I've known this guy since 1st grade. He used to like me in elementary school, I think. He always tried to talk to me, I'd catch him staring at me from across the room, that sort of thing. And it annoyed me, because I liked his best friend then and not him; his friend ignored me most of the time, and he wouldn't leave me alone. I was mean to him, and it's been gnawing at me for years. Stupid, I know--I should apologize to him, but it's hard to talk to him. We have so much in common that it's hard to find something to talk about. I'm a singer (and a mediocre pianist, violinist, and guitarist) and he's a genius guitarist. Music is his life and it's pretty much all he thinks and talks about, which is fine because I love music too; but he acts as if his guitar were his girlfriend sometimes. It sits next to him on the bus so no one else can. I've talked to him a few times; the conversation will be going well, then it will just stop, and he'll clam up, and I won't know what to say, and we just sit there in awkward silence. I should tell you we're both quiet people and keep to ourselves for the most part; the difference is he is almost painfully shy. We went to different middle schools and different high schools, and we didn't really see each other for 7 years; he started going to my school this year. He turned bright red when I recognized who he was. He also has a tendency to hang out with jerks. His best friend in elementary school, the one I liked, was a jerk (I found this out the hard way), his brother can be plain mean and awful to him, and now he hangs around with a total ass and other minor asses. But he is a good, respectful person. This girl, Ana, asked him out a couple of months ago to prom; he went with her. She wouldn't stop talking about him for awhile (all she ever said was "he's so hot"); now she doesn't talk about him much, and he doesn't seem any different. Two weeks ago, they played a piece together in a recital (she's a flautist). He doesn't seem that interested in her, and I hardly ever see them together, not even at lunch. IDK, maybe it's just wishful thinking. But I can't stop thinking about him. I've thought about him almost every single day since elementary school, and now I think about him almost every minute. It's getting to be ridiculous. I've caught him looking at me every once in awhile; but I have no idea how he feels about me. I also think he's smoking pot. It hurts me to think he'd do something like that to himself. He's been through some tough times (parents divorcing, etc), and that might be his way of escaping. Or that might just be his big brother's influence. He loves his brother, but his brother treats him terribly. I've heard him say this has been the best year of his life (of course, it might be because he's going to an arts school, playing his guitar 24/7, surrounded by girls- our school's 70% girls no joke). I don't know if he likes me or wants to be in a relationship right now. I've never had a Boyfriend and I don't know how to go about this
Update: I saw Ana, the flautist, yesterday in Physics. She was talking about going somewhere with him yesterday. She was so excited and she looked so happy. He doesn't like me. He likes her. Well, I guess it's like the saying, "If you love him, let him go. "
8 months ago
Hey girlie, just talk to the guy. I'd hate to say this but the "painfully shy" will never make the first move. You can see as that flutist "asked him to go to the prom with her. " Had she not asked, he wouldn't have gone with her either. Now I know it may seem like a bit of a strain that you have to make the first move, but once you do, he'll open up to you and he'll start making the moves. I've got a little idea. Why don't you say, "Hey you carry around that guitar so much, you must love that thing huh? " He'll be like, "yeah it keeps me happy. " that sort of bullshit lol, and then you should say, "I want to see how good you are, could you play me something, something nice? " He'll be so happy since he love his guitar "sure! " Make sure to compliment him at the end and say, "wow, you play so well! " From there on, well, you can write the script
I've tried talking about music, his guitar, complimenting him. He gets a big grin, looks right in my eyes, and sometimes talks a little, then he either won't talk and just stares off into space or he walks away to talk to his friends. I've never had a boyfriend; I'm new to this. I think I'll try asking him out, but I'm not quite sure how to go about it. It's hard to catch him when he's not around his friends, and most of them are jerks. Great guitarists (not as good as him though) but jerks. - 9 months ago
Answerer
Look, do not ask a guy out. I don't know what's more painful, a girl chasing after a guy or a girl asking a guy out. If he's shy then just talk to the guy. Go up to him when he's with his friends and they'll start to notice you to and talk to him about you. - 8 months ago
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