the guy should are girls. And that almost every guy said either. Why would it not be either, please girls, it's the 21st century, it's either.

Both genders should, c'mon it's the 21'st Century, eventhough waiting for someone to ask you out and take the initiative seems better than risking rejection, it's good because it means you are going after what you want, if you just wait all the time, you could keep getting hit on by people who are not your type.

It's as simple as this: if she is interested, she should quit wasting time conveying interest and just ask him out - if he is interested, he needs to man up and ask her out. Quit waiting and pull the trigger.

It doesn't matter anymore

We're living in a time of feminized men who have grown up without tribal leadership (Thanks Absent Father!)

Of course we guys would rather the girls ask us, but isn't that like asking her to hold our hands because we're too insecure to risk rejection?

Why should we expect women to spend the energy they do presenting themselves for display, and then ALSO expect them to drive the bus?

It's time we guys start taking responsibility for our dating lives, go out and grab the best woman we can meet by her hand, and LEAD her into that adventure we call dating.

She's wise enough to know if we're worth following so let's stop handling her with kitten gloves and let's stop asking her to make all the decisions for us.

I definitely think it should be the guys job, but if the girl does the asking out then she can be free to wear the "pants" in the relationship.

I believe that to say ANYTHING is the job of either sex is wrong. I believe in total equality in the relationship and for any girl to say I have a specific "role" or "duty" just because I'm a guy is an old and outdated belief that goes hand-in-hand with times when white people bought and sold black people like property.

There are instances where one person has the responsibility: Take for instance this girl's situation:

link

She is fully aware that the guy likes her and she likes him. He however has no clue about the mutual attraction. As the only person who is aware of the mutual attraction between them, it logically falls on her to initiate.

There are some arguments yes about how men enjoy "the thrill of the hunt" but the truth is that guys who are like that often make poor boyfriends because they get bored once the "hunt" is over and they get what they want, so they move on.

It should be the job of whomever it is that wants to go out with the other person, as simple as that. If someone wants something it should be up to them and them alone to at the least try to obtain it.

well personally I have always asked the girls out. to me it seems awkward getting asked out and would prefer asking the girl out.

Both should not have to wait for days, weeks, or months for the other to ask them out. They should just.. do it.

Sadly.. We still live in a society where most people think men have to just about initiate everything... It really irritates me that many women out there think they'll wait for the guys to do that.. and not even consider doing it for once.

ummm see the thing is idk...ive always been asked out...but now there's this girl I like and I don't know how to approach her lol I'm used to girls coming to me and now lol I'm blank ...but yeah it should be both there's no one has to do this and the other that "rule"

I'm torn between B and C. My reason? Well I don't have a whole lot of experience, but I accept the guy's role in initiating things, I don't expect girls to just come up to me and ask me out. But, at the same time I believe both girls and guys should go after what they want, and not let opportunities pass them by; i.e., if a girl is really interested in a guy, she should hint at her interest/make it easier for him to ask her out, and if all else fails, ask him out herself.