I have been working with this guy for nearly a year and I don't know when we became friends but somehow we have. He comes to my office pretty much everyday and we talk about everything under the sun. We laugh and make small talk and have debates and I am totally into his mind... not to mention the fact that he is adorable. But he is also very nerdy and shy. But he does stare directly into my eyes when we are talking... Here are two incidents ... tell me what you think PLEASE...
1) A while back I invited him and some of my other co-workers out and I didn't expect he could make it because it he lives like 2 hours away. But he made it! In the rain! With no car! He stayed for longer than most of my other friends. When he did leave and I hugged him good-bye... he seemed to want a particular KIND of hug... lol... like I hugged him and he was like... "No no your hands have to go here!" So I hugged him again in the way he wanted... It was cute... but I didn't get it...
2) We were in my office and I was talking about a show that has jumped the shark (you know, gone into the ridiculous) and he said... "yea... I stopped watching that like a while ago." I said, "Yeah you pulled out at just the right time." He looked at me and blushed a little and was like... "What was that now?" When I saw his face, I realized what I said and we both kind of laughed nervously... then he said... "Yeah, I'm going to leave that alone because you are going to get yourself in trouble with that mouth of yours." Thoughts?
My friends think he likes me and I think there is an undercurrent there... but we have never spoke to each other outside of work save that ONE event... I am not SURE he is into me and I am really scared to ask him out. Plus I don't know how he feels about the fact that we are coworkers.
Guys... how do I know if he is into me? How do I get him to ask me out? Or ... how do I ask him out and keep the embarrassment to a minimum if I get rejected?
E.g. 1, was done because he wanted another hug. E.g. 2, was a little flirting that became too intense for him. He left his comfort zone in an attempt to keep up with you.
Those are my interpretations.
I would say it’s a safe bet that he is at least a little captivated by you but I wouldn’t be able to justify saying it’s enough to throw caution to the wind an pursue a relationship considering you are after all coworkers.
I have my doubts about you having capability of seducing him into asking you out. My suggestion is to ask him out and to avoid any fears of rejection or any awkwardness is make the invitation something that could be considered as simply friends getting together after work. Play in the grey.
Thanks for your response. You are totally right to question my ability to seduce... I am not that girl. In fact, this is the first time in a LONG time where I felt inclined to do ANYTHING to get to know a man I like. I usually figure, "well if he likes me then he will do something about it" and I don't worry past that. But I really like this guy and I have never had to deal with the "office romance" dynamic. - 23 days ago
I say don't dip into the company ink, but if you really want to know his intentions then I suggest you and acouple friends and him go to a cafe and talk and see what he wants in a girl and if he describes you then go for it.
I don't know if he wants to pursue something with you, or if he wants to stick to flirting, or if he just wants to be friends.
If he were just some guy, I would advise you to ask him out. But you are coworkers and things could get awkward at work if you have misinterpreted his behavior.
Even if he is into you and you guys do end up dating, then I would make sure that you like him enough to risk the consequences if you guys later break up (bad atmosphere in the office, not wanting to be at work, etc).
My advice is to wait a while longer and see what happens. So far it sounds like you have made all the moves. You should ask yourself if he is flirting with you or simply responding politely to what you are doing. I also think you should check your company policy about dating coworkers. I wouldn't let that stop me, but you need to know whether you have to be discreet at the office and what the consequences could be for your job.
Thank you so much for your response. Honestly, I don't think I have done anything. In that first instance he was just one of several people that I invited to that event and I hugged him good-bye because... he's my friend... no intentions there. And with the comment incident, I TRULY did not realize I had said anything flirtateous until he pointed it out.
I will definitely check on the office policies... thanks! - 23 days ago
Answerer
I know that you didn't mean to make that comment, and that he was one of many people who attended that event, and that you were just hugging him good-bye... All I'm saying is, these things happened, there's nothing wrong that they did happen, but don't read too much into his response to each one of the things. That's why I'm saying, wait a little longer to see if he makes any indication that he is into you. I was in a situation like this once and I totally misinterpreted the guy's interest! - 23 days ago
Question Asker
Yeahhh that is what I am afraid of. Especially considering that we are co-workers. The way we began talking was totally organic... I didn't force it or go looking for it... so perhaps it will flow into something else on its own? I hope so anyway. =)
thanks for taking the time! - 23 days ago
Answerer
I hope so too! Definitely keep thinking "flow into something else on its own". The time I misinterpreted a coworker's interest is still the most embarrassing experience of my life, ten years later! Some guys just like to flirt and not take things anywhere. - 23 days ago
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(Age:25 to 29)
When: 23 days ago
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